Regrets?

I've had a few...

1, I wish I had started WW in November 2006, instead of trying on my own. I'd (hopefully) be a couple of stone further on, and as my mother keeps pointing out, I'm not getting any younger.

2, I wish I had never got to this stage in the first place. Told OH today that while I've been together, I have been 22 stone. He almost DIED.

3, I wish I had tried harder, before now, at everything.

4, I wish I wasnt so blase with money.

5, I wish I had tried hard with The Pony.

So there we have it.

However:

1, Despite my best attempts occasionally, I am in rude health.

2, I am trying, not hard enough seemingly sometimes, but I AM trying to lose weight now.

3, Despite not having tried as hard as I could have, I've not done too badly for myself now.

4, I am ALMOST debt free

5, Well...She's in a good home now, and loving her was never my problem.

Then part of me wonders...is it all worth it? TBH, I'm only doing this so I can have pretty wedding pictures and be a normal size. I hope (fingerscrossed) to have kids at some point - I know, I must be crazy... and thats another figure ruiner. Is it worth it? I know it is, but I'm having wine and a 'snot fair' evening.

OH has said he'd buy my some underwear sets in the bravissimo sale (so romantic).... Never thought I'd be the type to have/wear sets... No one looks at it, right? But it feels so much better to be co-ordinating... (Am I destined to be a DQ after all?)

tired and grumpy

Well, there's a turn up, when am I never tired and grumpy...? LOL

Work was ok today, have distinct rumblings of cold (high temp - face looks like a beacon/snotty nose/general meh-ness) so spent much of the day being a warehouse wench. B not in again - has Norovirus apparently and a sicknote to prove it... (I am so cynical - she has holiday booked for next week....last time she had a miscarriage right when she moved house, the time before a bad back when she moved from the flat...)

I must stop spending money, especially while things are bleak moneywise... Today I bought 3 DVDs...2 x carmen electra 'stripercise' (that is going to go wrong...) and 1 x Nell McAndrew one. This is in addition to the three books I bought last night. Still they were in the sale. OH will block Amazon before long lol.

Kittens are being spectacularly irritating tonight...T'OtherOne was sat happily on my chest in the bath, when OH came in, frightened her and she's gouged 2 lines out of my face. Nice. NK is moulting spectacularly. Sebo is going to self destruct soon.

Fat Fighters appears to be going well again - on the scales this morning I was 16.10... On NYD I was 17.6, so have stuck to WWpoints (26) and gone to gym twice...I am on though which would have added 2/3lbs, but still, thats half a stone just by eating more 'portioned' amounts. By 5.30 though I could have MURDERED an almond croissant.

No gym tonight, (being a Warehouse Wench though was some consolation) nor tomorrow (they shut at 4pm/I finish at 5pm) but depending on The Cold Situation, I may go Sunday.

Also being 'ill' may account for my irrational foul mood yesterday? Perhaps? OH seems to have forgotten anyway.

Virtuous

I wasnt going to the gym this morning.

Then about 11am, I was.

By lunchtime it was snowing again so I'd changed my mind again.

I went to the gym. Did my whole program so feeling virtuous but am now super-hungry...OH made a pasta bake but I couldnt eat the cheese so only had half of it :S and my jelly refuses to set now. What can I eat? Bah.

Work not great. Someone pinching out the till again. No suspicions, could be anyone, once again they all have 'reasons' for doing it.

Wish it'd snow properly. I'd love a 'free' day off work.... Bonuses are apparently looking unlikely due to the pinching. If we dont get one I will be FURIOUS. I need that money....

Today I have....

*Been to the Drs and got some antibacterial/steroid cream for my manky leg
*Been to the gym
*Told a member of staff off and made her cry because she did something REALLY fucking stupid over new year and cant see she's done anything wrong
*Am in 8th place in the 'people who go to the gym most' stakes from December!!
*got back on the diet plan.
*resisted chocolate

I was so dispirited in the gym - it was such hard work and there are mirrors everywhere. Still, have just had tea and eaten all my points, and am having the same tomorrow.

Was really busy at work, much busier than we thought we'd be. Went back in the warehouse, it is fun in there.

I have some chocolate coins in front of me, looking at me. I must move them as they are being uber tempting....

Happy new year.... :bawling:

There we go, the cost of Christmas and new year - a stone back on. So this has obviously bodged my aim to have got to goal weight by 1st August. Sigh. Must not be depressed, must just be Very Good instead from now on. I am not going to tantrum (remember yesterdays post....all part of Being Positive from now on).

Now for the measurements. So, first thing on a morning (it's new year, first thing IS half 9) on the first of every month OH will take pictures of me in the same clothes and I will measure and post the results here. This WILL shame me into doing it properly again. Also, I will stand up the whole time.... Sometimes I think I sat while I did various ones and sometimes I didnt.

So. Measurements (inches).
L. calf - 18
R. calf - 17.5
L. thigh - 29.5
R. thigh - 29.5
Hips (inc tummy)- 52
top hips (on bellybutton)- 51.5
waist -43
under boobs - 37
L upper arm - 15
R upper arm - 15

Eeeek, have just checked back on an old blog and the only place I havent put weight on now is my arms. :bawling: Off mattress shopping in a bit, so will see if OH fancies trundling round the big hill. Back to gym tomorrow.

Right... pictures....Have done some bra & knickers pictures too, but they're for when I'm Very Thin and sticking on the fridge.

front
left
back
right

Right, off to buy a mattress now. Wish gym was open :blush:

resolutions, pictures and measurements

I forget when I started out this year at, but think it was about 2.5stone heavier than I am now ( :O how shit does that sound now?)

Was PNMiL's 60th last night, good night...I wore my dress and got some lovely compliments :)

All in all, an odd year. Good though. 2008 will be the year I:

*get thin
*get divorced
*sell my horse
*sort finances out good and proper
*sort teeth out
*be organised.
*not get so stressed by things

OH and I will:
*get planning approved for our house
*get the building work started
*stop arguing over stupid things
*forget we're together at work and behave like Proper People.

Tomorrow starts with the monthly pictures/measurements. Will do them every month on the first day, wearing the same clothes so maybe *I* can see some difference.

MUSTMUSTMUST get back into the idea of fat fighters again, have failed badly so far.

Off to look at mattresses tomorrow. Can't wait, ours is knackered.