Please will someone make up my mind for me?

Because I am obviously incapable of doing it.

Do I stay or I should I go?

In other news....Didnt ride. Wetwetwet. Arena under a foot of water, as is most of the yard. Could have hacked I guess but not really in the mood - :coughhangovercough: DID go swimming though, check me out, on my own too. Did 70 lengths, nearly killed me. Took me hours.

Was meant to be going to see a friends band tonight but instead have stayed in, drunk no alcohol, watched a DVD and done a jigsaw puzzle. Rock n roll. I think I am actually 45.

I lost myself, I cannot speak

go on, take everything, take everything, I want you to...go on, take everything I dare you to. I told you from the start, just how this would end, when I get what I want then I never want it again...

Somehow, other peoples words fit better than my own.

I've been drinking, clearly.

Tired

As ever I thought of lots to blog but I'm tired and can't really be arsed.

Rode the fathorse this morning, she was a pain in the arse. I really am going to have to think about moving yards, seriously. The arena is flooded almost constantly in this weather, I rode in the field this morning but now she's shod we've marked everywhere we went, the hacking is amazing, but the only hackable routes on a morning involve a narrow, fast, busy road. When I'm told she's been done for the night, I'm not convinced she has been....That's not such an issue, because I always go and check her anyway, although I am worried about my holiday. But then I spend time up there and I love it. I love being on a small yard, and being left to get on with things as I want. I just dont know what I want.

Went to yoga last night, got told off for giggling. Come on!! She told us to give our pelvic area a lovely massage, then we had to stroke our inside thighs!! Everyone else must have been made of stone not to have laughed at that.

Work was a bit shit today, although Stu and I found a caterpillar and made him a house with mint, tomatoes and some random bit of tree in a fatballs tub. He's very small though and stu drilled holes in the lid but I think he'll squirm out. In fact, I couldnt find him when we left tonight. I'll get to work tomorrow and he'll have eaten the office ala the very hungry caterpillar.

Food has been shit, we'll not mention that. I think I might attempt swimming over the weekend. Maybe. Gym was good, I think. Managed a minute running (on the flat, natch) at 7.5mph. Did thin arms and some sit ups too.

Tired now, can't decide whether or not to gym before work, or go to the yard. It's rained on and off all day, so can't imagine the school will have dried out any and we're meant to have heavy rain all weekend.

Very excited about going to see Terrorvision again in October :grin: Chris will hate it.

I think I've actually fallen in love with the Juno soundtrack.

Big FatHorse Cobby tantrum

Tried to recreate the lesson this morning - my God do my hands hurt! Had to give up holding onto the breastplate, but tried very hard NOT to slip my reins. Worked to a certain degree, but not as consistent as the lesson. Suppose to be expected really. Was Very Forwards Indeed. No problems falling into a downward transition and canter was...long!! It's the only way to describe it! Having gone from only managing half a long side of canter before falling back into trot to managing 2 circuits is shocking. She tried falling in on the transition into trot from canter, but for the first (and probably only time, ever) I had a contact AND my leg on and she couldnt. Well, obviously, she could, but she clearly wasnt expecting me to be so organised and sending her on, so thats where the tantrum came in. CERTAINLY wasnt expecting me to push her through it (neither was I!!) and after that was a Good Girl. Sulky, but good. I'm still in shock that so many problems seem to have been solved just by picking up (more of) a contact. Even (especially) canter - I would have thought having more of a contact meant that she had more of an excuse/I was stopping her going forwards, but as yet :touchwood: that doesnt seem to have happened.

We went out for a hack yesterday morning, just round the bridleway. Think I might have to rethink the idea of doing that on a morning now the schools are back - it was Busy. She's having a day off tomorrow - me and Fanny are going to the gym in the morning before work, then yoga after work, so between work & yoga I'll go up and muck her out, she needs new shavings in.

Pleased with her today, she was good. My riding is atrocious though. Hands and legs are everywhere, especially in canter.

September measurements

Tuesday September 2nd
L. calf - 17
R. calf - 17.5
L. thigh - 26.5
R. thigh - 26.5
Hips (inc tummy)- 45
top hips (on bellybutton)- 41.5
waist - 36
under boobs - 32
L upper arm - 13.5
R upper arm - 13

Saturday August 2nd
L. calf - 17
R. calf - 17.5
L. thigh - 26.5
R. thigh - 27
Hips (inc tummy)- 45
top hips (on bellybutton)- 44
waist - 35.5
under boobs - 34
L upper arm - 13.5
R upper arm - 13

Meh.

You are always trying to keep it real,

I'm in love with how you feel.... I loveloveLOVE that song, so much. I can't even say why, it just makes me feel all happy.

I've enjoyed this weekend. FatHorse got new shoes (fronts) put on yesterday and her FatCamp made bigger, then we went to BingleyLive...Was fab, Infadels were .... Well.I was kind of disappointed by them cos I love the albums so much, but the first 2 songs both had 'sound issues' and then no one else really seemed that into them. They were good though and I enjoyed it. Chris was a bit bemused I think. I'd rather go see them in a grotty club somewhere I think. The Automatic were better than I thought they would be, the Delays were good and so were Scouting for Girls. Terrorvision were ace, loved them. They're playing in leeds in October, I think we have to go. Band/woman on before Infadels...Emily Bones... Much to Chris' horror, I loved her. Looked for an album (I can imagine her being fun to run to) but just managed to subscribe to some podcast instead. Missed the Happy Mondays cos we were both tired and ready for home (via the pizza-takeaway...hummm) apparently they're rubbish live anyway.

Got up this morning and brought FatHorse in to wash her legs and rest (ahahahaha) before our lesson. Also washed her paws so we looked marginally less like dirty pikeys. Went to the gym after, and had an ok session. Not the best, but not the worst either, by a long shot. Got the key stuck in the locker though, which was foolish. Pat had to come and rescue my clothes. Thankfully it was before I went in, not after I'd showered.

Went into Leeds afterwards. Got a tankini (check me out) from Bravissimo. My belly hangs out the bottom of it though so dunno if I dare wear it :blush: Really need to win the lottery and go spend it all in there. Was measured for this getup, current bras are 36GG...tankini is 32HH. Can't decide if that means they've got bigger or smaller - cup size wise. Went to M&S after and just got a 'normal' costume (for half the price :rolleyes: ) and I think I feel more comfortable in that. Oops. Went into Primark and got some jumpers (still iceland shopping), then looking in New Look and got 2 new tops (1 says Miss Attitude, the other announces 'Here comes Trouble...' and has a picture of little miss trouble on it.

Got home just in time to go up and get the FatHorse for our lesson. Instructor is really nice and we solved the 'falling in issue' in about 30 seconds by getting me to pick up my contact by about a foot. Oops. She had me holding the breastplate where it attaches to the d-rings with my outside hand with my little finger to keep it constant (they hurt like buggery now) and ask with my inside hand for her to soften, on a circle at first, then as she starts to soften to go large. She felt so slow and stuffy to start with, but apparently this is good. Was easier to ride when I got 'it', but I could feel myself getting ahead of her at times. Am to NOT KICK as that makes her shoot her head up. Meant to ask about spurs but I forgot. Whip must be used behind my leg (so basic) and not on her arse. When I got 'it' though, 'it' felt amazing - nice and short and right *there*. Chris tok some pictures and a video... We worked on canter, but didnt really get to work hard on it as FatHorse was knackered. It's going to be REALLY hard to keep my contact on the canter transition cos I feel I'm stopping her by holding so 'tight' but she didnt, in fact we had our longest arena-based canter ever on the left (allegedly our worst) rein... Chris filmed it - you can hear me yell 'GOOD!!' as we make the transition (head isnt pretty, but the transition is nice, rather than running into it) then all the way round you can hear me yelling 'Good! Come on! Weee! GOOD GIRL!!' Oopsy.... Going to book another one when we get back from Iceland. I can't really afford them any more regularly sadly but it was good. Sundays is going to have to be Lesson Day over winter. Pissed it down the whole time, till the end of the lesson, then it stopped. Typical. My hands look like they're all over the place on the video though :S But it was good, I enjoyed it and instructor is nice.

Good weekend.