Saturday 12 May 2007

Difficult Dilemmas

My pony is poorly - has a very bad back. I really dont know what to do for the best. V is being uncommunicative other than to tell me about the leg mites (what leg mites?!) and vets way of clearing them up *I* don't agree with, but... Nor do I really agree with the 'turn away and dose with painkillers for a month' attitude to her back. Am sat here absolutely bawling my eyes out, can't help but think of my dream the other night where she died, but can't afford to have her back really, but right now...Oh, I dont know. Fuck, shit, bollocks, arse.

Might ring SelfishN and see what she thinks.

Not going to gym today - not that stiff considering, but need a(nother!) day off. Feel awful about the horse now.

Now spending the day uploading more songs to the mp3 player. I can forget how long things (exercise!) takes with it on. My saviour LOL.

Food: 2 bowls crunchy nut cornflakes, 12 biscuits, garlic ciabatta, pasta with tomato and marscapone cheese.

No exercise

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Rang SelfishN. She thinks I should take her back :S I dont know what to do. People I have discussed it with also think I should take her back. Finally had a text from V, says a lot without saying anything, and still no response to most of my questions. So have sent another text back, and no response to that one. I know she's tired, but :S Someone tell me what to do, I really dont want to be a bitch and I'm trying not to be a selfish brat, but :'(

Fuck fuck fuck

Friday 11 May 2007

I need to learn the word 'no' !!

Or self restraint. One of the 2. Preferably both!

Odd day at work, horrid atmosphere. Both MrD & SC are being really 'please watch me do this so no one thinks I'm stealing'. LovelyM thinks its outragous that his 'till priviledges' have been taken away, which I semi agree with but also agree with the fact they *have* been taken away. *dizzy* lol. Didnt really get much done.

S appears to have split up with her boyfriend. Again.

Went to the gym this evening, did 20mins (inc cooldown) on cross trainer, 33 on treadmill (11mins warm up, 22 fast walk and cooldown), then 15mins on rower for first time! Think I did it all wrong and on the highest setting :S Did 144calories in 15 minutes. Burnt about 600 I think in total on the cardio stuff, then I did my weights.

Food: porridge, banana, dime bar, quavers, muller light, 1 pie d'angloys and ham french stick sandwich, 1 big bowl crunchy nut cornflakes, 4 sweet biscuits! See, wheres that self restraint! Just as well I did the 15mins on the rower.

Exercise: gym.

Thursday 10 May 2007

Bah

It would appear I might have had the tiniest weightloss since yesterday. Going out tonight and will eat Fat Food. Bah.
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6pm. Joy. Just got home to find we have no water. May not be going now.

Food: salad (chicken/cheddar/cranberry sauce), greek yoghurt, blueberries, raspberries, packet quavers, 1 bacon and cheese burger with bun, chips, coleslaw, salad, tomato sauce, half a slice of cheesy garlic bread, sticky toffee pudding and custard.

Exercise: none.

Bah indeed. Good night though, nice to see everyone.

Wednesday 9 May 2007

:bawling:

No weight change whatsoever this week.

I'm so glad I've swum so far and been to the gym 4 times.

Whinge whinge whinge. Yes, I am in an arse about it. Why can't my body do what it's SUPPOSED to?

Anyway, just back from work. A significant amount of money has gone missing in the last week or so. Only 2 people that could have done it - SC and MrD. Sadly, *I* suspect the latter although....bah, I dont know.

Food: porridge, banana, muller light, 2 biscuits, pasta, cheese sauce, sausages, peas, garlic bread, natural yoghurt, handful blueberries, handful raspberries

Exercise: 40 lengths swimming

Tuesday 8 May 2007

Fat but also fit LOL

Went to lunch with SelfishN. Went to White Hart. Very nice, very posh, very expensive. Didn't help that I had spilt petrol all over myself when filling my car up and stank the place out. :blush: Lunch was really nice though. I got 5 minutes to talk about me and my stuff *shock* but then things went downhill until it was time for my fictional Drs appointment :blush: I'm so awful.

Came home, pottered about for a bit, then went to gym with S. Was quite fun, did my usual workout, and have increased the reps on my weights, so now I do 3 sets of 8. Must remember to keep counting though!!! Moved up to level 5 on the cross trainer too and by the time we finished on the treadmill, the incline was at 4.0 and speed at 6kph. Very red by time I had finished and my legs ache now! I must be crazy to be considering going swimming tonight too! Was fun doing it with S, much easier to stay motivated I think and it helped we're both competitive, although obviously she's far fitter than I am. Hopefully we're going to go next Wednesday as well - fingers crossed this turns into something we do when we both have a day off together.

In other news....apparently, reviews are for definate next week, while G is off. I am hoping this is a good thing.

Food: spaghetti, cream sauce, mushrooms, smoked bacon, half a pizza sized garlic bread, 2 bowls crunchy nut cornflakes and milk, 5 biscuits.

Exercise: gym, 70 lengths in pool

Monday 7 May 2007

Irritated

9am this morning, I was in the gym, had done my 10mins warm up and was on the leg press, when who should I see walk in, but IrritatingColin who I used to work with :thud: I ignored him and he did likewise although the gym is so small we couldnt fail but to see each other, especially when he went on the pec fly thing RIGHT IN FRONT of my cross trainer. Got incredibly sweaty on the cross trainer, I swear went quicker but burnt less calories? Odd. So, irritations number 1&2.

Irritation 3 - Bank Holiday, had to work. Funny day. Not busy yet still didnt manage to get much done at all. I was knackered anyway, despite it not feeling (mentally!) like I'd done much at the gym, had irritating customers all day (I love my job, I love my job) and then home to find ...

Irritation 4 - the cat appears to have been sick, numerous times. Mostly on our bed. OH had washed the duvet, so have stuck the bottom sheet and pillows on too.

Irritation 5 - SelfishN is back, and has found out tomorrow is my day off. Have invented a Drs appt to go to in the afternoon, but know my morning is now ruined as will have to trail round after her all morning, listening to herherher. I'm so awful, but I know if I was in a position where I needed the help I've given her or advice or whatever, I know I would be given her opinion, that is what I should do and there would be no further comment on it. FFS, when my horse went on loan, she drove us there (for a fee!), and while I spent the whole time in tears, she wittered on about boy trouble!! Forgive me if I sound bitter.

Irritation 6 - well, there is no irritation 6, yet. No, there is. Why have I not lost weight, and why, knowing this, have I agreed to go out, far away, on Thursday, so no time for the gym? part of me thinks my body isnt used to the gym routine and I should just swim tomorrow and weds, and 'nothing' on Thursday, but the other part thinks 'I'm really not going to lose weight with that attitude'. I dont know, I might swim AND gym tomorrow, or I might go to the gym Friday evening instead :nolife: I also appear, at long last, to be having some kind of excuse of a period. Maybe that will help...

Irritation 7 - I have no self control whatsoever and have had chocolate, a quarter of garlic bread and a slice of pizza today. Therefore have cancelled out the gym-going this morning.

I have also decided that when I get a repeat prescription for the Pill, I will make sure I see a Dr, point out that all weight loss appears to have stopped since I went on Cerazette, my periods have stopped and am generally tired, ratty and moody. Am also going to ask for Fat Pills I think.

Irritation 8 - I think I have another cold starting.

Food: 1 slice ham and mushroom takeaway pizza, 1 quarter home made garlic bread, half a slice homemade pizza, half a penguin, half a blue riband, 1 chunk dairy milk, 1 chicken, cheddar and cranberry sauce salad, 1 muller light, 1 banana, chicken, boiled potatoes & butter, carrots, green beans, gravy, cranberry sauce, 2 rice cakes, 1 laughing cow light triangle.

Exercise: Gym.

Sunday 6 May 2007

Going to need my day off on Tuesday!

Even so, I can't imagine that the ensuing exercise will in any way, shape or form forgo the gluttony which I am about to partake in. Bah.

Went swimming this morning - did 70 lengths :thud: Finding it very easy to sit here now and say I could have done 80lengths fairly happily...although, I really think I could have done. By the time I got to 60lengths I had a proper energy surge, and while it didnt make me QUICKER exactly, I just kept plugging on. Took 80 minutes, so not great but not exactly shabby either. Bank Holiday tomorrow, so off to the gym at 9am to fit it in before work. With S coming round, this could mean I end up with about 3 hours sleep :lol:

Work....pah. While I do enjoy my job, customers do irritate me occasionally. Although MrD sold a collar and a choke chain to someone doing a bondage show!!

Food: Salad (chicken/mozzerella/cranberry sauce), snack a jacks, muller light, 3 apple custard sucky sweets, pizza, garlic bread, wine, 1 caramel, some tangy cola sweets.

Exercise: 70 lengths in the pool, 40 minutes (416calories) on the bike.

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S & her OH have just gone...they brought their (lab) puppy with them. Once Kitten was over his shock they played together fairly happily, as far as a 8month old dog can be about being chased by a cat.

About Me

I am FB *waves*. 27/F/UK. Fed up of being fat so have decided to make myself an online diary of how its going. Also probably featured within this here blog is my OH, my NeedyKitten and work, which is a petshop.