acheyachey

Dont know why but moving is an effort this morning. Knee is still sore and leaking mank which isnt helping.

Rode the FatHorse last night, she was a good girl and poo picked her field. Will finish it off later today. Also had an emergency eyebrow wax last night lol. Can't decide whether I want to ride or not - was meant to be going for a walk-only hack with Sue but she's bailed out on me (not entirely unexpected), and now the thought of schooling makes me want to poke my eyes out and can't really be arsed with hacking on my own. But then, I want to ride before I go away, although I suppose I can Monday at some point and Tuesday morning.

Having my hair done this afternoon, very exciting. Going to GLEE tomorrow, can't really be arsed but never mind. I'm going to go uber early, aim to get there for when it opens and then be done and home by 6pm. Aims and all that. Never driven to Brum before, bit nervous lol.

I'm going to be ill for Iceland, I know it. My head is fuzzy.

Have packed most of the stuff I'm taking. Thought 20kgs would be hard to keep within, but :touchwood: i seem to have kept it under.

As for dieting, exercise etc.... Since I fell over (I;m still so embarrassed) I had 2 rubbish gym sessions, Wednesday I should just not have bothered going. Food has been eaten, a lot of it as well. Yesterdays gym wasnt so bad, could be better but I say that every time and never push myself hard enough. I should really go today or for a run, but as with riding I can't pull myself together enough to go. I've got so lazy :( but I know if I go and dont do it any quicker/better than any previous runs I'll be rubbish. Tomorrow I wont get to go to the gym although depending on when I get back, I might go for a run. I can gym monday and tuesday hopefully.

I cant remember if I put that those bras I got from La Senza on tinterweb didnt fit - I took them back yesterday and was going to get more bras to replace them. Nothing fit :bawling: The only ones that vaguely fit (cupsize) were way too big in the back. I'd forgotten the card I'd paid for them on, so now I have #40 vouchers which i can only spend on pants cos nothing else fits me.

Shockingly this hasnt increased the self loathing, just means I can't stop eating. PLEASE kick back in soon, I'm putting weight on like you would not believe.

Urgh

Stupid manky knee. Got greeny-yellow shit coming out of it...nice.... Still hurts to do the rower, get on and off machines and....stuff. It's only a graze, how can it hurt so much?!

Was meant to be my day off tomorrow, but have to go in - Stu forgot that K had already booked the day off and let V have a days holiday, so I'm doing a half day and not going in at all Tuesday.... Just as well cos I'll be utterly over excited lol.

FatHorse got sedated today to have her legs done. Nicola sedated her, stayed to make sure she was ok, then left and the little shit (Moll, not Nicola) came round seconds after N left. So we twitched her and got her done. I'm so jealous, she has uber skinny legs now. Wish my legs got thin just by shaving. She looks so smart now. Well, her legs do, the rest of her resembles a yeti but I'm not clipping her till I get back from holiday.

Still thinking about yards etc. Is making my head hurt. There is a potential in Otley, which sounds good. No lights on the arena though, but I could ride on a morning, and there are lights in the barn (there arent at current yard). I dont know, am trying not to get too overexcited. Not doing anything till I get back from holiday anyway.

Food has been shit. Gym wasnt so bad as last night, but was painful. Stupid knee. Dont want to go to GLEE on Sunday on my own :( Bah humbug.

Wish I could get back into being good again.

Bah

Self loathing isnt really kicking in as I'd like. Put 1lb on at FatClub yesterday :( I have a sneaking, horrid suspicion it will all kick in while we're away and I'll be too busy being a grumpy arsed bitch to enjoy the holiday and ruin it for the pair of us. Obviously I will try and avoid that.

My knee hurts :( Stupid grazed knee. Why is it always the little things that hurt most?

Rubbish.

So, about that self loathing and hatred...

Can I have it back please?

Went for a run this morning....was both successful and highly unsuccessful.... Successful in that I ran up more hills than Saturday AND it took me a minute or so less (hey, it's less) BUT I also fell over :hugeblush: and have a rubbish ankle that hurts to walk on and a grazed knee which hurts to have clothes on.

FatClub was rubbish, another 1lb on, but instead of channelling the hatred, Chris and I went to the Royalty for tea instead. Was nice, but not as amazing as we like. Still, I have got drunk so i am happy.

Need to ride a FatHorse in the morning - clearly safer than running!!!

There we go!

Self loathing and hatred has kicked in at last, just in time for my holiday. Better late than never I suppose. Hasnt stopped me eating a sandwich, having dessert or hot chocolate though :rolleyes: Have been a dick.

Had a fat scan. Same weight as way back in July.

La Senza shopping arrived, doesnt fit.

Work....I'm not seeing I'm getting into my new office any time soon.

Fat Fighters tomorrow, MUST go. Can't decide what to do, work - QUICK Mol then gym & FF, or swap Mol and FF?

Oh these decisions. And no, I'm still no closer to knowing what to do about yards.