Instead of just SAYING it....

I should actually DO it.

I WILL stop eating rubbish. I WILL do more exercise. I WILL lose weight.

Starts tonight, obviously, having had 2 ham & cheese sandwiches for lunch and the remains of a packet of hobnobs (non-chocolatey, I checked the calories yesterday, the choc adds another 40calories per biscuit). It's vegetables for tea though, so not a total disaster. Hmmm. Was 14.11 on Monday, am tempted to get on scales tonight/tomorrow for a sneaky peak but I must be good and not look till Monday. Hmm. I'll try. I havent been to the gym today (I was going to write yet at the end of that, but I've just realised it shuts in 35minutes), but I MIGHT go for a run after dark. Possibly.

Have ridden today though, she was mostly good although I utterly misjudged the weather. Assumed as it started off grotty it would stay grotty, but noooo, it pissed it down while I was riding and Stinks was a bit numb (cobs don't do working in rain...) and was windy but as we were in the bottom school it wasnt that bad. Finished and it's been a lovely day since then - I've even put her washing out on the line. Saw the dentists girlfriend and as she's been told she can't ride for another 3 months I've offered Stinks to her if she wants to ride at all. She's said she'll ask if she can have some lessons on her as she's utterly lost her confidence. Said Stinks'd be fine if she stayed in the school. If she does ride her, I hope to god she (stinks) behaves....

Gales forecast for tonight :S is already windy down here, god knows what it will be like at the yard. Gale force already I suspect.Have cleaned my tack today, properly stripped it down etc so itwill be foul for the next few days to grubby it all up again.

TAM has asked if I want to start running with them again on a Monday night. I've said yes. Don't think we're starting this monday though.

Oooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuchhhhhhhhhhh

I have self diagnosed an absess in the tooth next to the one that had the mammoth filling last month. Tis currently agony although I confidentally expect it won't hurt at all tomorrow until I've left the dentist.

Drs is going to be a bit pointless. I've come on. Ick, but will put Chris' mind at rest (and mine, now I know she WON'T be fiddling). Killer gym program tomorrow. Half looking forward to it, half dreading the after effects. Was going to see if I could do it today instead, but didnt see Jen at the gym although apparently i ignored her driving by in her car. Completely didn't see OR hear (she shouted) her. Oops.

Managed to cut my little finger open this afternoon on some glass, right where it bends so it won't properly heal. That's sore too. Generally being a bit miserable today.

Rode this morning, first time in fucking ages. Used the top school, she was a tit. Well, she wasnt but she doesnt like it and goes like a bag of nails and I forget how to ride. One of the other liveries has had some horrific luck with her horse...trying to decide whether to offer her stinks to ride occasionally if she wants. Hmmm.

Hmmm

So, 4 gym sessions in 4 days. And I have worked hard in them. Sweated and out of breath and everything. Tongiht I have Friday Feeling and have had wine & ice cream as well as flapjack and sandwich at lunch. Oh well. Doing Killer Program on Friday morning. I am going to die...

Oh well, I'll be muscly. I think I might try and do Killer Program once a week if I can, then 2/3 'gentler' programs. I am currently being held up high as Queen Gym Goer by some of the other gym goers who saw me getting my program... I'm enjoying it. I want it all the time. I want to be the thinnest, best person :nod: Not sure I'll manage it thanks to my addiction to food in general, but I'll try. I'm not doing so good on the whole running outside thing though. Only done it once this month, might not make my target.

Don't get too excited, but I think I'm rediscovering how much I enjoy the gym... I need to get obsessed again, just for 6 months.

What do I do when I'm thin? What do thin people do? Do they just sit and admire how fab they look? What happens then?

Nearly good

:rolleyes: Must try harder.

Was going so well, even went to the gym again tonight, but watched an advert while I was there about creme eggs which OBVIOUSLY meant I wanted one, so went to the shop on the way home. They didnt have any so I got me some munchies and chris some twisty thing. And had hot chocolate. But I went to the gym. That's 3 times in 3 days. That's more than I've been in the last 3 weeks. I hope there's some decrease in me by Monday....I don't feel as bloated as I have done, but I LOOK fat still (I know what I mean) but the unbloated feeling could just be smugness that I'm (attempting - badly) to eat less... Who knows.

Gym tomorrow, maybe Thursday and definately Friday (as part of my FoodBan day)...Plan is Drs, gym, horse, bath, dentist, horse so no time to be distracted by food. Won't work, but the thought is there.

Bit concerned about Drs, not exactly dignified.

Chris went for a meeting with work owners today. Got given a pat on the head and told we're great. Thanks...I'd rather have had a cash thank you....untaxed.... *sigh*

Can't decide whether to have a lie in tomorrow or ride. I'd like to ride, but Chris isnt working so I feel a bit bad setting the alarm for 6am. I can ride Thursday i guess.

Come on, you fat bitch

Get with it.

I have put back on a shocking amount in a horribly short time. I no longer weigh less than Danny :bawling: - I think it's that alone that has spurred me back on. Actually, it's that and Vickie wanting to start running and going to the gym. I want to be the best at getting thin - I'm such a spoilt brat it's unreal.

Anyway. Today was going to be a Good Day. I'd eaten all the Christmas Chocolate and wasn't intending on having anything extra - had vegetables for tea. However I noticed I had half a pack of Doritos left so I finished them in a sandwich, had a hot chocolate and just had a nutella yogurt. BUT! I went to the gym and nearly killed myself so it's ok. It's rubbish how long it takes to build fitness up then lose it so quick.

Friday am going to Drs in the morning to be checked after us finding Chris' lump. I'm really not looking forwards to that. Then I must gym and I have the dentist as well in the afternoon. Would like to ride at some point, havent ridden for ages and doubt I will as it's got wet again. Shame I don't really have time to ride down to the bottom arena on a morning. Hopefully there'll be space there soon.

TOMORROW will be a good food day. There is nothing nice to pick on left in the house. I've checked.