sleepy

Have not slept well (no particular reason) and am now trying to muster up energy to go up and do the horses.

Can't really be arsed. I might just go up and turn out and muck out then come back and ride later. Bet it rains later though.

Decisions, decisions.

Have to re-remember why I[m doing this

I need to be thin for Iceland and the whole swimming in public thing.

Chris-pizza and wine is not helping this cause although I feel better than i have done in a while.

Gym was good, although the t shirt I had was too short in the arms to wear in public, so I borrowed a gym one. it was white. not a good thing, I was rubbish and it showed. Did some sit ups, ran 3.25miles in 37minutes, rowered and cross trained. FatHorse has had the day off today, she might get ridden twice tomorrow though, dpends how I feel.

Do I like wine, or do I just like to be drunk?

I'm really tired this morning...

Forgot to tell Chris I didnt have the horses to do this morning, so alarm went off at 6am...again. Hadnt got to sleep especially early either. Thought, for about 5 seconds, about getting up and riding anyway, but decided to go back to sleep, which I did for 16 minutes until the snooze went off. Typical. Still havent gone to yard. I SHOULD ride tonight, as am having Chris-pizza and wine for tea, but I really want to go to the gym, and if there's time do some situps and stuff. Or something. I could do both, but if I ride first I'll be rubbish at the gym which will upset me, but if I ride after then god knows what time I'll be back. Maybe she can just have the day off and I'll do some jumping tomorrow. Maybe.

NEARLY managed 3 miles in one go last night at the gym, think I walked for about 4 minutes in total (walked 2 or 3 times, I cant remember) and did it in 34 minutes, check me out - really pleased, but also a bit :huh: because I dont *think* it would have taken to much effort to have run the lot. WHY though, can I not do it outside??? It's highly frustrating and mildly upsetting too. Did rower, x-trainer and tried to get thin arms, but the arms weren't really happening last night.

Stupid stuff is getting stupidly stupid. Can't move without somewhere hurting now. My own fault and now I'm feeling better I'm cross, because it's so STUPID.

Urgh, today wont be a good day at work. Lots of orders to put away and the new girl is in. Really must pull my finger out and become what they seem to think I'm worth.

seriously, I do piss myself off.

I've just had an AMAZING gym session, but I'm fucked off with it :rolleyes: I should have done 3 miles. But I did manage 2.3 instead. The rower was ok and the cross trainer was same as always, increased the weights for my arms as well. Still wish I'd done 3miles though.

AND. Something work related, it's a good thing, but I dont think I deserve it - not false modesty, just dont deserve it. Why can't I just be grateful?

Pony was a witch this morning, dont know what got into her, but she was SO backwards this morning and I just couldnt get her going at all, so ended up losing my temper (bad) which meant she did too. Didn't come off, but it was a close thing. I'm going to lunge her tomorrow, then go back in the school Friday morning, and maybe do some jumping IF she is a good girl. Little shit she was this morning.

Had put weight on this morning but I'm not getting in an arse, I ate badly after the meeting and I'm sure it will have gone by next Tuesday. Hopefully. Was fine all day (although didnt get lunch till 4pm cos of meeting) but then lady next door brought some biscuits round for us, and I acidentally ate 4. Oops. Just as well it was OK at the gym.

This keyboard is really fucking me off, I press letters and nothing happens unless I go back and press it extra hard. Has taken 40minutes to write this. Rubbish.

Oh, and Must Try Harder. I'm fine until I start.

Can't decide what sort of day I've had.

Started off badly when I decided to hack out on FatHorse, given she'd been such a good girl schooling yesterday morning. I KNEW the second I got on her, she was going to be an arse, her back was right up and she was just silly, right from the start. One of the shetlands has had a foal :wub: and that caused a high speed reverse till I booted her, she remembered forwards then. Went past a tractor - THAT didnt phase her, obviously, but the dead fox in the verge, definately did. We had Issues with the drain again, then were fine until we got to The Cows. She is not scared of cows. She used to live in a field with some, was stabled next to some AND hacked through them. She tried spinning, she tried reverse, she tried threatening to go up (shocked her when I booted and growled 'fucking TRY it, you little shit' at her -I wasnt coming off her, still had to get to work and have a wash etc!!) and in the end she slinked past, but not content with having got past, she had to have a little spook at the end, at nothing :rolleyes: Oh, and a very big spook as we came off the bridleway because the 2 mounds of sand that were there on Saturday, weren't there this morning. Then went back along Yorkgate absolutely golden. She is a little shit. Told her I was tying her to the gate for the pikeys to take. She wasnt bothered. Think she realised they'd bring her back again.

Work not too bad. Money gone from the tills. I have my suspicions. Irritatingly it's not who I *wanted* it to be. Was fun in places, me and V had a huge attack of the giggles, we were very naughty. I was crying and couldnt breathe and inadvertently scared everyone cos they thought something was wrong. We want to go to the circus, tomorrow night will be cheapest, but I have to go to the gym, hmmm. Or Saturday, but it will be packed with kids. Is most disconcerting driving past the garden centre and seeing a zebra grazing. Clairebear thinks its a white horse they've painted black lines on.

FatClub. I went, I've lost, I was told off for losing too much, too quick. Thought the whole point was to lose weight? Ridiculous. Meeting was rubbish and Sarah unsurprisingly has bailed out on me, so I went alone, which made it even more rubbish. Next time I think I'll just go get weighed and then go to the gym. Havent actually lost as much as they say though, because I was wearing different clothes and next time I'll obviously be in my gym stuff, which will weigh less than jeans and a hoodie.

Have not been good.

Lets go for 'rubbish day'.

Rubbish, I'm sorry

i dont know what the hell was up with me today. Got to gym, was stupid before I even went in, got on treadmill, full of energy and ready to do my best gym-run ever. Fuck knows what happened, did 1.3miles then completely and utterly stalled, ran half a mile or so more then had to walk the last bit to 2miles because I had a horrendous stitch. Walked that off, then went on rower, did the intervals (500m 20sec rest X 4) and it wasnt too horrendous, but by the time I'd done those I was late. Why? I wasnt late going down there? Rubbish. So was bad after too and suspect I will be in trouble later.

Work was fairly rubbish, but yay for no pikeys. Desperately wanted to ride, but the wind was horrendous, could barely open the doors to the barn, fathorse was being a tit and while I still wanted to ride, self preservation kicked in. Still cross though as I intended going on wii fit, but Chris is sat in front of Top Gear and is not for moving.

Bad food today as well. Rubbish day all round really.

I'm sorry