I was having such a really good day as well today.
RRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
God, i piss myself off and now theres all sorts of extra explantions.
twat twat twat
it was no surface, all feeling....maybe at the time, it felt like breathing.
Saturday 21 June 2008
positive things for a saturday
1. Still dont seem to have pissed anyone off
2. I am healthy
3. My vets bill is totally paid (as in, I paid off the credit card last night. Poor again now)
4. I'm going to be thin soon
Think thats it for this morning, eek!!
2. I am healthy
3. My vets bill is totally paid (as in, I paid off the credit card last night. Poor again now)
4. I'm going to be thin soon
Think thats it for this morning, eek!!
Friday 20 June 2008
two blogs in one day
and they're both positive ones, who knew??
Had a really nice day today, but dont know why, really, it's just been A Good Day. Maybe I should start my day by thinking of positive things more often? (actually, it's probably not a bad idea lol).
Went to gym this morning and had a review done by text LOL. It was hard!! run 400metres as fast as I can (7.5mph today, for the first 2 anyway, then 6.5mph for the last 2) with a minutes rest as many times as I can... Today it was 4 times, is harder work than I thought it would be. Anyway, 2.5km in 18minutes. Can't decide if thats good or not? I was red, out of breath and sweaty by the end though, more so than when I just do 2 miles in however long I can anyway, so must be good. Then went on rower, 500metres with 30second rest. Fastest was 2.05m, slowest was 2.09m. Again, no idea if thats good. The idea with the cross trainer was to do 2minutes fast and a minute slow.... I just couldnt do it, so just did my normal x-trainer routine, then I went and tried to get thin arms with the weights. By the time I finished I looked like I'd showered in my clothes - and I had nothing to change into, yuck yuck yuck. And I had to get to vets to see if Molls vet bill was ready - it was, and it was a shocking EIGHTY SEVEN POUNDS. I did ask her, numerous times, if she was sure it was right, if she had the right horse, the right account etc... she seemed to think so anyway.
Got back home, to find a letter from Barclays to say I'd been charged for a DD that I thought I'd canceled and which I obviously hadnt and it had come out of the account which had insufficient funds. So trundled back down into town and paid that, and the bank-lady has refunded the #15 charge, check her out!
Went to see FatHorse and decided to go OUT for a ride. As we left we ended up joining 2 riders going past. Asked them if they minded me tagging along till the bridleway and they said they didnt. Ended up having a really nice chat, I might accost them the next time I see them and ask if they want an extra hacking partner. Had a bit of a tantrum when we left them, but nothing like I was expecting, and to be honest, I'm not entirely sure the tantrum wasnt actually over the fact I wanted her to walk over a drain and not over the fact she had to leave her two new friends at all. Met a couple with their kids on the bridleway and FH embarrassed me totally by sticking her head in the pushchair while I was talking to the parents. Expected child to scream (I nearly did) but kid loved it. Left them and carried on, got to Yorkgate and :eek: there were 2 piles of sand either side of the track. Dear God, the reaction was suitably drama queen esque. They were hiding trolls and all sorts. Trundled back along YG and back to the yard, the pair of us in great moods. I might even do some jumping tomorrow night. Check us out, hey?
I was thinking earlier about the stupid things I do. I think I can narrow it down now to the times when I would have had a cigarette before. It's getting ridiculous at the minute though, although I've been good today, I really cant hide it for much longer. Mostly when I'm 'stressed' or cross. Or just bored. Before the gym because I dont think I'll do as well as I want to, after the gym because I havent done as well as I wanted to, at work because customers/staff/reps have infuriated me, at the yard because I havent ridden well or FH been an arse... Anyway, the whole act of taking care of it afterwards distracts me from whatever has happened and by the time I've dealt with it, whatever has upset me has passed. Thats my theory anyway, it's probably a load of bollocks.
Got home to find that V had bought me some of my most favourite ice cream ever as a thank you for doing some posters to find her dog... AND I was still within points enough to eat some. I told her she really didnt need to, but I loved that she had LOL.
See, today has been a good day. I am happy, happy, happy. I have a lovely Christopher and some amazing friends, who all mean the world to me. I just need to not fuck things up and it's all good.
Had a really nice day today, but dont know why, really, it's just been A Good Day. Maybe I should start my day by thinking of positive things more often? (actually, it's probably not a bad idea lol).
Went to gym this morning and had a review done by text LOL. It was hard!! run 400metres as fast as I can (7.5mph today, for the first 2 anyway, then 6.5mph for the last 2) with a minutes rest as many times as I can... Today it was 4 times, is harder work than I thought it would be. Anyway, 2.5km in 18minutes. Can't decide if thats good or not? I was red, out of breath and sweaty by the end though, more so than when I just do 2 miles in however long I can anyway, so must be good. Then went on rower, 500metres with 30second rest. Fastest was 2.05m, slowest was 2.09m. Again, no idea if thats good. The idea with the cross trainer was to do 2minutes fast and a minute slow.... I just couldnt do it, so just did my normal x-trainer routine, then I went and tried to get thin arms with the weights. By the time I finished I looked like I'd showered in my clothes - and I had nothing to change into, yuck yuck yuck. And I had to get to vets to see if Molls vet bill was ready - it was, and it was a shocking EIGHTY SEVEN POUNDS. I did ask her, numerous times, if she was sure it was right, if she had the right horse, the right account etc... she seemed to think so anyway.
Got back home, to find a letter from Barclays to say I'd been charged for a DD that I thought I'd canceled and which I obviously hadnt and it had come out of the account which had insufficient funds. So trundled back down into town and paid that, and the bank-lady has refunded the #15 charge, check her out!
Went to see FatHorse and decided to go OUT for a ride. As we left we ended up joining 2 riders going past. Asked them if they minded me tagging along till the bridleway and they said they didnt. Ended up having a really nice chat, I might accost them the next time I see them and ask if they want an extra hacking partner. Had a bit of a tantrum when we left them, but nothing like I was expecting, and to be honest, I'm not entirely sure the tantrum wasnt actually over the fact I wanted her to walk over a drain and not over the fact she had to leave her two new friends at all. Met a couple with their kids on the bridleway and FH embarrassed me totally by sticking her head in the pushchair while I was talking to the parents. Expected child to scream (I nearly did) but kid loved it. Left them and carried on, got to Yorkgate and :eek: there were 2 piles of sand either side of the track. Dear God, the reaction was suitably drama queen esque. They were hiding trolls and all sorts. Trundled back along YG and back to the yard, the pair of us in great moods. I might even do some jumping tomorrow night. Check us out, hey?
I was thinking earlier about the stupid things I do. I think I can narrow it down now to the times when I would have had a cigarette before. It's getting ridiculous at the minute though, although I've been good today, I really cant hide it for much longer. Mostly when I'm 'stressed' or cross. Or just bored. Before the gym because I dont think I'll do as well as I want to, after the gym because I havent done as well as I wanted to, at work because customers/staff/reps have infuriated me, at the yard because I havent ridden well or FH been an arse... Anyway, the whole act of taking care of it afterwards distracts me from whatever has happened and by the time I've dealt with it, whatever has upset me has passed. Thats my theory anyway, it's probably a load of bollocks.
Got home to find that V had bought me some of my most favourite ice cream ever as a thank you for doing some posters to find her dog... AND I was still within points enough to eat some. I told her she really didnt need to, but I loved that she had LOL.
See, today has been a good day. I am happy, happy, happy. I have a lovely Christopher and some amazing friends, who all mean the world to me. I just need to not fuck things up and it's all good.
Being Positive.
I am. Today will be A Good Girl Day. I think I need to start making a list of positives everyday, because I really am a lucky person, I just dont see it at times.
So. Todays positives. This may get shorter as the week goes on..!
1. I have a Christopher and some lovely, amazing friends.
2. I also have The FatHorse and The Kittens
3. The above are happy (I hope) and healthy.
4. I am losing weight, I will do it and I will be thin.
5. We've had the plans approved for the first bit of the house extension.
6. I am still remotivated re the weight thing, despite a flapjack-shaped slip up yesterday.
7. My manky foot did not hurt at all yesterday
8. I've just paid off my credit card, so when FatHorses vets bill arrives, I can put it straight on that and not worry about it sitting on S' account for ages.
9. I do love my job. Despite how much I complain about it. Got told the other day that I have 20days of holiday I'm still to take before he end of November, otherwise I'll lose it, no carrying over or getting paid for them. Normally I've used my holiday by the end of March!!
10. I'm going to Iceland!!!
11. I've almost done a full week of riding before work and then gym or some sort of exercise in the evening. (Today I MUST do both as well - day off). Tuesday was the only day I didnt do any real exercise (dont count walking to fatfighters, esp as Sarah drove me back home), but, a day off is good...I guess.
Wow. That is more positives than I thought. Now I just need to stop the ridiculous scratching and then I can go to bed whenever I want rather than hiding in there before Chris gets in. And wear my shorter armed tops when I have thin arms. And it's just a stupid thing to do.
Now I just need to motivate myself to get to the gym.... Or ride this morning, one of the 2.
So. Todays positives. This may get shorter as the week goes on..!
1. I have a Christopher and some lovely, amazing friends.
2. I also have The FatHorse and The Kittens
3. The above are happy (I hope) and healthy.
4. I am losing weight, I will do it and I will be thin.
5. We've had the plans approved for the first bit of the house extension.
6. I am still remotivated re the weight thing, despite a flapjack-shaped slip up yesterday.
7. My manky foot did not hurt at all yesterday
8. I've just paid off my credit card, so when FatHorses vets bill arrives, I can put it straight on that and not worry about it sitting on S' account for ages.
9. I do love my job. Despite how much I complain about it. Got told the other day that I have 20days of holiday I'm still to take before he end of November, otherwise I'll lose it, no carrying over or getting paid for them. Normally I've used my holiday by the end of March!!
10. I'm going to Iceland!!!
11. I've almost done a full week of riding before work and then gym or some sort of exercise in the evening. (Today I MUST do both as well - day off). Tuesday was the only day I didnt do any real exercise (dont count walking to fatfighters, esp as Sarah drove me back home), but, a day off is good...I guess.
Wow. That is more positives than I thought. Now I just need to stop the ridiculous scratching and then I can go to bed whenever I want rather than hiding in there before Chris gets in. And wear my shorter armed tops when I have thin arms. And it's just a stupid thing to do.
Now I just need to motivate myself to get to the gym.... Or ride this morning, one of the 2.
Tuesday 17 June 2008
Hmmm
Fat Fighters meeting - LOADS of people from the gym there, suppose it was to be expected really, but it means that I can't give up now. One of the gym people does the weighing. REALLY dont like that, but I'm sure I'll get over myself. I came out all remotivated but I sem to have lost it a bit now... I'll take the stuff they gave us and have it as bedtime reading, hopefully I'll rediscover the motivation.
Really must ride the fathorse in the morning, meant to this morning but was so tired when the alarm went off I just lunged instead and I feel rubbish now, especially as it took as long as riding would have and I ate shit all day.
Still, riding and gym tomorrow, thursday and friday. Must put my stirrups up a hole, I was so ineffective in trot the other day.
Wish I was thin. And rich. And probably someone else entirely.
Really must ride the fathorse in the morning, meant to this morning but was so tired when the alarm went off I just lunged instead and I feel rubbish now, especially as it took as long as riding would have and I ate shit all day.
Still, riding and gym tomorrow, thursday and friday. Must put my stirrups up a hole, I was so ineffective in trot the other day.
Wish I was thin. And rich. And probably someone else entirely.
tired this morning
Dan gave me a Dan-Compliment yesterday. Apparently 'it's been fucking AGES since you were in a bad mood Rach!!'. So, yay me! Unfortunately I am knackered this morning and am already in a bad mood, and all I've done is get up and dressed. Doesnt bode well for rest of day, does it?!
Ran/walked from work to Business Focus last night with T&someone she works with. I held them back :( I'm 1000000% sure the more running I do, the more rubbish i get, I really do. I did it with swimming too. Rode FatHorse yesterday morning as well, she was ok, there was some moments of brilliance, but mostly she was a tit. I'm meant to be riding this morning, but like I say, I'm knackered so I'm just going to lunge.
Made her a FatCamp Sunday night and she went out in it yesterday. Checked her a couple of times during the day and she'd fencewalked a bit, but, I know its mean, but I'm not hugely bothered. If she's fence walking she's not stuffing her face AND she's working off what she's eaten lol.
Got a FatFighters meeting tonight with Sarah. I just dont have the willpower anymore so I'm going to go and be shamed into losing weight. Hopefully the competitiveness will reinspire me. I have 3months (ish) to lose 2 stone and it's just not happening at the minute :(
Need to think of things to sell to pay for this bloody vet bill. I dont even want to know how much it's going to be.
Ran/walked from work to Business Focus last night with T&someone she works with. I held them back :( I'm 1000000% sure the more running I do, the more rubbish i get, I really do. I did it with swimming too. Rode FatHorse yesterday morning as well, she was ok, there was some moments of brilliance, but mostly she was a tit. I'm meant to be riding this morning, but like I say, I'm knackered so I'm just going to lunge.
Made her a FatCamp Sunday night and she went out in it yesterday. Checked her a couple of times during the day and she'd fencewalked a bit, but, I know its mean, but I'm not hugely bothered. If she's fence walking she's not stuffing her face AND she's working off what she's eaten lol.
Got a FatFighters meeting tonight with Sarah. I just dont have the willpower anymore so I'm going to go and be shamed into losing weight. Hopefully the competitiveness will reinspire me. I have 3months (ish) to lose 2 stone and it's just not happening at the minute :(
Need to think of things to sell to pay for this bloody vet bill. I dont even want to know how much it's going to be.
Sunday 15 June 2008
3 things
1. check me out, the cardio queen.... rower 2000m 8minutes,29.3seconds, bike, program 6, 15mins, 5.05km, x-trainer, level 17, hill program, 240calories, treadmill, 2miles in 23minutes dead, but did have to walk 3 times (3 minutes) but did the last 3 or so minutes at 6mph. Was pleased today.
2. Rode FatHorse. She was, um, turbocharged. We were only going to have a mooch round the school, but we did a better impression of something speedy. I did think about taking her in the field, but given its only two days since the vet was twittering on about colic surgery and 'is she insured?' we stayed in the arena.
3. Built Fat Horse a FatCamp. Cross everything that she doesnt escape into the main field, or onto the bridleway, she doesnt colic and she doesnt do anything else that might cost me more money. Oh, and cause her ill health, obviously.
But. Still no self control around food, still rubbish on the treadmill, still rubbish at running outside. Running from work into town tomorrow with 2 extra people I dont know and I really dont want to do it, they will be uber fast and I wont keep up and will hold them back but can't back out now.
Made a bit of a mess.
2. Rode FatHorse. She was, um, turbocharged. We were only going to have a mooch round the school, but we did a better impression of something speedy. I did think about taking her in the field, but given its only two days since the vet was twittering on about colic surgery and 'is she insured?' we stayed in the arena.
3. Built Fat Horse a FatCamp. Cross everything that she doesnt escape into the main field, or onto the bridleway, she doesnt colic and she doesnt do anything else that might cost me more money. Oh, and cause her ill health, obviously.
But. Still no self control around food, still rubbish on the treadmill, still rubbish at running outside. Running from work into town tomorrow with 2 extra people I dont know and I really dont want to do it, they will be uber fast and I wont keep up and will hold them back but can't back out now.
Made a bit of a mess.
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