So. About this 'Being Good' thing...

At 11pm at night, I have so many good intentions. I will do 200 situps every day. I will go to the gym (minimum) 4 times a week. I will go for one run a week. I will attempt to do press ups every day until I can do 100 proper ones. I will not buy ridiculous magazines, because I don't have the money. I will not go to the supermarket on the way home and buy food Just Because I haven't eaten a proper meal (yet) that day. I haven't eaten a proper meal because Ive spent the day eating biscuits and buns and sweets.

Urgh.

So. It's 9pm, so I'm earlier than normal. Despite my manflu (which, tbh, looking at Kristen & Wayne, looks actually quite horrid, I think I'm getting off lightly so far), I will ride tomorrow and I WILL gym. I will have to do both of these things in order to compensate for Fat Food at the Fondle. I will do all my transfers and get Mollys livery money together (3 weeks worth) and put it Somewhere Safe so I don't spend it all. I will not look at my bank account at any time between now and January 9th and think 'Oooh! I've got more than £20 in there! I'll have a tenner out Just In Case'.

This year I will lose the remaining 4 stone. I will also clear my work account and attempt not to get it over £100 again. I will clear my credit card and only put things on it that are in dire need of. This may potentially include new clothes (if I'm going to lose 4 stone, I need new ones). And teeth, natch. Talking of which, they are sore at the minute and he's not even doing anything. Back on 16th Jan.

FatHorse was slightly less of a shit head this morning, but I don't think she likes the surface. I can't decide whether or not to take her down to the posh yard and ride in the outdoor there, although everyone will be mucking out in the morning, and I will therefore be in full view. I think I might stick to the top yard for a while.

Every so often I can feel myself getting shit again like I was over summer, which both frightens me and reassures me in equal measures. It frightens me because i think if I have another episode like that I won't be able to stop, but I am reassured because I did it this year, I can do it next year. Although, I have just this second cancelled my FatClub membership. I must get back into the mindset of writing down what I eat - pointing. I know most of the points for stuff. Still, it's £7 a month that can go towards my credit card... Self control!! I do have it, somewhere. I hope I find it again soon.

Must Be Better.

Urgh. I have put on 6lbs since the beginning of December. I have eaten nothing but sweets and chocolates today in place of real food and as a result my skin is all spotty and blotchy and shit.

Must Eat More Vegetables.

Went to the gym tonight for the first time in a week. Managed normal program but was nearly dead by the end. I lose fitness so quickly :(

Rode FatHorse this morning in the arena on my yard. She was a little shit bag. Up earlier tomorrow so I can do battle for longer if necessary.

Still urgh

Still man flu-esque.

FatHorse has the farrier coming tomorrow and the Top Spec cool condition cubes may have done such a good job she may really be a Fat Horse again by the end of the week. I'l get on her on Wednesday. Went down to the bottom yard this morning. It's Very Posh. I'm not sure we'll fit in :S

Being Fat. it's rubbish. Day off and havent been to the gym either. Shit shit shit. Must go tomorrow. Giving up Fat Club, I never go on the site anymore anyway.

urgh

I have a new car (skoda.. I ask you. You can tell Chris bought it), a cold (again, from Chris) and utterly no motivation whatsoever for going to the gym or going running at all.

Urgh.