Must not be overexcited about Hypothetically, Potentially, but Hypothetically, Potentially, SOMETHING *MAY* be happening around the beginning of Juneish time. Possibly.
Had such a lovely sleep last night, I was utterly exhausted from the night before, and could happily have slept for days. OH on the other hand, didnt, and was wide awake from around 4am.
Work wasnt too bad, still can't concentrate, and still occasionally had to run in the office, shut the door, scream quietly, and come back out again lol. Undecided re the Pony Situation. I dont feel I have been the unreasonable one, but then, I wouldnt, would I? I really dont know what to do, or how to feel. One minute I am over excited about having her back, planning stuff, looking round yards, trying to work out when is best for me to have her... The other side, thinks 'fuck, how am I going to pay for all this? Its not in pony's best interests, I hated that yard, why am I thinking of going back, I wasn't confident on her in a Dr Bristol & a flash, how will I feel with a cheltenham gag and a grackle?' etcetc. The best situation is if the loaner buys her now, but somehow doubt that will happen. At worst, will just have to give her 6months off, get a friend to ride then sell before winter - I cannot afford her. Its a horrible decision, but I have proved I cannot cope with her still being mine and somewhere else. Best if she belongs to someone else and I cut all ties.
So been totally unable to concentrate all day - head is partway Somewhere Down South, partway in the office talking to the owner, partly on the W&C order, partly on the yards I'm going to look at... Basically everywhere it shouldnt be.
Building work is coming on. Wall is totally out now, and beam is in. The metal things holding it all up should come out on Monday, and hopefully the shop wont fall down. Then I think the office is being pulled down, then the counter is moving....then the front is coming off the shop. I wish we'd taken pics, because it will all look so different.
Still havent been to gym or swimming. Another piggy day.
Went to Drs, apparently weight gain is very normal, and although she didnt weigh me (dont they learn?!) accepted I had lost weight, and said it was good, although she could imagine how disheartening it was that it was going so slowly. Suggested the coil as another option. I dont think it is one I will take up. Said the periods thing was totally normal.
Food: 1 bacon & mushroom & brown sauce bun, 1 slice pizza, salad (ham/mozzerella/halloumi/salad cream) muller light, 2 rice cakes with laughing cow light, 1 ham & pie d'angloys sandwich, 1 chocolate muffin, chicken, yorkshire pudding, green beans, carrots, boiled potatoes, cranberry sauce, half bottle pink wine.
Exercise: Nowt. Nada. Bugger all.
