uuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I'm tired. No gym today, headachey and just meh in general.

Went into Leeds rather than HGate, what a disaster. Nothing fitted, not even a 22 M&S pair of jeans. Well. They went on and did up, but they were too tight to actually wear in public. And the top I tried on (in an attempt to lift my wardrobe of just dark colours) bagged badly at the back.

So I gave up, bought some Soap and Glory (new obsession) miracle creams and a book and came back home.

Why is my motivation slipping? I do wonder if it's the weather and the fact I am sick of winter now - and not even any ponies in sight. But, hmmm, I dont know. I want this so badly but I seem to have been trying for so long now.

I came on today as well (week early, hmm) which wont help. Also wont help in my 'lost 3lbs by monday to keep on track'. Need to lose 2lbs this week just to sts. Damn those baguettes/muffins over Tues & weds. Plus I now have the DEFINATE start of a cold.

IdiotChild has rung in 'sick' again for the weekend. Half hoped we'd see her in town, but nooo. Did hear a band playing live one of TheEx's bands songs today. Nearly had a fit, thought he was there.

Must stop spending money. It's my own fault I'm in so much debt.

I wanted to do an OU business course (I really am finding it hard at work) but it's SO expensive. I've asked the local college for information on any courses they might have instead. Shame because I would have liked a degree. No particular reason, I just want one... Was 1200 though just for the foundation - more again for the diploma and then even more for the actual honours certificate.

Hmmmm

OH and I both have a day off tomorrow, but I dont know what to do.

We SHOULD go through our finances and decide how much is left to pay for etc. AFAIK, I SHOULD be debt free by my birthday, although I must make a concerted effort to get my teeth sorted this year too.

What I want to do though, is go into HGate, and Shop. The novelty of being able to shop in at least 2 extra shops (M&S and next) will take a while to wear off. I doubt we wil. In the time I've started this entry, I've stopped and gone to Tesco to do the Friday Big Shop and now we're back I feel utterly drained. Tired and achey. I was almost considering the gym tomorrow, but if I wake feeling like this, I wont bother.

Mattress is still :wub:

So tired. Going to have an evening of Family Guy I think.

farty....and oh dear...

Oh my....I have horrendous wind. Such a classy girl lol.

CPD wasnt bad, bit boring in places, but the equine worming section was ace. Crap 'substantial buffet' so OH bought me 2 baguettes which i ate on the way home, along with 2 chocolate muffins and some Revels.

0point curry today.

My books arrived today, think I will read Dietgirl for inspiration. Doubt I will make it to 15's :(

OH!!! AND!!! I paid off AND cut up my barclaycard today. Just the car, my hsbc card, mattress, loan and surveying costs to pay back now :unsure:

Hopefully should be out of debt by my birthday. Dependant on a few things. Will have to ask for clothes for my birthday!!

rahhhhh

i cant really be arsed to blog.

Allegedly started early so I could go early. I did go early. I went to the gym and just did cardio (too lazy today for resistance too) and just as I came out....The alarm for work was going off. So have spent far too long waiting for a numpty to come out who took far to long to decide to leave it till tomorrow.

Also to make today go oh-so-slowly, the road outside is flooded, so we've had hardly any customers in. For a scary while we thought we might be flooded in, but thankfully not. Did mean though that instead of the 3 minute journey to the gym, it took me 23, and had to go up the bank, down the chevin and round about.

Mattress arrived today, looks FAB. I cannot wait to go to bed.

Thats about it for today. May have scuppered the 'be in the 15's by February' today - am 4 points over already. And CPD tomorrow and Wednesday....no pointage then. Sigh.

Still a little bit rahhh!

No idea why. Getting a little bit uptight about the CPD (why? Chances are I wont see anyone anyway) and just rahhh! in general.

Posted on the forum about makeup and either Clinique or Benefit seems to be the choice, although a few people have mentioned Lancombe too. Someone else suggested going to to proper beauty person and getting HER to pick my colours etc. And then there's mineral make up. Where to start? Where do I find a beauty person from?

Gym this morning, worked hard. Was bright red and very sweaty by the time I'd finished LOL. Think it is getting easier, and today I was 16.2 so something seems to be happening. Lets hope this next week or so doesnt go tit shaped cos then I will have easily made the Feb 1 target and be well on the way to March 1st target.

Didnt go to OHs sisters in the end, drank sparkly wine instead. Doubt we will go see I Am Legend either. I bought 28 Days Later today cos apparently IAL is like that and I managed 5 minutes before I made OH turn it off. Big pansy.

New mattress tomorrow. Cannot WAIT, I am so excited :grin:

hair, decisions and a banghead

Hair - took 4 hours, but I'm chuffed :biggrin: First colour didnt take so she did another with a darker colour - I like :D Will be a shock to OH though!! However spending stupid amounts of time in the hairdresser meant that I couldnt go to Boots and spend lots of money OR go to Next to buy more stuff. And I walked there and back.

Have also done the Nell dvd.... only managed 15 minutes the first time, then had a bit of a break (read quite a big break) and did the rest. Constant prancing. Floor may need reinforcing. Gym tomorrow. At least that floor feels solid lol.

Off to OHs sisters tonight and it's been decided we're going to see I Am Legend on Monday night.

Work alarm went off again this morning at 7am thankfully (would have been SO pissed off if it had been any earlier) cos the builders had left a wire dangling. So day started early and am now feeling effects. MUST get washing out of machine and do veg for tonight but I cant be BOTHERED.

Hair really is VERY dark....

Decisions - well, not really decisions tbh, more extra determination re the diet/sizeloss.

And the banghead? Why do people ask for advice and then either totally ignore what you say or pay such little attentiion to you that they go and do it anyway? I give it 2 weeks.

SSSSSSSSSSQQQQQQQQUUUUUUEEEEEEEEE

I'm so overexcited.

Today I went to Next (actually looking for shoes). I came out with a pair of joggers for me to thin into.

I am sat here, wearing them now. They fit.

I'll probably add to this later when I'm not quite so giddy...
-----------
Haircut tomorrow, also I must not go crazy with Next shopping.... I dont understand the sizing though, I'm obviously not a size 20 (tape measure says) yet they do appear to fit....dont think they would if they were jeans though. Just a smidgeon to tight. Anyway, woo!!

NewKitten is being an absolute pain in the arse. Today, she has broken a mirror, knocked a panel out of the kitchen cabinet and jumped up my back - that earnt her a smacked arse.

My thumb is still sore. Will buy some second skin stuff tomorrow.

Also, breaking news, TheEx has been in touch, ironically as I am listening to one of *his* bands albums. Anyway, he wants a divorce and will phone again in a couple of weeks when he sorts out his financial situation. Also tried a few obvious guilt trips, but I ignored them. I know his life hasnt been THAT shit in the 2 years we split up and I managed to get him to admit that it was best we did split up.

Might do a carmen DVD tomorrow, as not going to the gym. Going Sunday instead.

meh, not so positive :rolleyes:

Checked on the scales this morning, had put on 1lb :( But went to the gym again tonight. LazyFriend and I were clearly delirious and spent much of the session in fits of laughter. Especially when I went to do a step up and did a big fart....think we managed to disguise it as the bench squeaking.

Not going to the gym tomorrow, and have the weekend off. Looking forward to getting my hair done Saturday and will gym on Sunday. Due to CPD will have to go to gym Mon thurs and friday cos I'm working the weekend too.

I MUST get off the amazon website. I'm tired, I should go to bed...

positive

But then I have been to the gym twice already this week, am going tomorrow and will probably go Sunday.

Was hard work tonight, but I was with lazymate who bitched and moaned the whole time which I'm sure made it harder work. Very tired now AND havent eaten all points. Having 0point curry tomorrow.

I was thinking tonight, mainly cos my newly uber-thin ( :D :D ) friend came round, just how much better I feel for losing weight. I think more about food and while I do sometimes crave a bacon sandwich, I am able to ignore it...for the most part anyway. I have more energy, I want to do more, I am more organised, because i can be BOTHERED to do it now whereas before I was just too lazy. When I think back to how I was, I get so embarrassed :( I remember being too lazy to walk to the garage (a 5 minute walk,if that) and the food I used to eat, thinking I was being healthy. It's all positive, I just wishwishwish I'd never got to the stage/weight I did.

Fruit epiphany still going well. Had a fatfighters recipe as well tonight - pan fried chicken & bacon. 4 points, very nice. Bulked it out with 0point veg too.

Got a poorly...

Was sat in office this morning, having my (cold) cup of coffee, being as it was the first chance I'd had to actually have it. Heard a big crash from the shop, pondered on whether to ignore it and pretend I hadnt heard it, or to go and investigate.

I investigated and got slashed across the bottom of my thumb for my trouble. Not sure how, as I cant see what I did it on (a rat cage trap) but it's right on the bend, so everytime I move my right thumb - that would be a lot - it reopens. Very sore.

Gymmed tonight, did full program. Takes 1.5 hours. Was very sweaty by end :lol: but did EVERYTHING. Even the plank, and the step ups onto the bench (12). Sat on the boso ball and twisted with a 5kg weight, did 2 reps of 30 and my sides feel it now. Got a funky new sign in system now - all done on finger prints!! Bets on how long it takes before it breaks?

Spoke to a complete numpty at Bayer today....didnt have a clue what she was talking about, but I think we have it sorted now.

I'm so tired. Very chuffed I went to the gym though. Workout was hard work, but wasnt as bad as I was expecting. Bit cross because I ended up on the magically slow treadmill today but upped the speed so I hope I was doing similar. Didnt need to hold on today though till I got tired. Got a sweat on though. Is all good.

MMmmmm, lovely fruit....

Better be bloody lovely and good at fat burning at 7points a serving....

Didnt go to the gym tonight, but did do (the warmup of) Nell McAndrews DVD. I would have done it all, but there was lots of prancing and it sounded like I might go through the floor :unsure: BUT....I did the warm up and wasnt remotely out of breath or sweaty! I believe this is a first.

Absolutely tapped in the head....

I went to the gym AGAIN today. Not only that, I did my arms and core/abs review too (jenny wasnt busy and the gym was empty). MUCH harder work. Slightly confused over the arms I think, especially as I have to go into the boys bit for one of the bars (girls bars only go up to 6kg :blush: ) but i'm sure I'll cope. I ACHE now though.

Dont really have motivation to do much now. Work will hurt tomorrow lol. Not going to gym tomorrow - will be packed and I think I deserve a day off!!

Beginning of March treat can be a new gym kit....I muST be due one by then!!

I fear this may be my last entry....

My gym program today. Had the girl who is LOVELY when just chatting to her about a workout you've just had...when she's doing the program, she's a bitch, I hate her etcetc :lol:

Rower - now have to do 250m in under a minute, 5 times with a 30second rest between them. Treadmill, still intervals... 1min 2% incline, 3.5mph, 3 minutes 6% incline at 4mph and I MUST NOT HOLD ON. so that 5 times each and then the cross trainer, still on level 6, but 30seconds under 50rpm, then a minute at over 60rpm for 5 minutes. I'm still bright red and I came out of the gym nearly an hour an a half ago. Then we did some resistance, instead of doing 3 sets of 15 of squats with the gym ball, I'm to do 2 sets of 15 but hold the squat for a count of 5 each time I go down. Also have to increase the weights on the ab- and aductors. Then I have to use the weights bench for step ups - 6 each side and then lastly stand on the edge of something with my heels hanging off and lift myself up and down. My God I ache now, not sure if it's combined with doing Carmen last night or if it's just a much harder workout LOL. I must be doubly crazy though, cos I've booked in for upper body and core for Wednesday night.

Now I'm writing a shopping list and instead of the curly wurlys and diet coke,I have written flavoured waters and plenty of fruit. Shame I am craving pizza for tea... LOL.

aims and goals....

Well, I've booked my 'getting into the 15's' present...sadly for before February 1st, so must make trebley sure I am Very Good. It's a haircut & colour on the 19th. The one after that (1st march - 15.7) is a Wii game off OH. Am wondering whether to make getting into the 14's my Harvey Nichols makeup make over. I'm not sure.

The 2 B's had a stand up fight in the middle of the shop today, much to my great sadness that as manager I had to break it up and give them both a talking to. OlderB apparently told the other one to 'stop disrespectin me, innit' :bawling: :heehee:

Did Carmen again tonight before the terrors came round (we ended up babysitting, hence the absense from MSN) and I really ache now lol. Tomorrow is New Gym Routine. Bit scared now. Also can't decide if tummy is starting to change shape. No point asking OH - if he thinks it'll make me happy he tells me it's smaller, although he did exclaim tits were bigger tonight, which he qualified with 'pert'. Bigger does not = pert in my book. Besides which, my tits are long past being pert.

Cannot WAIT until the new mattress arrives. Really can't. OH and I have swapped sides in bed cos I was too uncomfortable lol. Slept relatively well last night lol.

DVDs arrived

The Carmen Electra ones. Apparently they're great and a bit like doing LB&T at home.... Lets hope so :lol: Anyway, I'm about to try it.

Work wasnt bad, one of the suppliers was an ARSE and have totally fucked up the order. I was mean.

And (veryveryvery small banana, just in case...) we MIGHT be getting a fairly healthy bonus at the end of the month.

Just as well, cos then I can buy my sparkly Tiffanys bracelet AND get my hair done (MUST book that actually, having it done so I look A OK at the CPD lol - how wrong is that?) Hopefully anyway. must book it for 19th.

Went to gym, knackered now. Good workout, MAY go tomorrow....havent decided yet. Am going on Saturday for another review and will say that I want to concentrate on my tummy and hips.

Who needs enemies....

Still fat, still no size loss, bra too small, fat fat fat

*sigh*

1. I want to go to a gig an hour away, OH doesnt. We argue for a day or so and now the tickets are sold out.

2. I decide I will go alone to a gig 3 hours away, but where a friend is I havent seen for AGES. We plan all sorts of Exciting Activities for the next day. OH gets in a strop because he isnt included (he didnt want to come to the gig originally).

Added to the fact I feel shitty anyway, my DVDs didnt turn up (am actually v upset), I am still :bawling: over not being able to see any size loss.

What to do? Am tempted not to go at all, just go see my mate. But then i'll be fucked off at not going to the gig. But I want to see my mate.

And I'm still fat. I may have lost 5.5stone, but I'm still the same size. Demoralising? You have no idea. I must start saving for the cosmetic surgery.

must stop spending money....

Today I bought a hot pink sports bra, so I can be wearing a gym kit while washing one rather that abusing the same clothes over and over (between washes, natch). Have bought a bra 2 cupsizes smaller than I wear as they didnt do my size. Straw poll of 3 people (lol) all agreed to do that. Now I have spent the money and I cant change the order, I now think I should have gone for 1 cupsize down. Ah well. It'll fit. Eventually.

I MUST stop buying now. I have horrified myself with my shopping this month. Wont afford the work on the house before long.

Gym tonight, seems everyone in town has ChristmasGuilt and there were queues for most of the machines. I ended up doing twenty minutes on the treadmill. First time I went on it, it was soooooo slow and I was congratulating myself on how easy I found things now, until I looked over at the girl next to me, who was easily going twice as fast as me to notice she was allegedly going 3mph when I was doing 4. So I did another 10mins on a different treadmill at the end and yup, I went twice as fast.

Having a night off gym tomorrow night, then going with mate Wednesday.

With any lucky my pornacise DVDs should turn up tomorrow, and I can spend the evening doing that, with OH firmly locked out of the room. Semi thinking about selling my exercise bike. I punished myself so hard with it when I first got it, I havent sat on it for over 6months now, and it is very definately In The Way. Have been going to this gym for 2 months now... Another month and that is when i started to trail off going to the other one - lets see how long this one lasts? It IS easier going to this one, being able to go on my way home, rather than having to make a special trip out.

My new mini-goal with myself is to reach the 15's by February. Must work hard, it's doable (2.5-3lbs a week) but must be disciplined. My points have dropped to 25 now, so should be easier. Should. :unsure:

I'm still fucked off there's no size loss on my tummy/hips. Rah!

May I have a gold star please?

I have been to the gym (FAB time, I was only one there and it was great). Also feel like it's starting to get easier...Maybe time for a review? Or let it be easier a while longer?

Came home (I will admit to driving there and back) and then have spent the afternoon cleaning - the bathroom is spotless and I even mopped the floors and polished the wood.

Having stew tonight - have pointed it for 6 portions, but to be perfectly honest, it looks more like about 8, or even 10 - it's HUGE!!

Back to work tomorrow, but I do have the weekend off. Should be off to the gym tomorrow night as well - I'm determined to get on the door again!!

Regrets?

I've had a few...

1, I wish I had started WW in November 2006, instead of trying on my own. I'd (hopefully) be a couple of stone further on, and as my mother keeps pointing out, I'm not getting any younger.

2, I wish I had never got to this stage in the first place. Told OH today that while I've been together, I have been 22 stone. He almost DIED.

3, I wish I had tried harder, before now, at everything.

4, I wish I wasnt so blase with money.

5, I wish I had tried hard with The Pony.

So there we have it.

However:

1, Despite my best attempts occasionally, I am in rude health.

2, I am trying, not hard enough seemingly sometimes, but I AM trying to lose weight now.

3, Despite not having tried as hard as I could have, I've not done too badly for myself now.

4, I am ALMOST debt free

5, Well...She's in a good home now, and loving her was never my problem.

Then part of me wonders...is it all worth it? TBH, I'm only doing this so I can have pretty wedding pictures and be a normal size. I hope (fingerscrossed) to have kids at some point - I know, I must be crazy... and thats another figure ruiner. Is it worth it? I know it is, but I'm having wine and a 'snot fair' evening.

OH has said he'd buy my some underwear sets in the bravissimo sale (so romantic).... Never thought I'd be the type to have/wear sets... No one looks at it, right? But it feels so much better to be co-ordinating... (Am I destined to be a DQ after all?)

tired and grumpy

Well, there's a turn up, when am I never tired and grumpy...? LOL

Work was ok today, have distinct rumblings of cold (high temp - face looks like a beacon/snotty nose/general meh-ness) so spent much of the day being a warehouse wench. B not in again - has Norovirus apparently and a sicknote to prove it... (I am so cynical - she has holiday booked for next week....last time she had a miscarriage right when she moved house, the time before a bad back when she moved from the flat...)

I must stop spending money, especially while things are bleak moneywise... Today I bought 3 DVDs...2 x carmen electra 'stripercise' (that is going to go wrong...) and 1 x Nell McAndrew one. This is in addition to the three books I bought last night. Still they were in the sale. OH will block Amazon before long lol.

Kittens are being spectacularly irritating tonight...T'OtherOne was sat happily on my chest in the bath, when OH came in, frightened her and she's gouged 2 lines out of my face. Nice. NK is moulting spectacularly. Sebo is going to self destruct soon.

Fat Fighters appears to be going well again - on the scales this morning I was 16.10... On NYD I was 17.6, so have stuck to WWpoints (26) and gone to gym twice...I am on though which would have added 2/3lbs, but still, thats half a stone just by eating more 'portioned' amounts. By 5.30 though I could have MURDERED an almond croissant.

No gym tonight, (being a Warehouse Wench though was some consolation) nor tomorrow (they shut at 4pm/I finish at 5pm) but depending on The Cold Situation, I may go Sunday.

Also being 'ill' may account for my irrational foul mood yesterday? Perhaps? OH seems to have forgotten anyway.

Virtuous

I wasnt going to the gym this morning.

Then about 11am, I was.

By lunchtime it was snowing again so I'd changed my mind again.

I went to the gym. Did my whole program so feeling virtuous but am now super-hungry...OH made a pasta bake but I couldnt eat the cheese so only had half of it :S and my jelly refuses to set now. What can I eat? Bah.

Work not great. Someone pinching out the till again. No suspicions, could be anyone, once again they all have 'reasons' for doing it.

Wish it'd snow properly. I'd love a 'free' day off work.... Bonuses are apparently looking unlikely due to the pinching. If we dont get one I will be FURIOUS. I need that money....

Today I have....

*Been to the Drs and got some antibacterial/steroid cream for my manky leg
*Been to the gym
*Told a member of staff off and made her cry because she did something REALLY fucking stupid over new year and cant see she's done anything wrong
*Am in 8th place in the 'people who go to the gym most' stakes from December!!
*got back on the diet plan.
*resisted chocolate

I was so dispirited in the gym - it was such hard work and there are mirrors everywhere. Still, have just had tea and eaten all my points, and am having the same tomorrow.

Was really busy at work, much busier than we thought we'd be. Went back in the warehouse, it is fun in there.

I have some chocolate coins in front of me, looking at me. I must move them as they are being uber tempting....

Happy new year.... :bawling:

There we go, the cost of Christmas and new year - a stone back on. So this has obviously bodged my aim to have got to goal weight by 1st August. Sigh. Must not be depressed, must just be Very Good instead from now on. I am not going to tantrum (remember yesterdays post....all part of Being Positive from now on).

Now for the measurements. So, first thing on a morning (it's new year, first thing IS half 9) on the first of every month OH will take pictures of me in the same clothes and I will measure and post the results here. This WILL shame me into doing it properly again. Also, I will stand up the whole time.... Sometimes I think I sat while I did various ones and sometimes I didnt.

So. Measurements (inches).
L. calf - 18
R. calf - 17.5
L. thigh - 29.5
R. thigh - 29.5
Hips (inc tummy)- 52
top hips (on bellybutton)- 51.5
waist -43
under boobs - 37
L upper arm - 15
R upper arm - 15

Eeeek, have just checked back on an old blog and the only place I havent put weight on now is my arms. :bawling: Off mattress shopping in a bit, so will see if OH fancies trundling round the big hill. Back to gym tomorrow.

Right... pictures....Have done some bra & knickers pictures too, but they're for when I'm Very Thin and sticking on the fridge.

front
left
back
right

Right, off to buy a mattress now. Wish gym was open :blush:

resolutions, pictures and measurements

I forget when I started out this year at, but think it was about 2.5stone heavier than I am now ( :O how shit does that sound now?)

Was PNMiL's 60th last night, good night...I wore my dress and got some lovely compliments :)

All in all, an odd year. Good though. 2008 will be the year I:

*get thin
*get divorced
*sell my horse
*sort finances out good and proper
*sort teeth out
*be organised.
*not get so stressed by things

OH and I will:
*get planning approved for our house
*get the building work started
*stop arguing over stupid things
*forget we're together at work and behave like Proper People.

Tomorrow starts with the monthly pictures/measurements. Will do them every month on the first day, wearing the same clothes so maybe *I* can see some difference.

MUSTMUSTMUST get back into the idea of fat fighters again, have failed badly so far.

Off to look at mattresses tomorrow. Can't wait, ours is knackered.

Good Christmas but bad now....

Good - loads of lovely materialistic presents, I am now the owner of not one but TWO Radley bags and purses, and lots of other lovely things.

Bad - I have eaten so much, I honestly darent get on the scales. 2....t'other kitten has ganky eyes and her third eyelid is slow to retract, so we're taking her to the vets tomorrow :bawling:

Panicking now, I just hope she's ok. I somehow think that she wont be the easiest to get pills down.

Don't fall in love cos we hate you still

The definitive in Bad Food Days today.

Chocolates, squirty cream, battered sausages and chips for lunch. Chinese takeaway and wine for tea.

Work was shit. If it had been a normal day, with normal amounts of staff on then it would have been a Busy day, but with ALL of us there, well....I probably could have found more to do but I spent most of the day arguing with OH, playing on Facebook and chatting on MSN. Such a good example to set.

I'm feeling :) though as I have managed to pay back a debt which is about 4, maybe five years old, with interest.

Reminising now about bands, back in the day.... :sigh: I miss being 17 sometimes. I do feel old tonight.

busybusybusy

Work has been manic today - got sat down for the very first time at 2.30pm. Still, it's all good, although still no hint of a bonus - I'm still whinging about that. And we're being paid 3 weeks at once tomorrow, so will need to budget properly (I know thats still more often than most people get paid, but I've been paid weekly for the last 2.5 years!!) in order for me not to run out of money.

Went to the gym tonight (although was sorely tempted to give it a miss, was so tired). Am going to go again tomorrow in the day and that will be it till the new year! Must buy a new sports bra - monoboob MINGS. Would really like some new trackie bottoms...but will wait until hips are smaller.

Fat Fighters curry again tonight. I do like it, the raita makes it so much yummier. Shame the raita alone is 4 points though.

I feel like I have so much to do tomorrow, but in reality it boils down to 'go to gym, buy some gift tags, tidy up, do some washing, put tree up'.

Thought of so much to blog earlier. Can I now? Clearly not.

I think I'm getting the hang of this....

Being Organised, that is.

Shame it's so I can be lazy and so all I have to do in the morning is wake up, roll out of bed, get dressed and drink my coffee :rolleyes: Gym bag packed (I feel about 13, saying that) and by my clothes and handbag. Instead of leaving my hair to dry naturally/going to bed with it wet I have dried it. Contemplated straightening it, but suspect that the straightness would have dropped out by morning. Lunch is ready and Fat Fighters pointed. Just need to wrap the last 3 presents, and I'll be so organised even I'll hate me.

Not so good with food today. Well, the sweetie tin was right next to me, and open and it would have been rude not to. Gone over points too, erk. No self control. So I wont have made my personal target of being in the 15's by January. Arse. Nor my target of 3 inches by January :grumps:

Went to gym again tonight. Harder work, but was with Friend and she kept making me laugh. Will go tomorrow and Friday and then I can eat :ahem: slightly more of what I wouldnt normally next week without feeling overly guilty. No chance of getting to the gym over Christmas anyway.

Re ponies.... May go ride the ayrab anyway. Any riding is better than no riding and as I was told -see, I do listen- it will improve core strength etc and can always count towards points. And who knows what might happen?

Fat Fighters curry again for next 2 days to make sure I stay within points. Nearly Christmas though....

Someone tell me what to do...?

Ponies. Again. There's another tantrum incoming.... :rolleyes:

Mentioned to someone who comes into the shop today that I was really missing ponies and I wanted to ride again, did she know what TheLocalRidingSchool was like? Said not to worry about that and to go up to hers and she would teach me if I wanted. She's nice, but pikeyish in a posh way (if that makes sense) and I dont *quite* trust her. Nothing I can put my finger on, but on the face of things I do like her.

Then someone else came in, said dont go to her, she wins, she looks successful but only ever buys ponies someone else has brought on for her, so looks more accomplished than she is. Still with me? They suggested AnotherRidingSchool. Now, I've seen 2 riders from there and 1 horse. Neither rider is a good advert and neither was the horse. But I would normally trust his opinion.

So I may just give up all ideas of riding again until I'm 14 stone (April, May time?) and go to TheLocalRidingSchool before maybe thinking of one on loan again. I've been thinking about having a horse again - part of me is convinced if I am better with my money this time around (you know, budget...) and maybe get a sharer then things would all be ok. But with that, the extension/redecorating etc... I can just see myself having to sell/give back before long. And what if I have another crisis of confidence?

Have been good today, only half a chocolate chip shortbread biscuit - gave it back cos it really didnt taste how it looked, and have turned down all Bad Things at work :D AND been to the gym. Going again tomorrow. Accidentally had the work setting on the treadmill on 90seconds so got off rather red faced, but feel ok.

It's nearly Christmas, I cannot wait....

As predicted....

4lbs on :bawling: Hopefully that fact I'm so upset and annoyed will mean I can get back on track this week. Will have Fat Fighters curry tonight and tomorrow.

Although.... I've eaten chocolate all week, had that bacon sandwich on Friday, 2 ham sandwiches and a big meal and 1.5 bottles of wine Saturday night, then half a bottle of champagne, roast lamb and nibbly bits last night. So it's obvious why I've gained, it just pisses me off that I'm playing catch up this month.

I know it's my own fault. Will be going to the gym today, either on my own or with S, asked her to text me and let me know what she was planning. Sadly I've lost my phone, so I have no idea whats happening at the minute.

Alarm for work went off twice last night, false alarm both times.

Must get myself motivated, lots to do today, including a waitrose trip (again...). Must get OHs presents wrapped too. Got most of them done yesterday, just his mums to wrap for the 'not us' people. Cats were a major irritant, might lock them in the bathroom today lol.

So cross with myself. I feel guilty too....when the first alarm went off, I sent a text to everyone saying 'please please please dont put things on the bins when you bring in....They drop and it sets the alarm off. Thankfully it was now [6pm] and not 3am when I would have been REALLY cross lol! Well done for a great weekend though everyone, see you Tuesday' and got no response at all from 2 of them and a shitty one off the third. I did text round again pointing out I wasnt getting at anyone, and I was proud of everyone for the way they've worked this weekend, but still. We have asked them not to do it. Anyway, is all redundant cos it turns out that the alarm sensor isnt working. Fabulous. Can't find my phone though for a second apology :rolleyes:

Ah well, must shift the lardy arse. You know, do something...on my third day off and havent acheived anything.

Bollocks to Fat Fighters

I've given up for this month, I have no self control at all.

Last night was great, ended up getting drunk - nicely drunk, not like last time - remembered my make up and got loads of lovely comments! Was a lovely night.OH and I went up to the hill afterwards.

Got up this morning and wandered down to the farmers market - wore the pink Joules jacket I bought ages ago and then have never worn because it was tight round my tummy. Well, it's still tight, but not so tight I was embarrassed to go out in public in it! Saw a really lovely mounted photo of SmallTown, taken from where we were last night, so have bought it for OH as it's our 2 year anniversary today. Also saw a gardening kit so got that for OHs mum for either her birthday or Christmas.

Really should start wrapping presents and not be playing on Facebook.

Definately a gaining week

Went to town (inc gym, yay me), but also went to the butchers for ham for OH. Couldnt resist a hot ham sandwich. Then I got home and couldnt resist a ham & pie d'angloys sandwich....And then theres the meal (and alcohol...) tonight. :sigh:

Have done bugger all, all day and it's been fab. Just need a way for tummy to unbloat ready for The Dress. Typical.

Also have to attempt false nails again. could be, um, a disaster.

At least I wont get so pissed I'll forget my make up this time.

Really shitty day

Today really shows why I ended up at the weight I did. Really am in the Food-Horrors now.

It didnt start so well when I didnt get to sleep till gone midnight. Then another call from the alarm at 3.03am. Again a false alarm, but the engineer didnt get out till 4am so by the time he had sorted everything and signed the job off etc it was 5am. Made the fatal mistake of going back to bed when we got home and now feel, I'm sure, a billion times worse.

Then, to make a shitty day just that bit worse, we had Pedigree, 15 pallets of horse feed and 5 pallets of SEJ in today. Plus the normal shop busy-ness.

So, um, I've eaten. Had a bacon, egg, mushroom and brown sauce sandwich at breakfast (the best thing I think I've eaten in MONTHS), then chocolates, biscuits, crumpets (I've sent OH on a SmallTown wide search for Warburtons crumpets - must be Warburtons)all in addition to my lunch and tea. Am craving chinese takeaway but OH has refused.

My SS present turned up this morning. Not quite what I expected. Have inadvertently bought a grotty old LP. Oops.

Also having wine tonight. Supreme lack of self control and I will be furious on Monday when I dont lose much, but right now, I dont care.

still podged

Dont think I'll hit my target of being in 15's by January 1st. Bullied OH into agreeing to take pictures of me every month, wearing the same clothes each time. Maybe then I might see some difference?

Gym tonight, was HARD work. Dont think I did the squats properly, or the situps really and I did the upper body perhaps too quick to really work. Dont know why it was such hard work, wasnt especially busy really. Going to be a Warehouse Wench again tomorrow, more exercise, weee! Still undecided about going to the gym or not. Will see how I feel, then maybe go Saturday if I dont go tomorrow night.

Cant believe it's nearly Christmas. I dont feel festive at all. Am going to be caught out....All presents are bought, but no cards. Who will bet I'll either write them in a panic Christmas Eve, or just not bother?

Just weighed FatKitten. He really is a fatboy....13lbs. Must be all the kitten food he is pilfering. T'Other one is quite happy eating HIS breed specific food so what do you do? :lol:

Off out for a meal on Saturday night, which I am perfectly sure will end up being a drunken night out. Thankfully not in Leeds and I shant be allowed to be an Embarrassment like I was at the party the other week.

Credit cards mostly working today. CCMan had bought his airgun, so when one of The Staff broke my coffee mug [fuming] I brandished it crazily (the safety was on....) then in a moment of utter boredom - no jobs, customers, anything, I took it outside and shot some old paint tins. I REALLY WANT ONE. I suspect I may end up being inadvertently dangerous though.

Just finished reading a book about armed police. Part of me would LOVE the 'coolness' of being able to shout 'ARMED POLICE! Put the gun down, motherfucker!' while the other part is in real awe of what they do. Book was fascinating. The courage they have is mindblowing.

There was biscuits and Haribo at work today. This is why I fear for my target :rolleyes:

Podged

Fat Fighters curry :hail: Just as well, as I ODd on the chocolate orange sweets the Hills rep brought. No gym tonight as I became a Warehouse Wench with W today as he had a few big deliveries to do. Was knackered and stripped down to only 3 layers.

Architect came this morning. Very positive, didnt think we'd have a problem with planning and gave us a good idea about maximising space in the upstairs bedroom and hopefully not losing too much space in total.

Work wasnt too bad. Man from computer systems came in, broke the credit card machines then buggered off, and then made me stay 2 hours after we'd closed in order to fix it. Coming back tomorrow. More hassle.

Part of me hopes we stay this busy (had lunch at 4.30) the other is desperately spinking for new staff in the new year.

Feel fat tonight. And tired. Architect also said we shouldnt have a problem with the planning - yay!

sleeeeeppppppyyyyyyy

Who needs kids? Cats woke us up again about 4am. So now I am vvvv tired.

Am struggling now with Fat Fighters, I think. I can't decide if it's cos its December and I'm surrounded by Christmas temptation, the novelty has finally worn off, or the diminishing points are starting to show but it's been really really hard. I've been so hungry the past 2 weeks and it's HARD.... Bah.

So, worked today, kept busy...Had a managers meeting...think we were all secretly hoping that we'd be getting a christmas bonus extra to the one we're on target for in January, but no go. Was counting on it too :( Not much else said really....felt a bit of a waste of time. Went to the gym afterwards and did full program. Yawned most of my way round. Going to have a night off tomorrow.

Architect coming round tomorrow morning so have had a super quick tidy up. Still looks a tip.

Nothing else to say really. Buit of a nothing day. Hungry which isnt helping (and yes, I've had my tea and there has been more creative pointing as well).

Gold Stars

I have finally discovered how to get The Staff to work! Slightly wrong in that they're all over 18 and are being conned into working with the promise of gold stars and a tickable sheet of Things to Do. Has worked today. Who am I to argue? Lets see how it works in a few weeks.

Weigh in today - had put on 4lbs from yesterday, but as I had a somewhat abrupt wake up call ('Are you a keyholder for FBs work?' 'yes' 'Your intruder alarm is going off!') I leapt onto the scales, did the WI then ran. Well. Drove. A jumper had fallen off the lockers. So I've been at work since 7am.

So, work went well, everyone nice and busy. A nice lady asked to speak to the vet, bless her, she meant me. AMTRA really need to employ some more approachable staff, but never mind.

Gym tonight, did full program. Was much easier than Friday, but never mind. Still struggle on the arms and squats, although I *was* admiring how thin my legs looked as I did the squats. And I think I might be seeing some definition in the old arms. That obviously could be delusion, but I live in hope.

Half a bottle of wine tonight, creatively pointed so to enable it, but it's all good. Must be good this week though. I so want to lose weight and be in the 15s by new year. How about that? start the new year 5 stone less than I started it. Thats something I didnt think I'd be saying now.

Facebook is addictive. Am doing a FIENDISHLY difficult puzzle. Oh how the might have fallen, I used to be quite cool once....

Ressurected

I am the resurrection and I am the light
I couldnt ever bring myself to hate you as Id like

Been a long time. Am shocked I remembered not only the password but also the log in.

Am still a member of FatClub and till now has been going well. I'm blaming Christmas and the resulting food/free stuff off reps. Have now lost 5 stone 10lbs since November last year. By August 1st 2008 I will (I will!) have lost 11stone. Half my bodyweight.

So whats changed since I last blogged.... I have new Uber-Job, still in the same place but am now one of the managers (M1 :cough: left). I still have tantrums daily about how unfair it all is.

I still whinge and moan that I'm not losing size quick enough. Going to the gym lots at the minute though.

The pony is almost-sold. She should belong to her new owner in the new year... and then will fund the house extension. Sigh. Grown up things. I cant wait till I get to 13stone and can ring up about riding lessons and start again.

Must buy christmas cards...

Poor ignored blog....

Went to Harrogate today, bought lots of Lush stuff, some books and magazines, a card for Chris' dad and some weight watchers scales. Have stuck to it - ish for last 3 days...Portion sizes are slightly ambiguous though so am not sure if I'm doing it right. We're having pizza and garlic bread for tea, which I am desperate for!! But is 21 points of my 28 :S so have had cereal and tomatoes to eat today. Scales are very cool though. Were £60 reduced to £40 in Argos, so had them. Measures BMI, body water, body fat and age...Can have a password on it so Chris wouldnt be able to see my weight....Measures the oz's too, so will see any teeny bits of weight loss that happen!!

Am starving...am dreaming about this pizza...

My head hurts

Oppsy....Didnt think I was THAT drunk last night.

Anyway. Day one of FatClub. Yesterday has already put me 7.5points over my weekly total :S. New weigh in day is now Mondays. Am going to have breakfast this morning, despite the fact I feel sick :S but have just done half an hour on the bike.

Been looking at FC site - by the looks of things I should only do 6points worth of evercise a week...My cycling was 2.5 :unsure: Was planning on going to the gym tonight...Perhaps it was a day. (edit - was wrong on all counts...daily exercise allowance is 4 points. hmm)

I really do feel poorly this morning. Was up and wide awake at 5am which I'm sure won;t have helped.

Just eating cornflakes...30g is MINISCULE. Would appear my previous cereal bowls have been about 100g...Hence about 400calories! Oops.

Food: crunchy nut cornflakes, semi skimmed milk, salad (ham/mozzerella/salad cream), french fries, 2 bananas, beef stew

Exercise: 30mins (300 calories) on bike

what Have I done...

Have just joined FatClub online....Decided it was slightly less drastic (and cheaper) than Lipotrim. Also subscribing to the magazine. To celebrate am eating badly and drinking wine.

Food: 1 slice toast, 3 ham & pie d'angloys sandwiches, 1 muller light crunchy corner, packet french fries, pasta & carbonara sauce, homemade garlic ciabatta, half a bottle rose wine

Exercise: none

Lipotrim

http://www.lipotrimburnley.co.uk/getting_started.htm

:bawling:

I am SO going to get sacked soon. SAGE is just going straight in one ear and out the other.

M2 and SC I'm convinced are now having an affair...apparently she was sending him rude pics during work on Friday and was getting some off him in return!!! Ick, the thought is foul...I actually dont know how anyone can find her attractive. She has bad teeth, never washes, greasy hair, is just plain dirty, neglects her pets which she proclaims to love so much, is also seeing jack again I found out today...Told M2 and he looked like I'd hit him :unsure:

So, with SC allegedly on holiday, but still coming in, NotSoLovelyM being an arse and complaining and also has Nod in to see me, MrD is getting stroppy as nothing ever really goes his way bless him and I am finding it hard to cope with everything.

Food: 3 slices toast, 1 ham & pie d'angloys baguette, 1 ham & pie d'angloys sandwich, bag of Aero bubbles, packet French Fries, healthy eating muller corner, 4 fingers shortbread, half a small toberlone bar, 2 rectangles clotted cream ice cream, pilau rice, limey chicken, home made garlic ciabatta

Exercise: swimming (40 lengths)

Bad, foul, grumpy mood

Raaahhh!!

LovelyM has very quickly become UnLovelyM since he & Nod have been together. He is irritating, completely lovestruck and impossible to get to do anything. I wouldnt mind so much if he actually did some work, but....he really didnt. RAAAAAAH.

Have been so pissed off have eaten lots too. Oh well.

Came off period today, and still same weight so dreams of bleeding for a month then losing 10stone are wildly unreachable. Seems like Pill may have had nothing to do with it.

So tired, has been a really muggy hot close day which wont have helped my mood. Forklift training was cancelled cos man had kidney infection :(

Food: hot ham & crackling sandwich, strawberry bun, 2 slices salami & pie d'angloys, 4 jam tarts, 1 chicken & salad sandwich, french fries, muller crunchy corner yoghurt, 2 ham & pie d'angloys sandwiches, lots of Lindt chocolate, 1 almond croissant, raspberries

Exercise: Nothing

hmmmmm

Tired, unmotivated and eating already. Havent weighed myself, dont dare lol. Really need to keep thinking about the online stuff but...so tired... The Hickstead Derby is on later, can't wait to see it. I may even go back to bed....

Entertained ideas of going to the gym for about 5 minutes, then decided against it and thought I might just use my pilates rowing thing, the bike, sit up machine and spinny thing (all of which I have ignored recently..) while watching the Derby. Then S texted and asked if I wanted to go to the yard & gym later. So I did. Lunged her horse for a bit (I havent lunged for over a year :eek: !!!) then off we went to Aireborough....Didnt do a full programme. Straight onto the x-trainer for 15 minutes on level 7, then some weights...I did the leg weights pushing in I did 50kg and pushing out I did 40kg, so might start doing them all the time, also did seated row, arm press and leg press, then onto the treadmill for another 15minutes. At least I went...!!

Got back in time for the highlights of the whole Derby meeting, so did washing up, hoovering etc and finished just in time to sit in front of the Derby with my lunch. Simple things...

Food: 1 big bowl crunchy nut cornflakes, 2 ham & pie d'angloys sandwiches, 1 muller healthy corners yoghurt, roast chicken, mashed potatoes, yorkshire puddings, green beans, carrots, gravy, cranberry sauce, orangey solero ice cream, 1 jam tart.

Exercise: Gym

Fat Day

:thud: I managed to do the banking AND sheets AND SAGE with minimal mistakes and help! Weeeee!!

Hugely busy at work, was allegedly my first day as 'alone manager' but M3 was hovering. Must ask to be told when I'm going to magically know when orders are coming in.

Going to see Selfish N tonight...she rang as I walked in the door and I wasnt quick enough to come up with an excuse :S Also let slip I wasnt working tomorrow, so no doubt she will invite herself over/I'll have to do something for her...I wanted to watch the Derby... Will be nearly a year since Lily died.

Food: 2 x portions lasagne, half a portion chip shop chips, 1 muller light, 1 strawberry bun, maltesers, 1 ham & pie d'angloys sandwich, garlic bread, 1 J20, 2 hot chocolates

Exercise: nothing. MAY go to gym tomorrow before the Derby...

O....M....G

Apparently M2 & SC have been texting each other naked pictures all day :eek: Not entirely sure I believe it, but....Crazy.

Convinced myself I wasnt going to the gym tonight, but then, having eaten tea and had half a bottle of wine I went after all....

Not a bad day really, SAGE really winding me up. I cannot grasp it at all. Work in general is a bit weird.... I dont really feel I 'belong' in the shop anymore,yet I definately dont belong in the office either...

Food: banana, 2 ham & pie d'angloys sandwiches, fruit corner, french fries, lasagne, salad & salad cream, garlic ciabatta, skinny cow ice cream

Exercise: Gym

Hmmm

Maybe I will stop being an impulsive drama queen for a week or so.... I have come on today, so will either have huge weight loss, or nothing because it wasnt the pill/lack of periods make me stay the same weight.

So, I dont know. Maybe I am just destined to be fat and ugly forever :sad: especially as I am troughing more now...

Food: 3 ham & pie d'angloys sandwiches, grapes, french fries, muller light, homemade pizza, homemade garlic bread, 1 chocolate chip muffin

Exercise: nothing

Hmmmm

Now what to think? No loss this week, but OTOH, considering what I was on Saturday, the fact it isnt a huge great big gain is very definately Something To Shout About. But I'm not, I'm still gutted. Won't be happy now till I'm VV.7...

Banking/Sage etc seems to be going in better. Have till Saturday. No further on on the online stuff. OH has taken it over :nod: :grumps:

Eaten LOADS today :biggrin:

Food: Aero bubbles, 1 banana, lots of grapes, some chicken breast, some ham & mozzerella, 3 ham & pie d'angloys sandwiches, 1 muller fruit corner, packet french fries, pasta and carbonara sauce, 1 solero ice cream, half a bottle piat d'or

Exercise: 40lengths swimming

Banking Banking Banking

Went in one ear and out the other. One day, in about 3 years, it will make sense. Possibly.

Food: 1 ham & pie d'angloys sandwich, 1 ham/mozzerella/salad cream salad, french fries, muller light, garlic ciabatta, bolognese sauce, pasta, parmesan, Muller Corner Healthy Balance

Exercise: Hmmm, Either I lost count and 'gained' some lengths or I speeded my swimming up a lot looking at the time it took. So, either 68 lengths or 72. Either way, for the first time in god knows how long, over a mile.

Mmmm, Radley purse....

I had to get up early, just so I could look at it and stroke it :wub:

My hip/outside of right leg aches ever so much atm :S And I really must stop being a hormonal, depressed witch. OH will end up leaving me and it will be my own stupid fault.

Road outside work is flooded, road is closed but everyone just going round the blocks anyway.

Food: 1 ham & pie d'angloys sandwich, 1 ham & pie d'angloys baguette, grapes, almond croissant, 3 cranberry & white chocolate butter cookies, 1 muller light, 2 bowls pork stew with mozzerella, apple and mint sauce and bread.

Exercise: 40 lengths in swimming pool

Useful website

cerazette post

Hope admin emails me back with how to join - I cant see the codes you need to join, so have emailed them

Bankrupt

:eek:

Just back from shopping at the White Rose centre with OHs sister. It is a close run thing as to who spent the most...I think I *just* won though.

I bought:
A nightie for E's birthday
A pencil case for L's birthday
5 pairs of knickers from La Senza (I must have a pair for every day of the month now...They were on 5 for £10)
2 tops from Evans
1 pair of shoes, ballet style, with crystals on
1 necklace
1 computer game for OH
A set of bed sheets
Some body butter, lip balm and exfoliating gloves from Body Shop (no Lush :bawling:)
AND
:blush: A pink one of these

A good day, but to say I've done 'nothing', I'm really tired! Not to mention skint now...

Food: 1 ham & pie d'angloys sandwich, 1 smoothie, 1 ham and salad sandwice, 1 slice carrot cake, 1 large yorkshire pudding, filled with Pork stew. 3 spoons apple & mint sauce

Exercise: shopping...

Thank you and goodnight

Nearly back at XX stones now. :bawling:

Food: 1 ham & pie d'angloys baguette, 1 bowl lamb stew with 2 slices brown bread and mint sauce. Going out tonight. deep fried garlic mushrooms, missippi chicken and chips (brown, sweet sauce) and half of OHs hot fudge cake and my toffee sundae, 1 bottle white wine.

Exercise: None.

Still Fat

And now podged and sleepy too.

Been to gym and increased reps so am at 3 sets of 10 now. I am KNACKERED. Wondering whether or not to join a diet club (online, natch).

Food: 2 x helpings lamb stew, 4 slices brown bread, salad (ham, mozzerella, salad cream), quavers, french fries, boost bar, yoghurt drink

Exercise: Gym

:bawling:

How on EARTH did that happen? :bawling: Have put on half a stone since yesterday morning :eek: How?! Seriously??? Absolutely gutted doesnt even begin to describe it. Am semi thinking about going back to the Drs.

Not a great day, M was being irritating. SC amazingly just kept her head down and got on with work :thud: M2 was out in van and M3 busy in office. I now have my own keys, cashed up both the tills and set the alarm. Yay me.

Gym was busy tonight, upped the cross trainer a level so am now on level 7 and managed 2minutes on treadmill at incline:6 and speed:6. Half considering doing 3 reps of 10 on the weight machine things now. Starting to get easier.

Food: ham/mozzerella/salad cream salad, French Fries, maltesers, half a salami and emmental sandwich, 1 croissant, pork, mashed potato, yorkshire puddings, green beans, carrots, 2 teaspoons apple sauce, gravy

Exercise: Gym.

slowly going down....

So much for my aim of losing 3lbs a week! So far I've lost 2lbs in 2weeks. Still, at least it's going down. Must stay positive.

Huge thunder and lightning at 3am, so was awake for an hour or so. Was right overhead for ages. NeedyKitten was astounded.

----

Started the discussions...seems new website isnt being launched till March which reassures me slightly. What with owners announcements that M2, M3 and me had till August to impress him, I was getting a little worried that he would be expecting something by September at the latest. Thankfully I was wrong! Also need to come up with a name. This has also shocked me - rather assumed it would just be 'FatBloaters Work Websites Online Shop'....

Felt really shit just after lunch. Speech went...odd...eyesight blurred and I started to shake. Didnt feel right all afternoon really but by 5pm-ish I felt ok. Havent gone swimming. Not only was OH preturbed by shakey fit, there is also the bike race in the town, so hell on earth to get through. Plus the alarm wouldnt set (great - the first time I ever set it, it shags up) so we didnt get home till 7.30pm. D thinks its cos I havent had a day off for ages. He could be right. Was quite shocked though to notice that I only have 2 more days until my weekend off. Feels like forever.

I feel a bit crap now, tbh, but think its cos I'm just podged. Hope it thunders again...Just not enough to wake me up this time. In fact, I hope it thunders while we're at work tomorrow.

Nan seems better, should be out of hospital on Friday.

Food: homemade garlic bread, pasta, carbonara sauce, 1 almond croissant, 1 plain croissant, 1 ham & pie d'angloys ciabatta, salad (ham/salad cream/mozzerella), French Fries (6 precious calories less than Quavers!) and a packet maltesers, half bottle Echo Falls.

Exercise: Nothing :S

Tomorrow the online stuff starts being planned for real. I still don't know where to start.

Iffy day at work. Did lots but not very much at all. Learnt the banking, it's all done on SAGE but it went in one ear and out the other.

Planned to eat cereal for tea, but was so hungry by the time I finished swimming we're having chicken and garlic bread instead. Was fun going with S - she made me swim quicker I'm sure and it didnt seem to take nearly as long as it does when I go on my own.

Things to think about stocking online: Kookamunga catnip, better cat toys (Ancol?), blingy collars and leads...Maybe use staff pets? NeedyKittens favourite product is...: etc. Need to work out how to sell wormers etc too. So badly want this to be a success.

Food: 1 bowl fruit and fibre, half a slice toast, 1 ham and pie d'angloys sandwich, ham/mozzerella/salad cream salad, 2 slices bread, 1 mini Yorkie, packet maltesers, quavers, limey chicken, homemade garlic bread, 1 skinny cow ice cream

Exercise: 40 lengths in pool

Your diet will crush me....

Still no loss....please don't tell me I have to wait another 4months... :unsure:

My aim of losing 3lbs a week until Christmas is long by the wayside....2 weeks in and I already need to lose 6lbs in order to keep up with that.

NeedyKitten went to the vets tonight for his booster jabs, spent the whole time in his carrier eyeballing everyone, then when the vet dealt with him, glared at her too. Was a good boy though, let her check everything, had his jab, then slunk back into his carrier....Doesnt seem to have upset him much now he's home.

Really must start thinking properly about this online thing...First meeting is Wednesday and all I've done is think about what colour laptop I'm going to get (being fobbed off with the old crap one at work :red-flap: ) and which sites I like the look of. Thats it. I have no idea where to start.

No exercise today, other than work... Kept busy though. SC is back and has managed to acquire a sick note, saying she'd had a miscarriage. Feel a bit shit now, but...I guess you have to know her to understand my reservations. She tried being all sad and snivvelly till about 10am, when she realised no one was paying her the blindest bit of attention and she suddenly cheered up.

Food: salad (ham/mozzerella/salad cream), quavers, packet planets, 2 mini Yorkies :blush: , pasta & carbonara sauce, garlic bread, 2 Go Ahead plain yoghurt breaks (72 calories each)

Exercise: nothing

hot and tired

Don't know why - its been a nice day, not too manic at work, no idiots....SC is back tomorrow, after her 'miscarriage' during which she coincidentally happened to move house....Last time she moved house, she had a bad back. Cynical, moi?

Had a lazy day really in the shop. Didnt go swimming this morning, just couldnt motivate myself, but went to the gym instead this evening. Was nice....Not many people in and the ones who were in were just quietly doing their stuff, and not making big deals about how much they were lifting etc.

Tomorrow I get to find out what my new job actually entails...And by 1pm, the owner will too. He will be constantly popping down to make sure everything is as it should be from now on too :wibble:

My tummy really hurts :S And also my Nan is in hospital....

Food: 4 squares tear and share, small ham & pie d'angloys baguette, ham/mozzerella/salad cream salad, quavers, 1 oatmeal & sultana cookie, some of OHs toffee cookie, packet maltesers, toad in the hole, mashed potato, green beans, carrots, mint sauce

Exercise: Gym - full work out

I wanna be so skinny....

No fucking wonder I'm not losing weight. I can't stop eating and I SWEAR my tits are getting bigger :bawling:

Was meant to be going out for a meal tonight, but M had knocked the alarm, buggered it up and OH had to wait for the alarm people to come out to him. They arrived at 7.45. Our table was booked for 7.30. We could still go out, just, but neither of us are really in the mood now.

Pissed off with everything and still having a confidence crisis. Where the hell do I start with setting up a business?

Food: 2 squares tear and share, 1 strawberry bun, half a mini muffin, half a slice of cake, some mouthfuls of lasagne, porridge, muller light, quavers, 2 ham and pie d'angloys baguettes, 1 HUGE Waitrose chunk of shortbread and chocolate chips, pasta, cheese sauce, sausages, peas

Exercise: Nothing

:bawling: :bawling: and also....oh, shit

Remember months ago I said I wanted a baby? Then I thought I was pregnant and I realised I didnt want one after all...? Well, M1 has finally been sacked, so not only do I now have the online business as my 'baby', I now have the new job title of 'Duty Manager'.... Which, obviously I am super-excited about but am also having a huge crisis of confidence. The online store is a HUGE thing....If it takes off I will look amazing, have loads of bonuses, be Best Girl etc, but if it all goes tits up, there will be questions as to WHY and HOW I fucked up. Thats without all the muttering that I only got the 2 of them with OH/M3's help....

Tried to go to the gym today, but was thwarted by traffic, flooding and roadworks. Took half an hour to get from home to Waitrose - I could have walked there quicker - OH wanted me home by 9pm and as it was getting on for 8pm and I like to be at the gym for hour & a half I decided I may as well just come home. Still don't know why traffic was so horrific.

I am having a down day anyway... I checked my tape measurements today. If I haven't stayed the same on stuff I have gained inches. How? :( :bawling: This is since March. Maybe I need to go back to the Drs and talk properly with them?

Food: Quavers, slice of Power Rangers cake, 1 mini muffin, 1 ham & pie d'angloys baguette, Lasagne, salad, garlic bread, salad cream, 3 Kiplings Mini apple pies, vanilla custard, half a bottle Tattinger

Exercise: nothing.

Thursdays post....

Owner has officially asked me to do the online business today :biggrin: 'Interview: went... Owner: I assume M3 has mentioned the online thing.... me: yep Owner: You up for it? Me: yep Owner: Cool. :lol: Have started collecting catalogues already :lol: Also looking at laptops....well I'll NEED one now, won't I? ;)

Not a bad day, unmotivated at work, although I have bought a gym ball to do sit ups on. Now just need to try and blow the damned thing up. M2 said he would bring his football pump tomorrow.

It's ex's birthday tomorrow.

Knackered now, went to the gym straight from work which was BUSY. Remembered why I leave it an hour or so, then go. S's boyfriend/not boyfriend was a dick so we came out earlier than *I* really wanted...only 5minutes or so, but....that could have been my weightloss 5minutes!

Food: 1 slice toast & margerine, 1 muller light, 1 bowl oatiflakes, some grapes, 1 banana, ham/mozzerella/salad cream salad, quavers, 2 bowls crunchy nut cornflakes, 250ml B&J Caramel Chew Chew icecream :blush:

Exercise: My gym. 29minutes treadmill, 18mins cross trainer, 10mins rower then the weights.

Slightly late....Wednesday

Only 1lb gone, so already way off my target of losing 3lbs a week :heehee: Oh well. Maybe I'll be thin by NEXT December. :rolleyes:

Was babysitting last night, hence being a day late blogging. I love babysitting those kids. They sit and play on the X-Box till we say bedtime, then they run upstairs, clean their teeth and go straight to bed. I was never that good.

Me and OHs sister are going shopping next Sunday - eek!! Never spent a huge amount of time together and never 'alone'! (Although I dunno if the kids will be coming with us...)

Bit of an update on Work Situation....Well. I don't know what to do now. Have been offered the online shop as MY baby, to set up, keep running, just run entirely.... It is an Opportunity and I suspect is linked to me telling Owner that what I was doing now was my first 'management' role. Payrise (almost, but not quite the Original Payrise apparently), bonuses over and above what everyone else gets if it does well, am to ignore M1 totally when he chunters about it (he's coming back on Monday) and go to M3 or Owner. I think I am officially being offered it on Friday. Oh, and I am being booked to do my AMTRA conversion exam on 10th September.

Food: half bag Planets, half bag buttons, some pepperami, ham/mozzerella/salad cream salad, quavers, yoghurt, 1 slice garlic bread, pasta and bolognese sauce, half a garlic ciabatta, 1 and a half rocky bars.

Exercise: Half hour cardio at the gym with S (10mins rower, 5mins sitdown bike, 5mins treadmill, 10mins cross trainer).

Hmmmm

:scratchchin: SC has lost the baby. Isn't it awful that I am not surprised and that it's all rather convenient.... She can't come back to work though until Saturday, as she still needs tests... *shrug* Apparently on Sunday though, she could feel the baby moving and when it rested on her bladder, she needed to go wee right there and then! Her mother has bought her a maternity top :rolleyes: apparently she was wearing it all yesterday.

Work was a bit shit today, no motivation. Nothing heard from M1 handing this contract thing in to Owner.Doubt will hear anything now till Friday.

Bad food day, especially considering tomorrow is Weigh Day and those lbs that had melted off on Saturday are back again :( However, I got told today by someone I used to be on the same yard as when I had the Pony that I had lost LOADS of weight! Result! Sadly since I last saw her, I know I've put it on, but still, it was nice to hear.

My friend lost her horse today :bawling: He was one of the coolest horses I've ever sat on and *I* am sat here :bawling: too, so God only knows how she is. I'm so so so so sorry E, I know I keep saying that, but I can't tell you enough how sorry I am.

Food: 1 strawberry bun, some spicy chicken breasts, half a packet maltesers, half a mini muffin, ham, mozzerella, salad cream salad, quavers, muller light, tea is pasta and cheese sauce with homemade garlic bread.

Exercise: 46lengths swimming, 120 situps

Oh....My....God.....

SC is pregnant. Apparently the announcement is coming tomorrow, but S told me this morning. It's going to be a Nightmare. Suddenly she will be too faint to work, too full of morning sickness, oooh, I can't carry this 1kg bag, it might hurt the baby.... Half of me doesnt believe she's pregnant and will 'miscarry' before too long. How awful is that? OTOH, Shes thought it was funny that she kept forgetting to take her pill for so long, I'm really not surprised. I pity her OH though, he only asked her to marry him cos she was so persistant. Suddenly he has a mortgage, they're getting married and having a baby...all within 4months!

It's M1's (allegedly) final meeting tomorrow. He'll be coming back, I'm sure of it, so that, combined with SCs pregnancy....Sigh. Whats the job centre site again?

Havent been able to get going at all today. Woke up at 4.30am, wide awake, stayed in bed with the intention of getting up around 6.30ish to get on the bike and do my sit ups but the next time I woke up was 7.50! Oops.

Got some Cortaflex HA today to see if it helps my shoulder any. People are starting to comment on the noises and 'shapes' it makes under my T Shirt :lol: Half hope it works, half hope it doesnt - £20 a month :eek:

Those lbs that appeared to have melted off on Saturday are back again with a vengance :( Maybe I was wrong to come off the Pill.

Food: porridge, handful blue/rasp/strawberries and a banana, quavers, cherry & almond slice, 2 lemon tarts, 1 almond croissant, 1 beef, mint sauce & lettuce baguette, 1 ham & pie d'angloys baguette, 1 pint Pimms

Exercise: 20mins (200calories) on bike, 120 situps

Slow Day

I don't really feel like I've woken up all day... Swimming was HARD, a real struggle today. Been fairly steady at work, but mainly people needing stuff weighing out, although we had a few idiotic customers. The amount of people who don't realise that using someone elses credit card is called STEALING....

Off to a BBQ tonight at OHs SiLs. Can't especially say I'm looking forward to it..... Not eating as we have roast beef here to eat.

Food: Ham/mozzerella/coleslaw salad, muller light, quavers, half a galaxy bar, half a banana, 2 lemon tarts, roast beef, boiled potatoes, green beans, yorkshire puddings, carrots, gravy, mint sauce, 2 glasses white wine, greek yoghurt, handful blue/rasp/strawberries

Exercise: 44lengths in swimming pool, 120 sit ups, 20mins on bike
----
Back from the BBQ. Am considered rude cos I didnt eat as I said we had tea ready at home :unsure: They only old us about it at 3pm!! Anyway, not eating till 10pm now. Was ok, kids appeared to have a good time. it bothers me that I am the 13th person....

Maybe I needn't have come off the pill :S

Full of Cold

Was mildly entertaining ideas of going to the gym today as day off, but think I shall just do a load of housework instead....I say that, yet I am still sat here at the computer screen. I'm not full of cold yet, but it won't be long...sore throat this morning, headache, achey all over, tickly nose....Joy. It's been at least 3 months since I last had a cold though.

Have just texted SC to apologise for snapping at her yesterday. I still think she was being ridiculous but...I was starting to feel guilty. Arse. No reply yet, but then she is probably still festering in her horrid, mouldy bed. (Sadly, I'm not lying.) Wish I was going to Bramham :( Have no money to go though, I could have walked the XC course instead of doing housework/the gym.

Still no further forward in looking for a job. I really don't want to leave, but have sort of burnt my bridges now. Yesterdays meeting resulted in him being suspended on full pay (AGAIN) for another week. It's farcical. Although....Apparently the owner is FUMING as its the lawyers who have said he can't just sack him, and has come up with a contract that M1 has to write, and if Owner agrees with it all, he is going to show it to M2&M3, if they agree to it (which they wont unless its OUTSTANDING), then it is to be signed and with weekly visits to ensure that the work set out in the contract is being done. He is on his final warning NOW and one tiddly little step out of line...5minutes late, or too long for lunch/whatever, thats it. So I dont know what to do now!! My resgination hasnt yet formally been accepted or given in writing.

Have just mopped the floors. Hugely embarrassing confession....They havent been done since I moved in. Hoovered, yes. Mopped....No. Having said that, they were surprisingly clean. NeedyKitten is furious about the kitchen floor being wet and keeps walking in and out making a big deal about the fact his paws are wet. This is the cat that comes and sits in the bath with me. Hoovered throughout, on my second load of washing and need to dust still. OH did the washing up before he went to work, so only have the wine glasses from last night, his breakfast stuff and my lunch stuff to do.

I think my new aim should be to try and lose 3lbs a week....Will soon see whether the weight gain was due to not exercising/eating badly for that week or the pill. There is a loss already though from Wednesdays weigh in, so keep fingers crossed.

Mum cat has gone to stud - she appears to like this one and has mated 7 times since yesterday :eek:!! Hopefully this one will go full term :morecrossedfingers: Due date is 14th August and collection in November... Daddy

Food: 2 ham & pie d'angloys baguettes, greek yoghurt with blue/rasp/strawberries, 2 rice cakes, 1 laughing cow light triangle, crackling off the ham, pasta, pork, tomato sauce, marscepone, homemade garlic bread.

Exercise: Housework?! 120 situps

sleepy, grumpy, dopey....

Can't remember any other dwarves, except Happy and I ain't that...

I'm tired, I can't *really* be arsed with the gym tonight, but I must go, I am going and if I don't I will be furious with myself for not going. I'm really tired in that I'm slightly scared I may fall asleep on the cross trainer. Grumpy...well, there's still no decision apart from 'Tell FB that the job is hers, when M1 leaves....whenever that is'. His meeting was today at 4.30pm, but we all suspect he is on his final warning now. He won;t find another job and leave off his own bat - even if he works hard he's still on a fairly cushy number. Dopey...well, in that I can't really be arsed to do anything and I'm finding it hard to think straight. Looking on job centre website and nothing... There's a couple of pet shops I can ring tomorrow but I doubt they'll have anything.

My shoulder really is sore and clicky.

Food: half a chocolate chip muffin, salad (ham/halloumi/mozzerella/coleslaw) muller light, smoothie, quavers, pasta and bolognese sauce with parmesan, homemade garlic bread and wine.

Exercise: 20mins bike (200calories), 120 situps, gym (all weights, 18mins cross trainer, 10mins rower, 31mins treadmill)

Let the weight loss commence!!

It would appear I have lost 2lbs already :lol: I am not getting excited though until I've got past VV stones 11lbs again - this is just the warmup (again, sigh). Off to gym tonight with S to her gym, so won't be doing as much as I normally do at mine, but I'll be doing some different weights. Wish she could join my gym, I really don't like hers and I HATE going on my own.

Must remember to ring up LCC today about my gym card - it's still coming up invalid and I've rung the bank and they say the money has gone from my account. I suspect I have an old card, the number on the back is out of date anyway. Hopefully it's sorted now, but if not, ALC have to send back my card for a new one. Had to be mine which buggered up.

I feel quite podged...I can't see that those lbs that seem to have melted off will have stayed off :( I shouldnt have had the baguette (I knew I was eating in half hour or so as well) or the strawberry bun, but at least it was half and not a whole one.

Food: Ham/mozzerella/halloumi/coleslaw/avacado salad, quavers, muller light, 2 rice cakes and 1 triangle laughing cow lite, half a strawberry bun, small baguette, ham & pie d'angloys, spaghetti bolognese, garlic bread, chocolate chip muffin.

Exercise: 60 situps, 20 minutes (200 calories) on bike, half hour cardio at the gym.

Sigh....Let the weightloss commence

Put on 5lbs in 2 weeks. I suppose, thinking about the exercise I DIDN'T do, and the food I ate its not too bad really.

Still meh though :(

Food: ham/mozzerella/halloumi/coleslaw salad, quavers, muller light, 2 rice cakes, 1 triangle laughing cow cheese, half a packet maltesers, 1 sausage, homemade pizza & garlic bread, wine.

Exercise: 32 lengths swimming, 20mins bike

Confused....

I'm now reading about Cerazette - the Pill I've just come off of...Doesn't seem to be well liked anyway. I appear to have done quite well on it, in that my skin hasnt got bad, nor has it raised blood pressure....I have had mood swings, but I don't know if that is down to my inherent bitchiness/brattishness anyway OR if the Pill has magnified it. Now I'm reading a bit more, it seems you can have difficulties coming off it. A lot of people have said that they bloated after they came off it, and had bad skin and raised blood pressure anyway. So have I done the wrong thing?

I am mostly convinced that the pill has stopped my weight loss. It coincides with the right time anyway. Now I'm off it, I'm all motivated to lose weight again, but what if its just cos my enthusiasm was waning anyway? What if it's all psychological and I needn't have come off the Pill? Still, done now...Will give it 2 months and see what happens.

I'm so tired and I've done NOTHING to warrant it...Did some clothes washing and some washing up, surfed t'net most of the day, watched United 93, surfed some more, window shopped in the Next catologue, but I am yawning like nothing on this earth and could happily go to sleep. Just done 5minutes on the bike and am ready to have a heart attack!!! My legs ache, I'm sweaty like you wouldnt believe and I'm out of breath....Surely it hasnt been THAT long since I've been on it. How embarrassing. Was vaguely entertaining ideas of doing 20mins on it before work everyday - not a chance if I feel like this after 5mins!! Have the vague rumblings of the start of a cold, but have been like this for a week or so and it refuses to develop or go away. Sulk. It doesnt help that I am B.O.R.E.D and therefore eating.

Food: 1 x ham & pie d'angloys sandwich, 2 x ham, coleslaw and mozzerella breadrolls, chunks of port salut, 1 packet quavers, 1 chunk of Halloumi, pork fillet, 1 sausage, beans, carrots, boiled potatoes, 2 yorkshire puddings, 3 teaspoons apple sauce, gravy, half a bottle rose wine

Exercise: 30mins (300calories) on the bike, 40 lengths in swimming pool

Hmmm, maybe I just needed a 'warmup' - have just done 25mins straight on bike and was ok...hot and sweaty and mildly out of breath, but otherwise ok... knees ache now! Will weigh myself in the morning (am expecting it to be around WWstones 5lbs or so), then get back into the routine again. And will see how quickly - if at all, weight loss happens. If nothing, I swear I am going for lipo.

(9.30pm - just back from swimming. I am KNACKERED. Lots of movement, not very much speed. Am convinced 2 girls were laughing at how slow I was :( Was a real struggle.)

I am BORED (and slightly drunk)

RAHHHHHHHh

Came off the pill today....Am going to sit back and wait for weight loss to happen :lol: Am hoping it will be within a month - I seemed to stop losing weight after a month when I went on it, so it stands to reason it will be the same this way round

Have eaten LOADS today :(

ham/mozzerella/salad cream/avacado salad, quavers, maltesers, a boost bar, some marzipan, an almond croissant, a scotch egg, some of OHs pies (I didnt eat them all...), 3 ham & pie d'angloys sandwiches, 1 pint of pimms

exercise - nothing.

I wonder where all my motivation has disappeared to? I really hope its the pill that has stopped me losing weight(and therefore losing motivation...), but if it isnt then I dont know what to do.

Hmmmm.

What a crap day....

But not really for any particular reason - have just had zero motivation and feel quite achey - please don't say I'm coming down with another cold....

Busy searching for vacuum cleaners online....the current one just can't keep up with a fluffy Norwegian Forest moult. OH is of the opinion that if we buy something to last, we spend Money on it (this is how we ended up spending £1000 we don't have on a TV and surround sound thingy), but I dont want to spend £300 on a vacuum (of all things) and find it's shit.

Have also decided to come off the Pill. NOT to have babies, but to see if it helps with the weight loss. I know the resolve has slipped somewhat, but I AM still exercising and eating less that I did, but in last 2 weeks, I have put on HALF A STONE again. Back up to WWstone 6lbs :bawling: So coming off it for 2 months, if it works all well and good and I will stay off it till I can get to a weight where I can have my normal Pill back...if it doesn't, I am asking to have my stomach stapled.

So. Any vacuum recomendations anybody?

Food: salad (mozzerella/ham/sundried tomatoes), quavers, 1 big slice chocolate cake, lots of PiMMs, big bag Maltesers, pasta, tomato sauce, bacon and cheese, 2 slice salami, 1 chunk Halloumi.

Exercise: nowt.

So Very Tired

I think I've had 3 hours total sleep all night. Spent most of it on the Job Centre website (have printed off 2 jobs - neither related to pets) or trying to work out if any of the pet shops in the area are looking for people. Looks highly doubtful. OH is having a fit and keeps telling me to wait another week. But....How long has he been saying that? Love my job, but sick of the crap that comes with it.

Kitten stayed with me all night which was sweet, although the one time I DID fall asleep he started coughing up a hairball right by my ear, then proceeded to drink the glass of water I had left out for ME....

Got a cracking headache and in a foul mood already. I can tell today is going to be fun - it was N's 16th birthday yesterday so she will still be all giddy and overexcited from that - esp as its her party tonight! I can see myself having no friends at work by 5pm.

-------

Back from work, foul mood, ended up in tears with the INJUSTICE of everything today, having fallen out with everybody beforehand. Got banished to the shed, partly I think to stop any other huge displays of over emotional behaviour and partly because I was starting to make no sense at all I was so tired. I'm still impressed I didnt crawl onto a bale of hay and sleep there. At 3am this morning, I entertained the idea of going to the gym tonight. Nah. It's not gonna happen. Pizza, garlic bread (homemade), wine, long bath and sleep is FAR more appealing. Swimming in morning anyway. Have come home though, washed up, brought washing in and put it away, made tomorrow and Mondays lunch and made OH a cup of tea and a shortbread biscuit and turned his computer on for him by the time he was back from work too.

Food: half a packet of Planets, salad (ham/mozzerella/sun dried tomatoes/mushrooms), quavers, 1 shortbread biscuit, lots of PiMMs biscuits, half a salami & pie d'angloys sandwich, pizza, garlic bread, wine.

Exercise: None.

:bawling: :tantrum: :bawling:

Hypothetically, Potentially isn't happening at all. M1 being suspended on full pay for 1 week, then coming back under constant review. So am job hunting again. Fuckers.

As such have eaten shit today. 1 bacon, mushroom & brown sauce sandwich, 10 shortbread with chocolate chips, 1 strawberry bun, 1 salad (ham/mozzerella/stuffed mushrooms/sundried tomatoes), 1 packet quavers, half a chocolate muffin, 1 ham and pie d'angloys sandwich, half bottle rose wine (I broke one of my lovely big half-a-bottle-wine glasses :bawling: ), pilau rice, limey chicken, garlic ciabatta.

Spent ages at the gym. Did all my weights (2 reps of 10, have increased all the weights now, although I struggled A LOT with peck flyes and shoulder press), then accidentally did 26minutes on the cross trainer (I dont know how my mind was working - I did 10mins, then stopped for a break cos I thought it would pause what I had just done-it didnt- and then reprogrammed it to do another 13mins....crazy), 31 mins (inc warmup) on the treadmill and 10mins on the rower. Surprised I didnt have a heart attack by the time I came out. Now have a blister on my right foot.

Foul mood and wish I'd left months ago when I originally wanted to.

Will Hitch Back Up The Wagon Tomorrow....

Cos today I've had my last final, honest guv, big piggy fat day. Till the next time.

Still slightly dopey from the relexology, but have finally listened to Paul McKenna on the new cd player I got while at mum and dads. Dunno if its done any good but it might have contributed possibly... I only managed to leave the pork fat and the tiniest smidgen of Yorkshire pudding on this evenings tea. And I know I'm not hungry anymore, but I WANT some ice cream so OH has gone off to get some from the freezer :spoilt: :wub: but also :fat:

Went shopping with S - spent lots in Lush, some pants from La Senza and some hair dye!

Not much else to add, I really couldnt motivate myself to go to the gym tonight, I WILL go tomorrow and possibly saturday too...

May also find out tomorrow whether Hypothetically Potentially might happen.... :fingerscrossed:

All Treatment-ed Out

I am SHATTERED. We'll not talk about what I've eaten :blush:

Had reflexology today and :thud: lady was impressive. Picked up straight away on my poppy shoulder, my neck, sinuses and headaches, AND was able to tell me how long ago I gave up smoking, thanks to some hard skin on my left foot! Amazing. I am utterly shattered now though, which means I am in a foul mood.

Pedicure yesterday which was nice, but I put my socks on too early and have smudged the varnish. Oops.

OH and Dad went to France and have come back with all sorts of goodies, OH got me a lovely pair of trainers along with the millions of boxes of wine! Have been very good, as soon as we got home I got everything unpacked and either put away or in the washing machine - how domesticated have I got?!

Kitten is very pleased to be back home. Think he was getting upset with being constantly sworn at by siamese.

Also got a new pair of jeans - almost bordering on being too big on certain parts of my body.

Tomorrow, fingers crossed is Hypothetically Potentially becomming reality.

Off to parents today

So a week of no exercise, gluttony and people touching my feet :S

OH and I are off down to the farmers market to get some buffalo LOL and possibly some other stuff....Kitten has realised somethings happening and is generally being a pain in the arse.

Not going to blog till Wednesday as dont want parents to know this exists.

Now. Must get motivated and sorted.

Bum :(

Went into Leeds instead of Harrogate this morning after a blissful lie in...think we rolled out of bed about 10ish LOL. First stop was mk1...where the sizes STOP at 16 :bawling: Put me out of the idea of finding any nice clothes after that, so went to Lush to comfort shop, and STILL couldnt cheer myself up :thud: and only spent £13 :thud:

Went into Waterstones too, got myself a couple of books and then cos it was 3-for-2, got OH one too and a bag from somewhere that was closing down, so that can be my sports bag, rather than pinching OHs. Also some magazines from smiths, and that was it, we came away....OH got some tops and some bright-white (hehe) pants from H&M.

On the way home, scooted into town and got things for tonight from Waitrose and then wandered down to the butchers for some ham to take down to mums with us tomorrow.

Now have to summon up the enthusiasm to do hoovering, general tidying and start packing to make sure we have everything...

Food: chunk halloumi, toffee & pecan cookie, strawberry bun, 1 ham & pie d'angloys baguette, chicken breast with mozzerella & bacon, boiled potatoes, green beans, carrots, gravy, cranberry sauce, ben & jerrys ice cream :blush:

Exercise: none

YAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!!

I have really looked forward to this coming week off. Not sure why. Mum has booked me a pedicure and a reflexology session....

Shopping in Harrogate tomorrow, then Sunday there's the Farmers Market, then we're driving down, then I'm off to see Pony! Yay! Monday it's dads birthday, then Tuesday him and OH are off to France for the day and mum and I are having our pedicure. Wednesday we're having this reflexology malarky and then coming home. Thursday I assume will be spent doing Boring Jobs and Friday am back at work and will hopefully find out if Hypothetically Potentially has become a Definate Reality :lol:

Lazy day at work, spent the morning sweeping everywhere, including under the tubs and under the stands. D did W&C, SC did bugger all and LovelyM spent most of his day requesting relationship advice...He needs a boyfriend. Badly!

Was a bit achey this morning, but sweeping worked it off and then I spent the afternoon in the shed, mainly chasing (notso)LovelyM with a pitchfork because he was being spectacularly irritating for the afternoon. Just back from the gym and worked Very Hard. Have a blister from the rower LOL. Just as well have enforced rest!

Food: quavers, salad (ham/cheddar/salad cream), muller light, maltesers, have D's bacon savoury, crunchy nut cornflakes, 1 large baguette with ham & pie d'angloys, 1 bowl Waitrose Gelato Nocciolato....Fucking lovely, although made gym visit pointless! Has dark chocolate in it, which I didnt realise til I'd eaten most of it, so may have a migraine tomorrow. Didn't stop me eating it! And sorry Paul...I didnt leave ANY of my food today, although I did share the quavers & maltesers.

Exercise: 120 situps, gym (increased weights up a 'weight' so now doing 2 sets of 10, put cross trainer on level 6,

Little Toad...

NeedyKitten that is. Has somehow found his catnip from whereever it was hidden - me and OH both thought it was on the mantlepeice in the living room, but that would involve the cat going in there last night, stealing it, then hiding it ready to spill everywhere this morning.... although knowing him, I wouldnt put it past him lol. The hallway is just a sea of catnip....He will have a shock when I hoover tonight!!

Currently eating a bowl of Crunchy nut cornflakes, very slowly and am enjoying every mouthful :nod: as told to by Paul McKenna. Must listen to that CD tonight, as definately have not woken up full of energy and ready to run 10 miles! I have left some remnants of cornflakes and some milk in the bowl though, just like he told me to...

Only today and tomorrow left at work and then a whole week off (again!) I will have no holiday left soon lol.
----
Just back from work....Been so proud of myself all day for not being so hungry and was wondering if Paul was helping! No, I just forgot I had eaten those cornflakes :bawling: I did however leave bits of all my food so far today (except the chocolate hobnobs :blush: ).

Went to S' gym this evening. Very different to mine. The cross trainers made my legs ache more for a start! Did a different programme to what I do at Aireborough....5mins on bike to warm up, 15 on x-trainer, then 10 on rower. Then we arsed about on a toning table for a bit, then I did oblique twists (dont have that at mine, although do have one here at home which I forgot about), Pec Flys, adductor and abductor. They HURT!!! Oh, and one for your bum - you lie on front then lift on leg up at a time on this machiney thing. Very odd. Don't feel particularly worked out though, although will regret saying that tomorrow - I can feel it already!

Busybusy at work, SC was irritating, started waffling on about shires 'crap feet' until I got so irritated, I just turned round and said 'Actually SC, thats just bad farriery...' Looked at me as though I'd just kicked a kitten and walked off. Also made lots of unsubtle hints about baths, and walking dogs and making sure they had water. I'm so awful.

Food: 1 bowl crunchy nut cornflakes, porridge, muller light, quavers, 2 hobnobs, 2 rice cakes with laughing cow light cheese, limey chicken, pilau rice, homemade garlic bread

Exercise: Gym

:cuddle: and :goodvibes: for today, E :)

(Just finished tea....didn't leave any of it. Or the rice cakes...)

Yay!! Books came!

And am a bit :huh: It seems fairly common sense-y really and all a bit too easy. I stand to be corrected, obviously, but *dunno* it just seems, well, too easy. Maybe the epiphany will come when i listen to the CD.

There's 4 'rules' - only 2 of which I can remember. 1 is eat what you want, when you want. The other I can remember is chew each mouthful slowly and savour each mouthful.

I managed the first of those, but not the second today :blush:

He says dont weigh yourself for 2 weeks :S thats when I tend to give up when I can't see how I'm doing....But suppose it fits in nicely with us being at mum and dads next week. He also suggests making sure you leave SOMETHING each meal...have cheated tonight and left the crusts, which I never eat anyway lol.

Work wasnt too bad. M1 is an utter arse and I can't wait for him to go. OH told me I eat too much and don't do enough exercise to lose weight :( Although the past 2 weeks I would have to agree with him :(

Food: salad (ham/halloumi/salad cream), muller light, quavers, 1 qalaxy cake bar, lots of caramel & choc biscuits, lots of Hobnobs, a packet of maltesers, half a bacon and cheese savory, a big bowl of crunchy nut cornflakes, 1 salami & pie d'angloys sandwich, 1 ham & pie d'angloys sandwich.

Exercise: 70lengths swimming. Pool was empty! Well, full of women. Their OHs were all obviously watching the football too :rolleyes:

A gaining week :(

Paul McKenna ('s book) will have his work cut out!

COnvincing me I dont NEED nice things to eat, then getting grumpy when I refuse them (or not, as the case may be, then I get an attack of the guilts).

Amazon emailed me to say my order was dispatched today, so hopefully will get it tomorrow :crossedfingers:

Super-busy at work. M1 came back off holiday and was fine with everyone else but FOUL to me :unsure: *I* didnt contribute to his problems! Asked him to serve, and he shouted back to ask someone else - I shouted back that if anyone else was about to serve, I would! He came out then, but was NOT happy about it.I really wished Owner was there then... I would have loved to have seen his face. I dont care. I only have to put up with it till Friday, then hopefully never again. Stupid arse.

Tomorrow just me and Mr D in the shop.... Got hopper/biscuit kilos/bird kilos/stands to do plus the shop could do with a bloody good tidy up. It's so frustrating with the builders in - everythings had to move for them to be able to work, but its embarrassing when people ask us for stuff and it's either covered in dust or we just plain can't find it.

I am tired today, despite the fact I had a good sleep last night...I'm so pleased everything is resolved, and in the ponys best interests too. I am still going to see her on Sunday afternoon and I cannot WAIT. It's a nice day as well, which has helped my better mood.

Food: 2 packers Quavers, 1 packet maltesers, salad (ham/mozzerella/halloumi/salad cream), muller light, 1 baguette with salami & pie d'angloys, half a pizza (homemade) and half a homemade garlic bread.

Exercise: 5minutes (48.8calories) on bike, 60 sit ups and either 50 lengths in 50 minutes in the pool, or 54 lengths in 50 minutes....I lost count.

(just got on scales....bit of a heads for tomorrow, but HALF A STONE ON! :bawling: )

Sorted

The Situation is no longer a Situation.

Pony is staying where she is, I am visiting on Sunday, we are pretending the last 2 weeks havent happened. Well, I am :unsure:

Now exhausted.

Utterly Exhausted

Only this time I know why..... Can't sleep for thinking of The Situation. :( Whatever happens it will be wrong. I have emailed a horse transport search thingy who make you fill out a form and then all the different transporters get back in touch with their quotes. Will wait till I have a few, then email V and tell her when we're coming to get Pony/Stuff. Not really sure what to do though tbh.

The options:

1. Offer Pony to V for sale, as long as I get £xxxx by a certain date. This is on the understanding that I will never have any further contact with the horse, as long as I get one last chance to say goodbye. (lets not confuse concern with stalking, hey?)

2. Bring Pony back, turn away on grass livery until back/legs sorted. Ask EH to reschool her/take her to parties, then sell.

3. Bring Pony back, turn away on grass livery until back/legs sorted. Loan to a very local home only.

4. Bring Pony back, discover nothing wrong, sell immediately.

5. Bring Pony back, disover pony knackered, field ornament forever.

Also had a shit day with food. I have no willpower and self control - I think I may be expecting too much of this Paul McKenna book.

Was meant to go for a walk with OH tonight, but OH has cried off cos 'it looks like it might rain', thought about going to the gym with S but she's working and I really need someone with me to motivate me and be competitive with today.

Food: half ham & pie d'angloys sandwich, 2 rice cakes with laughing cow light cheese, a twirl (2 fingers), 3/4s packet chocolate hobnobs :blush: salad, quavers, muller light, lamb, boiled potatoes, yorkshire pudding, green beans, carrots, gravy, mint sauce.

Exercise: Nothing.

Very tired!

And not for any particular reason why. Didnt swim this morning because me and OH just couldnt wake up. Eventually rolled out of bed around 9.20 :shock:

Really must pull finger out and look for yards. I suspect I will end up going back to Original Yard, purely for ease rather than anything else. People I know, a yard layout I know, arenas and hacking I am confident with, if I ever sit on her again. A big shame it appears V & I can't work things out though :( Had got myself all worked up for The Chat tonight, and it looks like she can't get to a computer. Heart skips everytime someone new signs into MSN. I am so pathetic.

Acquired (aka, stole) a petometre from work. I'm sure its quicker to rack up the calories than on my old (human!) one. Maybe a dogs metabolic rate is quicker than a humans, despite the fact I put my weight in? I dont know.

I am so hungry, constantly. Had eaten most of my lunch before we even opened the doors today. Just till Friday to go, then I have a half week off to see my parents, then hopefully The Big News will be common knowledge....If it happens.

Food: 1 salad (chicken/mozzerella/halloumi/cranberry sauce), quavers, twirl (both fingers!), 2 Go Ahead apple bars, muller light, 2 rice cakes with 1 triangle laughing cow light, 1 ham & pie d'angloys sandwich, roast lamb, boiled potatoes, yorkshire pudding, carrots, peas, gravy, mint sauce.

Very yummy. I could eat it all again.

Exercise: Nothing.

Dont know whats wrong with me. No enthusiasm for anything really. Have just bought Paul McKennas book....Hopefully that will kick start everything again. If that works will think about hypnotherapy for confidence etc. I have no idea how I am going to pay for all this though....

Bargains!

I really must stop spending so much money, especially in light of everything...

Show today, went with works tradestand - took the whole stock of dog beds and we were SO busy!! We must have taken about £500, which considering at the same show last year, we took £7 is going some lol. I got some bargains from the Joules stand (:thud: there was a Joules stand!) and got a summerweight pale blue rugby top which was £50 reduced to £25 and a neon pink jacket which was £85 reduced to £40. Bargainous. Also some red jewelled flip flops which will go well with jeans and my boobs out red top. Must do something about the state of my feet though!

Had a horrendous day food wise. I took a salad, but there was so much temptation everywhere....

Food: 1 bacon sandwich, 1 cheeseburger, chips and tomato sauce, 4 donuts, 2 hot chocolates with whipped cream, 2 bowls crunchy nut cornflakes, 1 turkish delight, quavers, muller light, salad (ham/mozzerella/halloumi/salad cream).

Exercise: I walked down to the show and then back home (about 25mins total) and have done 200 calories on the bike so far.

The huge loss I managed over the last 2/3 days has been totally wiped out. Bah.