Feeling Festive

Today has been a nice day - ponies (and I) had a lie in, they didnt go out till 9. Moll had to do some work, think once she's clipped she's going to have to have breakfast too, she does look rather light at the minute. Anyway, she worked nicely, but might have to start wearing spurs. Hmm. I don't *think* she's hungry, and once I've got after her she does work nicely, but the first 5 minutes is spent with 'this is my leg, this is my whip...' until she finally decided to play ball. Must be more consistant with my contact.

Was all lovely and frosty up there too, real thick frost. Looked very wintery and I felt (feel) very festive at the moment... Took her for a mooch down the bridleway afterwards but it was too icy really, she kept slipping.

Meant to go swimming today, but, umm, forgot. Rubbish. Haven't actually done any proper exercise today and have eaten rubbish. Nor did I go into town and buy any tit tape. They were highly busy at work, very pleased I wasn't in. This is it now till Christmas though... I've got too lazy.

Going to Chris' sisters for alcohol tonight. Must be good.

Hmm....

Been sent a page of links 'to read and digest'.

Hmmm. Still reading, still digesting. Still not sure of its relevance though?

http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=bi+polar+disorder&meta=

Being a bit shit again

Dunno why. Think it's because things arent really going my way weight wise...Well, it is and it isn't. I'm a little lacking in motivation and I don't really know why.

First of all I was going to go to the gym tonight (I didn't ride this morning), then I decided I wasn't, but I was going to go for a run instead. Didn't do that either. Didn't sleep overly well last night which probably isn't helping my current mood PLUS ridiculous jealousy is rearing its ugly head.

Hmmm. Am going to ride in the morning and I AM going to go to the gym after work. Have a weekend of wine drinking and pizza ahead of me to try and negate, plus the VAT deal at work most of Monday. Tuesday is the dentist again so hopefully I'll be back on the soup diet after that. I can't decide which tooth hurts more now. I'd not thought of dentistry in my hopefulness of being out of debt.... I'll aim for the end of January to get the credit card paid off. Hmm. Oh well.

On the plus side my pink dress still fits, yay.... It's even baggy over the tits which is shocking. It may even need taking in. What a novelty.

Arrrggghhhh

I don't know why I am letting myself get so wound up over shavings of all things. Breathe.....

Hmmm.

Had a moment earlier. You know, general self hatred et al. I seem over it now. I am getting increasingly jealous though. I am pleased certain people aren't coming to the Christmas party now because I was paranoid before over what is/was said etc. At least I'm now only being paranoid while I'm sober. If I was drunk I might attempt to act on it.

Diet is not going well. Christmas chocolates have started to arrive and I have started to eat them.

Mmmm, chocolate. Mmmmm, losing my boyfriend. Must stop eating aforementioned chocolate.

Riding on a morning again...

Is good for the soul I think :nod: Even if it is a fucker dragging yourself out of bed. Didn't do very much cos the pair of us were still half asleep I think - it took a couple of reminders that leg on = shift your ass. Might wear spurs tomorrow. Took her flash off this morning too, but didnt really do enough to decide if it was beneficial or not.Have printed out some walk and trot tests for video dressage to try and work towards. Aim low and all that... Canter needs Work and until we can have regular lessons again, it's not high on the list to be thinking about it.

Diet? What diet? I am aiming for a 'maintain' over Christmas and New Year. Eat what the hell I like and make sure I go to the gym. As long as I fit in my dress it's all good.

Work. Bit shit. Not for now.