still being stupid

Today started out such a good day. I refrained from chips, and other yummy town-related treats. I refused to go to Sainsburys on the way home on the grounds that I'd be too tempted by yumminess from there. So I went to the shop instead. Drove, didn't walk. Bought 2 creme eggs. One ostensibly for Christopher. Only I ate them both. Then ate 4 (I think, could have been 6) laughing cow light triangles. And half a Thorntons fudge bar. And a hot chocolate. So far I have managed to resist the yogurt and nutella. I did not go to the gym. I had a utter hissy fit at work and was depressed for the afternoon, really wasn't feeling the gym love. Obviously wish I'd gone now though. Keep thinking about doing some crunches, but not actually doing them.

So. Tomorrows plan. I will get up, go to the gym (I'm not riding, it's Friday 13th)and have an amazing workout. Then, I will go to work and remain on food ban till at least 1pm. After work, I will go see the horse, pat her and tell her how pretty she is, then go to the pool and swim for 45minutes. Then I will come home, shower, eat my vegetables and then go see Waynes band play.

Rode this morning. She was a bit of a dickhead, really. Trot was 100000miles an hour with her head in the air, until I started sitting trot and she was much MUCH better. Odd. Still, I have a lesson on Saturday with YO. Will either be amazing or rubbish.

I am finding lots of pictures of people I want to look like to look at when I want fatfood. And things I want, such as nice riding boots, nice clothes, nice things... On Saturday I will get up early and go for a run, before my lesson/town wakes up. Sunday I'm going to the gym. Then Monday morning I will gym...Maybe run in the eve.... I MUST get back into exercising. It's no wonder I'm not losing weight.

silly again

Filling done, all dentistry FINITO :squeee: and there is No Pain, I can move my mouth normally, it's all good. Unfortunately this means I have eaten, lots, today. I did go swimming this morning though and did 50 lengths, which I admit is rubbish, but I haven't swum since Iceland.

Rode this aft, I am a rubbish rider, I really am :( I got run away with in trot as well, that was embarrassing. Right after saying she was perfect for confidence giving (disclaimer: in the school). Oh well.

i would say I'd be good tomorrow, but we're off out with Nicola, which I assume means takeaway.

Going to ride in the morning & gym in evening. I am. Must.

Silly

Was having A Very Good Food Day, but have just spoilt it by having a 'secret' (ie, unpointed :nono: :bad: ) peice of salami & laughing cow, then a slice of Pie D'Angloys. Then 1 hot chocolate and 6 pinks and whites :rolleyes: (those I've pointed...) Still. Tomorrow I don't know when I'll get to eat anything (dentist at 10.20) so maybe it'll be ok. I'm going to go swimming in the morning too, before my appointment. My mouth will be too numb to go afterwards and then too painful when that has worn off. It's the aim anyway. I might not wake up in time yet.

Gym was good this morning, didn't do the stepper though, did 5 x 30 seconds on a 15% incline at 5.5mph instead. Stepper probably would have been more...whats the word...beneficial, but I wanted the rests :lazy:

I'm cross with myself now for having the pink & whites. I knew before I got the packet out I didn't really want them, but got them anyway. Stupid. Didn't enjoy them either.

Unacceptable.

I got on the scales at the gym this morning - back to 15stone AGAIN. This is ridiculous. I must must MUSt get back into things again.

I met with Andy on Thursday night. Dear God did it prove I was rightrightright to get out of that. He is the most depressive man I have ever met. He hasn't changed a bit, in either outlook or appearance. He managed to turn it into a bad thing that I'd lost weight and was most put out I had a nice car. There were a few little snidey asides about that. Anyway, he has the divorce papers and needs to send them to the courts, so hopefully I'll get them to sign in a few weeks and I can draw a line under the whole thing. Still, it meant I ended up here, but I do wonder now just how much I could have done without him? Whatever, what is done, is done. There is no point bitching about what I could have done. If it was meant to be, I would have done it.

Am hating the snow, it's brought everything to a standstill almost. Can't ride cos the school is under 6 inches of school and the bridleway is a sheet of ice. I did lead her down yesterday so I could go in the indoor but it was dicey and I do wish I hadn't done it. Can't get my car up the bridleway either. I was going to attempt it tomorrow, but it's snowing AGAIN now.

Back in the gym tomorrow. This week coming I am going to aim to go 5 times. I probably won't go Tuesday cos I have the dentist (last appointment!) and I don't tend to go on a Saturday. I don't know why not, I just don't. Maybe I should. I just don't feel the gym-love on a Saturday. Going to go before work tomorrow if we're not snowed in, and see Mollymol in the evening. She's bored of the snow now too.