Hungry hungry hippo

Not eaten much yet today. Bad day, SC & ST were joined at the hip and totally ignored me & the other girl working. Feel like shit over it all, I know I havent helped by being paranoid and quiet, but I just do :(

Food: 1 oatmeal & sultana cookie, 1 packet of french fries, couple of chips, some chocolate buttons, some chocolate animals and tea is mince stew with dumplings, 1 slice mandarin cheesecake & cream, half bottle rose & half bottle white wine.

Weight gain day.

Think I'm gonna eat some worms :nod:

Meh, I am such a grumpy bitch.Spent the day in the shed at work cos I couldnt face LOOKING at anyone without getting in a mood.

SB is just totally ignoring me and I genuinely have no idea what to do next. SC is the culprit - she flirts constantly with him which means he just fucks about all day, as does she, then D starts, cos, well, why should he do all the work on his own?

So the worms - they obviously don't like me enough to respect what I ask them to do, said to SB the other day that SC clearly didnt like me and he said that 'wasnt the case - she was really worried about telling you she was moving in with ST' (ST is my allegedly best friend....who didnt tell me ANY of the whole moving in together stuff until I found out from some one else). Pointed out was only the case cos they knew they were leaving me out of stuff and he just kind of shrugged.

ST & SC in tomorrow - shall we take bets on whether they push me out of stuff ('I know! I'll do this, and ST can do that bit!') It does make it hard that ST used to have my job and seems to forget the past tense when she does come back to work. RAHHHH. She texted me not so long ago and asked if I wanted to go round. I told her I didnt feel well and I'd see her tomorrow. I know its my current obsession with food which is making me like this, its a bloody big coincidence if not that all my friends start to be complete twats all at the same time.

Food: 1 packet French Fries, 1 banana, 1 twix top, 1 muller light yoghurt and 1 ham, pineapple, salami & mozzerella pizza. 1000calories.

Didn't ride after all

Not really surprised, and not disappointed, really. The shocking news of the day is I got my money off N :thud: Well. Half of it, but she agreed she owes me what i think she owes me, so due another £100 soon - result.

NeedyKitten being horrifically needy - he can't quite cope with the idea of snow, an when he isnt running from room to room trying to hunt it all, he's either sat on my lap telling me all about it, or trying to get onto my lap, telling me how he's going to get there and then how when he's reached my lap, how he killed all the snow :rolleyes:

Only managed 500calories on the bike so far - although did walk N's dogs with her and spent a good 2-3 hours bored stiff watching her muck out & do waters etc. Oh yes, and chat to her friends. Went for lunch in a pub, wish I hadnt but still. Was nice.

Food: 1.5 slices garlic bread, tomatoes & onions, about 10 thick chips, and a chicken & bacon club sandwich, with mayonaise & salad cream too :eek: Wish I'd taken the bread off, but pffft. Done now. Tea will be bolognese sauce & pasta, with a Muller Light vanilla flavour yoghurt and a Twix top.

Had lost weight this morning, although suspect with not being at work + the lunch will have put back on tomorrow. Especially as now, after bath & all food, I weigh the same as I did 2 weeks ago :unsure: :bawling:

Other news - SC been warned re 'bad back'. M1 taken half day hol 'cos there's fuck all to do'. Quite glad I'm not going to be there on Tuesday.

Done 1100c now.

Gah

1lb on. Partly pleased its only 1lb, partly upset because its a gain and partly meh about it, because looking at my weightloss 'tracker' it looks like I've lost bugger all for last 3 months :bawling:

Still, it's only 1lb. It will be gone by next week.

Food: 1 FB salad (tomatoes, lettuce, rocket, salad onion, mozerella, ham, cheese & chive stuff), 1.5 bowls (:blush:) of pasta -macoroni & brown pasta- with sausages in a cheese sauce. 1 Roses chocolate. 1000 calories on bike in 1h40m.

Going to see N tomorrow - shes said she will ask if I can ride her friends horse. Both dubious and excited. I haven't ridden since, oof, October? The last time I saw the Furry Boy Bag at her old-new home anyway. What if horse isnt up to weight? Apparently some kind of overgrown Dales type anyway. What if I hate it? What if I love it and miss it huge amounts? As long as ponio is up to weight, then I think I might quite enjoy it. If owner says yes of course. AND I'm meant to be getting my money. I think I'll wait and see re that!

SC getting talking to tomorrow, re Tuesday, 'bad back' and moving house. Own fault, no sympathy. M1, apparently going to be paid off and asked to go. SOOOOO, fingers crossed, good vibes, spinks, whatever, I may be getting a pay rise before too long. Will also put 1 person in particulars nose out of joint, but... pah.

Heavy snow forecast for tonight/tomorrow. Its getting cold now. OH thinks it might be too cold for it. Kitten (despite being of the long haired variety) is ignoring both me & OH to sit by the fire on his own.

re, the panicking last night - unfounded *phew*

rahhhhhhh

Its ok, I'm not ACTUALLY asking for advice or anything.

Still got another 350 calories to do on the bike, will do in a sec. Work, bit crap. SC phoned in sick - but isnt it highly convenient she is also moving tomorrow. Not gone unnoticed and will be questioned on it on Thursday and asked to produce a Drs note (reckons she went this morning).

I appear to be oversensitive and thin skinned. Apparently my 'narky' reply to a question has been overlooked and ppl carrying on as they did before. But. One more comment and I swear to Heat Magazine that I will swing for her. Honest, I will.

Other news - apparently I shall definately get my money on Thursday from N :thud: Wonder if she will give me what she actually owes me, or what she conveniently remembers she owes me.

Food: Salad (rocket, egg mayonnaise, ham, mozzerella, tomatoes, spring onions), French Fries, flapjack, some smarties & some maltesers (shared, didnt count them....), lasagne, lettuce leaves, salad cream & 8 dough balls. 1.5 glasses of wine.

Weigh day tomorrow. I'm not hopeful. Especially as..... :deepbreath: Me and OH weren't exactly careful with the old condoms when I was on antibiotics. I am feeling sick on a morning, and am a day late. To say I am panicking is an understatement. I am very broody atm which doesnt help, but Right Now would very definately be the Wrong Time - what with everything going on at work, I want to be established within the potential new role before I take anytime off, the extra money can go towards paying off my car(s) and saving for The Future. Plus it kind of puts paid to any weight loss plans, doesnt it, really? I think I've pickled it anyway these past 2 days if I am.

I want a baby, badly, just not now..... I think I need to buy a test tomorrow.

OH just told me I eat to much to lose weight. Don't *think* I need buy a test tomorrow *crossfingers*

I'm still a jealous bitch

and I AM getting on the bike today. Honest.

I can't decide if a friend is being 'unfeeling' without thinking how things come across or if I am being a silly cow taking things too much to heart too quickly. Probably a combination of both. At least my kitten and my OH heart me - although there are times when I dont know why either of them do! :lol:

My next target is to lose three/quarters of a stone by the end of February. For this I'll get the Lily Allen album (even though that was meant to be this months prize :lol: )

9.45 - first 30m13s (300 calories) gone.... :lol:

4.51pm - 920 calories gone....

Food: BILLIONS of Roses, yoghurt, blue berries & dried berries, FB salad (lettuce, rocket, spring onions, egg mayonnaise, cheese & chives (ick, may throw it), ham, mozzerella and cherry tomatoes), french fries. Tea is lasagne, garlic bread & salad when OH gets home from BigMeeting.

ETA:

Done 1235calories in 2 total hours :knackered: BigMeeting went well, just need to check a few things on employment law and hopefully will be free of the albatross. Meeting again next week. Not hopeful for weight loss tomorrow, considering amount of chocolate I have troughed.

Re The Other Thing. Face, bothered? See this face? Is it bothered? izzit.... :rolleyes:

Wagon hitched up again, ready for tomorrow

1 M&Ms brownie, 1 ham & pie d'angloys baguette, 1 vanilla muller light, 1 scotch egg, many Roses chocolates, 3 lemon tarts, pork, mashed potatoes, yorkshire puddings, beans, carrots, apple sauce, gravy.

I. Am. Stuffed. Seriously, I can't move. Not biked today either.

Definately weight back on - was XX.6 this morning. Not as much as a gain as I expected, but a gain nevertheless.

D-Day tomorrow. Wibble.

Aaaaahhhhhhh my legs :bawling:

We're back - we went, we saw, we ate, we ache.

Food - Thursday - Saturday

1 packet minstrals, 2 Dairylea DUnkers, 2 Babybel Emmental, 5 Pimms Lemon Mousse biscuits, 1.5 chocolate chip brioche, 1 bowl soup, 2 x shortbread biscuits, 3 x ham sandwiches, 1 x custard cream, 1 x mince pie, 1 x portion chip shop chips, half x ham & pineapple pizza, half x cheese & garlic pizza, 1 x almond criossant. 1 sausage, 2 x bacon, 1 fried egg, mushrooms, scrambled eggs, baked beans, 2 x hot chocolate & cream, 1 x chicken, mozzerella & cranberry panini, 1 x sausage, mashed potato, onion gravy, 2 x banana milkshake, 1 almond croissant, 3 x shortbread biscuits, 1 x roll & butter. Scrambled eggs, baked beans, mushrooms, roll & butter, almond croissant, hot chocolate, cream & marshmallows, cheese & bacon burger & chips with salad cream, lots of Irn Bru, many shortbread biscuits.

My calves are agony - can barely move. But we walked MILES. Went round the zoo at least 3 times (HUGE hill!!), OH bought me some ducks which change colour as the bathwater gets hotter & a hippo (I chose it). Had lovely time - I am DESPERATE to touch a tiger though. Made NeedyKitten look a bit pathetic. Drove back to hotel and walked to the Royal Mile - gazed up at the Castle (didnt go in), went to Museum of Childhood, trundled about for ages, went in all the tacky, overpriced tourist shops, then went down to MonsterMash, for, well, MonsterMash. Very nice and very filling.

Spent lots, but not on souveniers - just things I could buy from town really, but had a lovely, lovely time, apart from South Wales Fire Service who pissed in the street, made comments about girls bodies, hammered on our door at 3am (thought it was their friends room) and were generally rude and obnoxious. Took minds off Monday D-Day, and I realised again how much I do love OH, even if I am a total bitch to him at times.

Saw friend of mine today and shopped with her. Sorry :blush: :lol:

Kitten winner of Feline Oscar for 'Kitten Most Pleased to see Owners Home Again' and had smashed some eggs for us. Despite this, he has been most affectionate he was ever been lol and hasnt shut up since we walked though the door! I did miss him, specially waking up in the night and not having him on the bed :blush:

Meet the Fockers (kind of...)

Off to Edinburgh in a few minutes and stopping off to see my nan on the way up. Havent seen her since my wedding and I'm not sure she knows about OH. She knows me & ex have split up, but..... :dunno: Anyway, we're going to see my Aunt & Uncle too - was meant to be a surprise. Thank God dad rang :lol:

Having lunch with them, then driving up to Edinburgh. I'm really looking forward to it, but will miss the kitten. And my bike & my scales :blush: I have resigned myself to putting weight on this week, but OH says theres a car park about a mile from the hotel - maybe the walk would do me good everyday....

Havent done any cycling and won't do either, being as we're now seconds from leaving.

See you Sunday :wavey:

Hmmmmmm. Nothing short of a miracle.

I've lost a pound :thud: Did not see that coming, thought I'd either stay the same or put on. Still, not complaining :lol:

http://www.fhma.com/calories.htm this seems a good website - apparently I've burnt more than I thought on the bike this eve - good-o :lol: Only done 300 calories so far - but did it in 30mins. Will do another 700. Have to - have had chocolate AND a bottle of wine all to myself :lol:

which nicely leads me onto food today: 1 FB salad (rocket, ham, tomatoes, egg mayonaise, 1 spring onion, 1 slice mozzerella), 1 packet French Fries, 1 apple bake bar (Go Ahead), spaghetti bolognese (with brown spaghetti & white linguine), 6 Roses chocolates and 1 bottle Rose Grenache all to myself.

We also got Freeview today AND NeedyKittens breeder came into the shop - my god can she witter on forever :lol: was nice to see her though. Shocked at how big he looked in the pictures, which is no bad thing as he was a scrawny little bugger when we got him.

Best get back on the bike, otherwise I wont manage my calories....

ETA @ 20.20 - only 350 calories to go, 3 loads of washing, 1 load of hoovering, 1 bed remake,1 bag packed and 2 sets of directions left to go.... :sigh:

ETA again @ 21.25 - did my 1000calories in 95 minutes. Phew. Need bath :lol: Knackered. Might change bed tomorrow...

its so unFAIR /offkevin

Definately not a weightloss week unless a miracle happens overnight :(

Done my 1000 calories on the bike, foodwise today: 2 squares tear & share, FB Salad (only with ham instead of chicken & egg mayonnaise instead of egg & salad cream. Usual suspect otherwise - spring onion, tomatoes, rocket, lettuce, mozzerella...), cranberry & almond bar, packet french fries. Tea....omg, tea. :stuffed: some beef, some chicken, SIX yorkshires!!!!!!!, peas, carrots, mashed potato, gravy & mint sauce.

I am so pissed off :bawling: I cycle for at least 1h40m, I have SIGNIFICANTLY cut my diet down and for what? I am tempted to throw towel in and give up but I cant. I want to get married and have a nice dress and not be embarrassed to fly cos I dont fit properly into the seats and go shopping with friends and beable to buy stuff from the same shops as them, instead of having to go to the FatShop, I want to go dancing without being the elephant in the middle of the dance floor, but most of all I just want to be LIGHT. To not have to worry about falling through the floor at work and to ride whatever horse I like and to not take fat comments personally. I want to be proud of pictures of me, and not have to cut them up or avoid them completely, I want to walk into a room and not be the fattest person.

I also want to be a billionairess and the most popular person in the world, but that aint happening either.

:sigh: :tantrum:

Oh. My. Goodness.

Just finished my 1000calories. I think I may be about to have a heart attack. took 102m35s to do it - I *think* thats about 10mins quicker than normal. Made sure to keep between 24-28km the whole time even when reading :lol: hence the close proximity to a heart attack. Also upped the difficulty as well. Bit annoyed the calories dont clock on quicker, but oh well :( Beggars & all that.....

Still got this damned cold :rolleyes:

foodwise: 1 FB salad - chicken again instead of ham & no egg, but did put a bit extra cheese in. And lots of salad cream. 1 packet French Fries, 1 mars egg (Waitrose at Easter. I can't go shopping till May....I just cant resist it), roast chicken & skin PLUS it was a Waitrose roast chicken, so who knows what was on it, Yorkshire pudding, mashed potatoes, carrots, green beans, gravy, mint sauce, 4 cups of tea, 2 squares tear & share.

Me & warehouse manager were officially told about the meeting next monday. I cant see what I want to happen, happening (ie, gets sacked or leave), either way its going to be uncomfortable for a few weeks. Have told SC (stupid I know) to make damned sure the shop is immaculate next week. Obviously wanted to know why. I told her it was the way it should be kept.

OH and I go away on Thursday to Edinburgh till Saturday morning. I can't wait, although am already panicking about eating out & not biking. Its happened, I am a slave to exercise. Never saw that one coming :lol:

sunday, bloody sunday

1 FB salad, but with chargrilled chicken instead of ham and no egg (or white :rolleyes: ), a bowl of Greek yoghurt with blue/rasp/blackberries mixed in, 5 Lindt chocolates, beef, brussells, carrots, yorkshire pudding, gravy, mint sauce, 14 roses chocolates. :sick:

Done 1000 calories on the bike.

SC & SB registering high on my annoyance radar again :notolerance:

Still no loss this week - in fact am 1lb up, although I have eaten more chocolate this week, but boobs still appear to be getting smaller :lol: dropped another back size.

Going to Edinburgh on Thursday, just for a couple of days away - the calm before the storm I think, work wise for sure. So no biking + eating out all the time = weight gain next week.

:red-flap:

Cor dear, I have been in a FOUL mood all day. I pity my colleagues - I have taken it out on each and every one of them. I will end up in a 'boss from hell' feature one day.

1 packet crisps, 2 cups tea, some chip shop chips, 1 kitkat finger, 1 chunk pie d'angloys, tea is spaghetti bolognese with mozzerella & french stick.

Done 600 calories - felt so dire when I got up this morning I wasnt going to do any, but did 100 to show willing, then did another 500 when I got back from work.

Off to babysit now, joy.

K-nackered

1 FB Salad (spring onion, rocket, lettuce, cherry tomatoes, mozzerella, ham, egg white & salad cream), 1 kiwi fruit, 1 packet French Fries, 1 Lindt chocolate, 1 bite sausage & egg sandiwch (ick), chicken, wrapped in bacon with stuffing in middle & mozzerella on top, mashed potato, brussells, carrots, 2 yorkies, gravy. Bit peckish still and tin of Roses still to get through.

SC & SB werent too bad. Helped that I packed SC off to the shed for the morning.

I am so tired, I had approximately 3 minutes unbroken sleep last night - if it wasnt NeedyKitten bounding about the bed in search of the MonsterSpider, OH was wide awake and asking me stupid questions, such as poking me in the back and asking if I was awake. Reply would be an emphatic 'no', he'd get in a sulk, then carry on a conversation anyway, then get offended when I fell back asleep halfway through.... Men!

1050 calories on the bike today - 2 hours.

Babysitting tomorrow night, so pizza, possibly takeaway for tea. Hohum. Probably not enough time to do 1000calories either.

Jealousy is such an ugly emotion

I can't help it, I really can't. I assume every girl OH looks at, he's sizing up for Potential New Girlfriend Material, which means I feel like shit and get in a grump, so OH does too, so we're both in an arse with each other and neither of us will unbend. I can see us splitting up over it, but I can't help myself. I can't be happy for friends or family who have acheived anything fantastic, I just say well done and quietly seethe it isnt me, despite not doing anything to make it happen for myself.

I am jealous of people with money, people who are confident within themselves, people who seem to drift through life with no worries or problems at all.

Major changes may be happening at work. Owner of shop not happy with Big Manager so AM and MM having meeting with him a week on Monday. :crossfingers: my job title/pay gets bumped up a bit. SillyCow (SC) and StupidBoy (SB) working tomorrow. Might be horribly mean, might ignore pair of them and do all the fricking work myself.

Food wise, not good. Not Horribly Bad, but not angelic, like I'd hoped. 1000 calories on bike though.

1 salad I made myself - lettuce, rocket, cherry tomatoes, spring onion, ham, mozzerella, boiled egg white (yolk didnt cook properly) and salad cream. 1 kiwi fruit, 1 packet french fries. So far so good. THEN 5 Minstrals, half a bacon & cheese panini, half a satsuma, some of those rice cracker things, 4 Lindt chocolates, same tea as yesterday, 5 cups of tea, 3 Roses chocolates.

Had put 2lbs on this morning, so expecting more tomorrow :(

Shock

2lbs off today, so a stone in total :thud: since I started.

Only 300calories on the bike :blush: but as I was planning on allowing myself to succumb to cold and do bugger all, I'm quite pleased I did that.

1 ham & pie d'angloys minifrench stick, 3 Lindt chocolates, bowl yoghurt with rasp/blue/blackberries, 1 apple bake bar, 1 slice mozzerella, 1 huge bite of french stick & chocolate spread, half slice bread & flora. Tonight, sausages & pasta in tomato and marscapone sauce, dessert - 3 Lindt chocolates, 1 banana, cold custard. Half bottle rose wine

No weight loss this week

I'm sure of it, another bad day today.

4 cups of tea, 1 large biscuit with icing, limey chicken & pilau rice, 4 belgian chocolates, 3 biscuits with toffee & chocolate on, some Japanese Rice Crackers (whatever they are...) salt and vinegar French Fries, and a salad from some place which delivers - was great but about 1000000 calories. Lettuce, onions, peppers, gerkins, rocket, sweetcorn, chicken, egg, mozzerella.....It was good :nod:

I cant be arsed to type anymore, done my 1000 calories on bike, but why dont I have any self control? Tempted to do more later, but my arse HURTS.

I miss horses, but bizarrely, it's the mucking out I miss. How....odd.

Still in a constant foul mood :rolleyes:

Easiest £25 I've ever earnt....

Just been doing some market research, took an hour, was given a twix and a cup of tea, and was given £25 and sent merrily on my way. Result!

Food: (bad!!) half a bacon sandwich, pot of blue/rasp/blackberries, porridge, cheese & onion french fries, 5 cups of tea, beef, mashed potatoes, 2 yorkshire puddings, beans, carrots, gravy, mint sauce, 2 slices salami, 1 huge chunk pie d'angloys, 1 twix finger, 10 (TEN!!!) Roses chocolates, half bottle Rose Gallo wine.

Bad. Done 1200 calories. Nearly dead.

Work, soso.

Yummyyyyyyyyy

Bad Food Day :rolleyes:

am currently PLUS 2lbs to what I was on Wednesday so thought fuck it and have eaten Bad Stuff today :rolleyes:

4 cups of tea, roast beef (salmon cut, no fat, apparently) 2 HUGE yorkie puddings, brussells, carrots, tiny potato, mint sauce, gravy, porridge, pack maltesers, 2 spoons of beef stew, pack salt & vinegar french fries.

:eek:

Done 1000 calories on the bike though, and my pedometre would have me believe that I've burnt nearly 200c at work. I doubt it though.

hungry still :blush: and I am literally just finishing my last mouthful of Fat Tea.