Today has been lovely. Not for any particular reason, other than everyone was in a good mood, even my irritating customers were tempered by others who either openly laughed at or sympathised with me. Smelly wasnt wearing a bra (clearly she thought stu was in) and her nipples hurt because of the baby. No, darling, they hurt because you are wearing NO FUCKING BRA AT WORK. She's taken all day to white & carter and it still isnt done. Still, happy day, I dont care.
Gym was spectacularly successful - rower was ok-ish (couple of rubbish ones), x-trainer on level 13 for 10 mins AFTER a 41minute run/walk job in which I travelled 3.14miles. I'm not ENTIRELY sure I trust those treadmills in a distance sense, but that's what it said. Whatever, I did it, was knackered afterwards and am now having ice cream AND wine. Just as well I had a call to say s would do t'nag.
This is turning me mildly philosophical, but it's also been semi brought on by a conversation with the Gymbitch. The idea of this all was that I would feel more confident in myself and I've been SO looking forwards to looking thin, because obviously being thin is going to be the answer to everything that is wrong with me. However, the whole 'arms' thing is worse than it ever was, even at my veryvery worst, but only in the week after I come off my period. Still undecided about the happy pills effectiveness, will see next month I guess. I think I'm more insecure now than I ever was and it's not a good feeling.
Also, when do *I* get to see the whole thinness thing? no-one believes that i dont see it, I know they dont. Logically I do know I've lost a fair amount and that should also include size, but my mirror says it doesnt. So I'm actually frightened that I wont ever see when I'm too thin (ha). And what happens then?
I think I might want a fat scan doing at some point soon. I promise I wont cry afterwards (in the gym).
Anyway, happy day. We've laughed loads, worked hard and had fun. I really enjoyed today. The fact I've bought Wii Fit has helped, along with the copious amounts of wine, I think.
Happy happy happy.
Friday, 25 April 2008
Thursday, 24 April 2008
Today is a good day.
I'm not really sure why, to be honest, but after the week of feeling like utter shite today has been lovely. It's helped that it was t-shirt weather for most of the afternoon I think. Seems to have been winter for the longest time.
I felt so thin today, I really dont know why as I obviously havent dropped 10 dress sizes in a day, but it was nice. Shame then that I went to the gym, did badly, then went to Netto on the way up to pony and got some fake haribo. I only went in for a cucumber.
I think I have to accept the pretend happy pills arent really working. Stupid hormones.
Lesson on Pony on saturday, should be good. Ipod loaded with more music and more coming via amazon...
All I really needed was a lottery win and wii fit to be available and it'd be the most perfect day ever!
I felt so thin today, I really dont know why as I obviously havent dropped 10 dress sizes in a day, but it was nice. Shame then that I went to the gym, did badly, then went to Netto on the way up to pony and got some fake haribo. I only went in for a cucumber.
I think I have to accept the pretend happy pills arent really working. Stupid hormones.
Lesson on Pony on saturday, should be good. Ipod loaded with more music and more coming via amazon...
All I really needed was a lottery win and wii fit to be available and it'd be the most perfect day ever!
Wednesday, 23 April 2008
So horrible
Yesterday I was comparing myself to another girl at work, thinking 'at least now I've lost weight, i'm not as big as that anymore'... Then we got chatting about weight loss, cos although still big, she has lost loads since being at work just cos she's on her feet all the time. Turns out she's a size 18-20 :S So truly am not smaller than her in any way, shape or form!! Feel awful now, for a/ being smug that I was thinner than her, b/ cos it's a horrid thing to have done and c/i'm huge then if she's an 18-20. She's the same height as me so it's not that.
So, I've had a measure quickly this morning. Hips are fatter, calves arms and thighs have stayed the same and my waist is smaller. My wrists have got fatter as well :S
Was more positive yesterday because I'd lost some more weight but it's back on this morning.
Got a lesson on cobbit on Saturday. Kind of looking forward to it.
Gym tonight, then a night off ponies. I'm doing this morning so sja will sort her out in the eve.
Walked home from the yard last night down east chevin road. Took an hour :S
So, I've had a measure quickly this morning. Hips are fatter, calves arms and thighs have stayed the same and my waist is smaller. My wrists have got fatter as well :S
Was more positive yesterday because I'd lost some more weight but it's back on this morning.
Got a lesson on cobbit on Saturday. Kind of looking forward to it.
Gym tonight, then a night off ponies. I'm doing this morning so sja will sort her out in the eve.
Walked home from the yard last night down east chevin road. Took an hour :S
Tuesday, 22 April 2008
today has the potential to be a good day
I feel (even if I dont LOOK) thin this morning, I've lost everything and more from being a fat cow last weekend and I slept ok.
BUT i talk too much, I still look fat and nicola is coming over later. She'll tell me the yard Moll is at is awful and then I'll have to listen about her boy-woes.
I have 8.5 points left apparently. I might have wine tonight after all.
BUT i talk too much, I still look fat and nicola is coming over later. She'll tell me the yard Moll is at is awful and then I'll have to listen about her boy-woes.
I have 8.5 points left apparently. I might have wine tonight after all.
Monday, 21 April 2008
300 posts
blimey, who would have thought my boredom threshold would have held out so long?
Not a great day today, still bothered by the picture. Didnt stop me squashing tonight, she was a good girl, if a bit strong at times.
Work was...work.
Happy pills either really not kicking in or a load of bollocks. Not sure which.
Not a great day today, still bothered by the picture. Didnt stop me squashing tonight, she was a good girl, if a bit strong at times.
Work was...work.
Happy pills either really not kicking in or a load of bollocks. Not sure which.
Sunday, 20 April 2008
stupid stupid stupid
today had the potential to start off just as bad as yesterday although crisis seemed to have been averted my just restarting my machine before I switched the tills on. Work, all in all, wasn't that bad, just busy. C was a tit, as ever but we all got on well enough and I didnt have to shout at anyone today.
Got to yard, tacked ponio up and took her in the school. Chris biked up east chevin road (crazy boy) and took some pics of me on her. Two he deleted without even letting me see ('there's no point, you look awful') and the 3rd he let me see, but honestly, I look bigger than the horse. And the blurb that says those jodhs give a flattering sillouhette? I'll sue under trades descriptions.
So, I've got home, he's cooked a lovely big roast chicken dinner and it WAS really lovely. But afterwards, my tummy swelled that badly it looks distended. Huge. Back on vegetables tomorrow. Really don't want to go off to his parents now, I feel shit.
Bad do earlier. Think infected.
Got to yard, tacked ponio up and took her in the school. Chris biked up east chevin road (crazy boy) and took some pics of me on her. Two he deleted without even letting me see ('there's no point, you look awful') and the 3rd he let me see, but honestly, I look bigger than the horse. And the blurb that says those jodhs give a flattering sillouhette? I'll sue under trades descriptions.
So, I've got home, he's cooked a lovely big roast chicken dinner and it WAS really lovely. But afterwards, my tummy swelled that badly it looks distended. Huge. Back on vegetables tomorrow. Really don't want to go off to his parents now, I feel shit.
Bad do earlier. Think infected.
Saturday, 19 April 2008
I hated today
1. Got to yard early to find shetland already out so Molly couldnt go out. Kindly they'd hayed, watered and skipped her out, but it meant I'd had a journey up there for nothing, other than to tell her what a pretty pony she was.
2. Got to work, checked the broadband....nothing. Then my computer (master) crashed. So had to restart everything and ban everyone from touching anything. Got the broadband working again.
3. Credit card machine on the end till decided not to work. Had a tantrum, kicked some things and it worked again.
4. C is a tit. He cannot stay out of the office for longer than 5 minutes, which is no good when I am trying to concentrate because
5. S had put cash through on an account as a cheque, so I had no way of telling if the fact the till was up was because he'd put it through wrong or because people had paid their subs back. Finally finished banking at 11.30.
6. CUSTOMERS. Please don't expect me to make the decision for you. I don't tell you stuff because I like the sound of my own voice, I am telling (suggesting, whatever) you to do something because *I think* it will help your pet. I wont tell you to spend money needlessly, I wont recommend the most expensive product, if I recommend something it's because *I* think it's the best for whatever you want it to do .
7. STAFF. Don't take the piss, don't argue back when you're in the wrong and I wont get cross. Simple, no? You'd think.
8. COMPUTERS. It crashed again as I was doing the sat eve banking. Then I forgot to run the reports.
9. Got to the yard, wanted to ride, but no one about and no one likely to be about for a while. Yard is spooky (to horses and humans...) and I really didnt fancy riding on my own, esp as Cob has had a few days in. OH whinged about coming up (he had my saddle anyway), so I decided to lunge instead. Pony was a tit. BUT did some really lovely work, so, do I be pleased about what I did get or be frustrated at her 'I cant hear you...' behaviour?
10. I swear my phone got a text when I was on the way home, but it was as I was sliding it down. No text when I got home. This has frustrated me cos I want to know who it was from/what it said, or if I just imagined it, which is most likely.
11. I've just unsuccessfully managed to worm the cats. Well. They're wormed, but it's taken both chris and I a good 45 minutes and we're both covered in tuna.
12. I can't decide whether to get up early to the yard and ride before work (AND make sure she gets turned out), or get up early, turn out then go to the gym before work. The main thing that bothers me about riding before work is what if I lose track of time? I need to pick Dan up too. Plus...the idea of running for 45 minutes makes me want to poke my own eyes out. But I dont want to not go just cos I can't be arsed, because if I do that now I'll do it again....Basically, I'll be fucked off if I go, and fucked off if I dont.
13. I still havent cleaned my tack, made my lunch or got myself organised for tomorrow and I'm tired. :whinge:
I'm sure something good happened. No idea what it was though.
2. Got to work, checked the broadband....nothing. Then my computer (master) crashed. So had to restart everything and ban everyone from touching anything. Got the broadband working again.
3. Credit card machine on the end till decided not to work. Had a tantrum, kicked some things and it worked again.
4. C is a tit. He cannot stay out of the office for longer than 5 minutes, which is no good when I am trying to concentrate because
5. S had put cash through on an account as a cheque, so I had no way of telling if the fact the till was up was because he'd put it through wrong or because people had paid their subs back. Finally finished banking at 11.30.
6. CUSTOMERS. Please don't expect me to make the decision for you. I don't tell you stuff because I like the sound of my own voice, I am telling (suggesting, whatever) you to do something because *I think* it will help your pet. I wont tell you to spend money needlessly, I wont recommend the most expensive product, if I recommend something it's because *I* think it's the best for whatever you want it to do .
7. STAFF. Don't take the piss, don't argue back when you're in the wrong and I wont get cross. Simple, no? You'd think.
8. COMPUTERS. It crashed again as I was doing the sat eve banking. Then I forgot to run the reports.
9. Got to the yard, wanted to ride, but no one about and no one likely to be about for a while. Yard is spooky (to horses and humans...) and I really didnt fancy riding on my own, esp as Cob has had a few days in. OH whinged about coming up (he had my saddle anyway), so I decided to lunge instead. Pony was a tit. BUT did some really lovely work, so, do I be pleased about what I did get or be frustrated at her 'I cant hear you...' behaviour?
10. I swear my phone got a text when I was on the way home, but it was as I was sliding it down. No text when I got home. This has frustrated me cos I want to know who it was from/what it said, or if I just imagined it, which is most likely.
11. I've just unsuccessfully managed to worm the cats. Well. They're wormed, but it's taken both chris and I a good 45 minutes and we're both covered in tuna.
12. I can't decide whether to get up early to the yard and ride before work (AND make sure she gets turned out), or get up early, turn out then go to the gym before work. The main thing that bothers me about riding before work is what if I lose track of time? I need to pick Dan up too. Plus...the idea of running for 45 minutes makes me want to poke my own eyes out. But I dont want to not go just cos I can't be arsed, because if I do that now I'll do it again....Basically, I'll be fucked off if I go, and fucked off if I dont.
13. I still havent cleaned my tack, made my lunch or got myself organised for tomorrow and I'm tired. :whinge:
I'm sure something good happened. No idea what it was though.
Friday, 18 April 2008
Twice in 2 days
Gymmed again this morning.... 3 miles (41mins, not impressed, the idea is to get QUICKER), then rower and x-trainer...rubbish rower and even more rubbish x-trainer, had to put it down to level 10 cos I was knackered.
Might not ride :lazycow:
Not really much else to say...Managed to lock myself out of my internet banking earlier, rang up and apparently I failed on the questions (?!) so had to do an emergency trip back into town to get everything unlocked, cos they barred my cards and everything. Bit overkill but suppose I'd be grateful if someone had tried to pinch the 25p I have to my name. And they nearly didnt accept my passport and driving license as ID cos neither of them looked like me :rolleyes:
I'm really tired today as well, have really struggled to get motivated. Maybe 2 bottles of wine last night, although fun, was a bad idea?
Might not ride :lazycow:
Not really much else to say...Managed to lock myself out of my internet banking earlier, rang up and apparently I failed on the questions (?!) so had to do an emergency trip back into town to get everything unlocked, cos they barred my cards and everything. Bit overkill but suppose I'd be grateful if someone had tried to pinch the 25p I have to my name. And they nearly didnt accept my passport and driving license as ID cos neither of them looked like me :rolleyes:
I'm really tired today as well, have really struggled to get motivated. Maybe 2 bottles of wine last night, although fun, was a bad idea?
Thursday, 17 April 2008
sleepy and a little bit drunk
Am homealone as Chris at work catching up on stuff we just havent got time to do during work hours. Suspect I *should* be there with him, but tbh, my work is up to date and I'd just get bored and silly.
Went to the gym after work (smelly needs a new car, as her silver cross pram wont fit in her festa...oh and she's 'given up smoking' apparently. Wish I'd heard when she told the customer that, I'd have said something!!) and ran 3 miles, yay me. Well. I didnt run it all, but probably ran more than I walked, although def not in the last mile and a half. Took 39minutes, then did rower and x-trainer on level 13. Check me out. Went and did cob after, she didnt get her toes done today and clearly didnt go out. Raaah. Lunged her and she was a Good Pony. Love that horse, so much.
Really felt I deserved wine tonight, so have had 1 bottle and am about to open the second. Day off tomorrow. Was planning on going to the gym, but the thought of run/walking on the treadmill, on my own, for 40 minutes makes me want to poke my eyes out.
I'm knackered. Got blisters from the stupid rower.
Not itchyarms, yay me. Weigh day tomorrow. IAS tomorrow.
Went to the gym after work (smelly needs a new car, as her silver cross pram wont fit in her festa...oh and she's 'given up smoking' apparently. Wish I'd heard when she told the customer that, I'd have said something!!) and ran 3 miles, yay me. Well. I didnt run it all, but probably ran more than I walked, although def not in the last mile and a half. Took 39minutes, then did rower and x-trainer on level 13. Check me out. Went and did cob after, she didnt get her toes done today and clearly didnt go out. Raaah. Lunged her and she was a Good Pony. Love that horse, so much.
Really felt I deserved wine tonight, so have had 1 bottle and am about to open the second. Day off tomorrow. Was planning on going to the gym, but the thought of run/walking on the treadmill, on my own, for 40 minutes makes me want to poke my eyes out.
I'm knackered. Got blisters from the stupid rower.
Not itchyarms, yay me. Weigh day tomorrow. IAS tomorrow.
Wednesday, 16 April 2008
very very good....then incredibly bad. Oops.
Ah, well. I tried.
I jogged to and from the yard this morning....from the car which i parked at the top of the drive. Then after work I went to the gym (stef bailed out AGAIN) and Gymbitch made me run 2 miles on the treadmill...which I just managed (25mins - lots of walking tho), spent the whole time bitching at her needlessly... Especially as i think that if I hadnt done that, I would have a/ managed 3 miles (eventually) and b/ it was just unnecessary. Probably should have gone on the cross trainer too, but, lazycowitis today.
Didn't ride. Cob got a good groom instead. Getting a pedicure tomorrow, hopefully if farrier has time. I get a lie in too, so who bets I am up at 6am again?
Itchy arms. All kinds. Such an arse and utterly ridiculous.
I have a huge LONGING to get veryveryveryvery drunk. Not for any particular reason. And I'm buying Wii Fit. I'll save for it, it'll take 10 years, but I want it :brat:
So, the good - running 2 miles...and my slowest rower was 1.15m. Admittedly I did do that first before the treadmill. So, they were good.
The bad...2 slices toast & butter with steph, 1 creme egg and a bowl of posh waitrose ice cream.
The twatlike....itchy arms.
Such an ungrateful ratbag.
I jogged to and from the yard this morning....from the car which i parked at the top of the drive. Then after work I went to the gym (stef bailed out AGAIN) and Gymbitch made me run 2 miles on the treadmill...which I just managed (25mins - lots of walking tho), spent the whole time bitching at her needlessly... Especially as i think that if I hadnt done that, I would have a/ managed 3 miles (eventually) and b/ it was just unnecessary. Probably should have gone on the cross trainer too, but, lazycowitis today.
Didn't ride. Cob got a good groom instead. Getting a pedicure tomorrow, hopefully if farrier has time. I get a lie in too, so who bets I am up at 6am again?
Itchy arms. All kinds. Such an arse and utterly ridiculous.
I have a huge LONGING to get veryveryveryvery drunk. Not for any particular reason. And I'm buying Wii Fit. I'll save for it, it'll take 10 years, but I want it :brat:
So, the good - running 2 miles...and my slowest rower was 1.15m. Admittedly I did do that first before the treadmill. So, they were good.
The bad...2 slices toast & butter with steph, 1 creme egg and a bowl of posh waitrose ice cream.
The twatlike....itchy arms.
Such an ungrateful ratbag.
Tuesday, 15 April 2008
raaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh
Here's the crash, slightly earlier than predicted but here nevertheless. I wonder why? It is obviously hormonal, so am back on the happy pills so that'll be another month or so before they kick in again.
So after yesterdays Triumphant Hack, I decided to ride in the arena tonight... Must ask the owner if I can ride in the field, it's horribly deep, flooded and she leaves her jumps up. NOT conducive to having a relaxed, attention-paying cobbit. The clay pigeon shooting in the next field didnt help either, but it wasnt the most inspiring of rides. I rode badlybadly, I still ache from going round Danefield yesterday and she took advantage. Pretty much every evasion (bar bucking and rearing, thankfully) were thrown at me and I failed on everything.
I've lost my phone charger as well which isnt helping my mood. I may yet be communicating through facebook for a while unless I can buy an ubercheap charger off ebay.
Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
So after yesterdays Triumphant Hack, I decided to ride in the arena tonight... Must ask the owner if I can ride in the field, it's horribly deep, flooded and she leaves her jumps up. NOT conducive to having a relaxed, attention-paying cobbit. The clay pigeon shooting in the next field didnt help either, but it wasnt the most inspiring of rides. I rode badlybadly, I still ache from going round Danefield yesterday and she took advantage. Pretty much every evasion (bar bucking and rearing, thankfully) were thrown at me and I failed on everything.
I've lost my phone charger as well which isnt helping my mood. I may yet be communicating through facebook for a while unless I can buy an ubercheap charger off ebay.
Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Monday, 14 April 2008
quick blog
Urgh, I actually darent get on the scales, I really dont want to know. I'm guessing I'll be back at about 15.12 or so, which is disappointing, but Fat Fighters is most definately starting again tomorrow!!
Parents due round in a few minutes for our Last Supper before they go, with Chris' parents too, so an evening of fun.
Rode the Pony today, went round Danefield!! Am so proud of us both, we went alone and saw all sorts of dangerous monsters (a big lorry, a quad type affair, pushchairs, unruly dogs, other horses -nearly shit myself at that point as before she's spun and twatted about until I've ended up on the floor and she's gone to play with her new friends, but she completely ignored them- and there was a sheep feeder that got a suspicious snort) but then she had a paddy at a puddle? Que? Also had a moment where I parked her up some kind of cliff face while a runner came past on a really bad bit of ground, then when it came to coming off, instead of walking along to where the ground met the 'cliff face' Molly just decided to step off the side :rolleyes: Was only about a foot, but I had visions of coming off then LOL. Bless her she was a good girl, I rode like shit today and if she'd really argued the toss over anything, I'd have come off. Might do some schooling tomorrow, depends on if the school is still underwater. Oh! And I wore jodhpurs. Check me out. And no one obviously laughed either. Some man randomly let me out of the car park though, holding up a load of cars. No idea why as we were quite happy watching everyone go by (cob was pleased of the rest I think) then when I said thank you he utterly ignored me... Odd!!
So, I dont ache that much yet (famous last words) but am so chuffed, it;s unreal. Just hope I can do it again now!
Back to work tomorrow, don't wanna. I could get used to being a lady of leisure, very easily!! Must do lottery more often.
Parents due round in a few minutes for our Last Supper before they go, with Chris' parents too, so an evening of fun.
Rode the Pony today, went round Danefield!! Am so proud of us both, we went alone and saw all sorts of dangerous monsters (a big lorry, a quad type affair, pushchairs, unruly dogs, other horses -nearly shit myself at that point as before she's spun and twatted about until I've ended up on the floor and she's gone to play with her new friends, but she completely ignored them- and there was a sheep feeder that got a suspicious snort) but then she had a paddy at a puddle? Que? Also had a moment where I parked her up some kind of cliff face while a runner came past on a really bad bit of ground, then when it came to coming off, instead of walking along to where the ground met the 'cliff face' Molly just decided to step off the side :rolleyes: Was only about a foot, but I had visions of coming off then LOL. Bless her she was a good girl, I rode like shit today and if she'd really argued the toss over anything, I'd have come off. Might do some schooling tomorrow, depends on if the school is still underwater. Oh! And I wore jodhpurs. Check me out. And no one obviously laughed either. Some man randomly let me out of the car park though, holding up a load of cars. No idea why as we were quite happy watching everyone go by (cob was pleased of the rest I think) then when I said thank you he utterly ignored me... Odd!!
So, I dont ache that much yet (famous last words) but am so chuffed, it;s unreal. Just hope I can do it again now!
Back to work tomorrow, don't wanna. I could get used to being a lady of leisure, very easily!! Must do lottery more often.
Saturday, 12 April 2008
Podged....
I wont be able to ride soon, I'll be too fat again. We've eaten out for the last 2 nights, and big meals too. I darent get on the scales, but I know its going to be bad.
Pony is going to get lunged uber early tomorrow morning before we go trailing off relative visiting, then will hopefully ride on Monday :noplans:
Had lovely birthday, been very spoilt. Loads of books, cds, pair of joules breeches (have never worn breeches in my LIFE :unsure: - highly unflattering too), a charm bracelet with charms on as a combined parents&chris present...beautybox voucher (obv have turned too horsey already LOL), winestopper, Queen-related stuff, lottery ticket... LOL.
Parents driving me crazy though and I know how ungrateful I'm being, which makes me feel worse, but they can be so hurtful sometimes completely unintentionally.
FatFighters here I come again on Tuesday. Honest. Think I have eaten enough this weekend to last me all year.
Pony is going to get lunged uber early tomorrow morning before we go trailing off relative visiting, then will hopefully ride on Monday :noplans:
Had lovely birthday, been very spoilt. Loads of books, cds, pair of joules breeches (have never worn breeches in my LIFE :unsure: - highly unflattering too), a charm bracelet with charms on as a combined parents&chris present...beautybox voucher (obv have turned too horsey already LOL), winestopper, Queen-related stuff, lottery ticket... LOL.
Parents driving me crazy though and I know how ungrateful I'm being, which makes me feel worse, but they can be so hurtful sometimes completely unintentionally.
FatFighters here I come again on Tuesday. Honest. Think I have eaten enough this weekend to last me all year.
Thursday, 10 April 2008
I'm old :bawling:
It's my birthday tomorrow and I'm officially, properly, late 20's. Parents arrived just after 6pm and have spent the last 5 hours starting with 'What Went Wrong' at age 3 and we'd only got to age 16 by the time they left. I've been drinking and I suspect in the morning I'll be grateful for the ability to touch type.
Just had a text of a staff memeber to say they'll be sick tomorrow, told them to ring the other manager in the morning but I wasnt going in! I'm so mean
Saddle arrived today so took it up to the yard full of excitement to ride, then realised I have no stirrup leathers :angryfire: so borrowed some of stephs which were tiddy and my left foot slipped straight out of the stirrup as soon as I put any weight in it, so we trundled around the arena in walk & spook (really doesnt like the shetland :rolleyes: ) then I just walked up the lane on her....then crossed the road onto the bridleway... ended up turning round halfway down cos it was rush hour and I duidnt really fancy any arguments going the full way round. I dont think there would be, she was so cool.
Saddle is lush, I've obsessively cleaned everything twixe today, just cos its mostly all new I think but I love that saddle. It's wrong just how much I love it.
Have said I will turn out in the morning. Will regret that I think.
Just had a text of a staff memeber to say they'll be sick tomorrow, told them to ring the other manager in the morning but I wasnt going in! I'm so mean
Saddle arrived today so took it up to the yard full of excitement to ride, then realised I have no stirrup leathers :angryfire: so borrowed some of stephs which were tiddy and my left foot slipped straight out of the stirrup as soon as I put any weight in it, so we trundled around the arena in walk & spook (really doesnt like the shetland :rolleyes: ) then I just walked up the lane on her....then crossed the road onto the bridleway... ended up turning round halfway down cos it was rush hour and I duidnt really fancy any arguments going the full way round. I dont think there would be, she was so cool.
Saddle is lush, I've obsessively cleaned everything twixe today, just cos its mostly all new I think but I love that saddle. It's wrong just how much I love it.
Have said I will turn out in the morning. Will regret that I think.
Wednesday, 9 April 2008
Huge grins
Rode the pony tonight. First time in 6 months, first time at new yard....so I rode bareback cos my stupid saddle STILL hasnt arrived :grumps: Love the cobbit, such a good girl. Got a pic cos her old sharer came up to see her and I just have the biggest grin ever, look a total fool.
Gymmed tonight too (keen), was so rubbish it's unreal. Had a bit of a shit day foodwise, people bought me cakes cos it was my last day at work before my birthday so obviously I was obliged to eat them all, just as I am obliged to be on my 2nd bottle of wine now.
Sarah is here to see Chris and is irritating me cos she keeps going ON about how much weight I've lost. SHUT UP. I dont want to hear it. Logically I know I must have lost plenty of size - I know I have, I have the smaller clothes - but I dont see it and it makes me uncomfortable that other people DO. Dont look at me, I dont like it.
Want my saddle to come.
Gymmed tonight too (keen), was so rubbish it's unreal. Had a bit of a shit day foodwise, people bought me cakes cos it was my last day at work before my birthday so obviously I was obliged to eat them all, just as I am obliged to be on my 2nd bottle of wine now.
Sarah is here to see Chris and is irritating me cos she keeps going ON about how much weight I've lost. SHUT UP. I dont want to hear it. Logically I know I must have lost plenty of size - I know I have, I have the smaller clothes - but I dont see it and it makes me uncomfortable that other people DO. Dont look at me, I dont like it.
Want my saddle to come.
Tuesday, 8 April 2008
Decisions. Maybe.
Right. I need to stop being such a wimp. Pony was A Very Good Girl tonight - I forgot the gun club are based next door and they were clay pigeon shooting tonight. Took her in the arena to lunge and had a prancy, idiotic pony who thought she was walking hot coals for about 5 minutes, then she got bored and worked properly :wub:
Wanted to get on her tonight, just for 5 minutes, but no stupid saddle.
So, she was such a good girl. I have no reason to believe she wont be out hacking, but *I* will tense and she will react. I'll just take a hip flask with me maybe.
More decisions - The Diet (with subheading The Gym)... Will get the parentals visit out the way then stop eating. Was meant to go to the gym tomorrow night, but friend has already bailed out on me :rolleyes: so will go on my own, get OH to pick me up, hopefully with saddle and go in the arena for a toddle about.
There are no lights up at the yard so winter-riding will be impossible unless I can hire the arena at the bottom of the lane (on a bridleway, so no roads in the dark). So my gym membership will be used far more over winter, I'm guessing. I'll still try to go at least 3 times a week in summer though. Having said that, I didnt get back till half 7 tonight, but much of that was just fannying about with Cob.
Havent dared get on the scales and will wait for weight to be under 15stone before I have another fat scan. Is that cheating?
Wanted to get on her tonight, just for 5 minutes, but no stupid saddle.
So, she was such a good girl. I have no reason to believe she wont be out hacking, but *I* will tense and she will react. I'll just take a hip flask with me maybe.
More decisions - The Diet (with subheading The Gym)... Will get the parentals visit out the way then stop eating. Was meant to go to the gym tomorrow night, but friend has already bailed out on me :rolleyes: so will go on my own, get OH to pick me up, hopefully with saddle and go in the arena for a toddle about.
There are no lights up at the yard so winter-riding will be impossible unless I can hire the arena at the bottom of the lane (on a bridleway, so no roads in the dark). So my gym membership will be used far more over winter, I'm guessing. I'll still try to go at least 3 times a week in summer though. Having said that, I didnt get back till half 7 tonight, but much of that was just fannying about with Cob.
Havent dared get on the scales and will wait for weight to be under 15stone before I have another fat scan. Is that cheating?
Monday, 7 April 2008
So tired
I've slept though the last couple of nights. Think the answer is no coffee, bugger. Miss my coffee.
Even slept last night, despite the 4am alarm :sigh: Was worth it tho, we were down there (MK) by 9am and after some kerfuffle and 5 minutes where molly said 'will I wont I go on the box' were back on the road and home by 1pm. And THEN... I went to the gym. Was a bit rubbish though, it's the treadmill that knackers me out. Didnt do it today cos I had new(ish) trainers on and they're a bit too small (bless the christopher for trying though) and I thought they'd make my feet hurt so I did the bike instead and got numb toes on there. Plus the bike is BOR-ing.
So at least I did some exercise to counteract the sat-on-my-arse-all-day ness & bread/chocolate chip cookies.
Knackered now, have already fallen asleep in the bath and still have much to sort out. No idea how to work logistics of getting to the yard-work out :unsure:
Even slept last night, despite the 4am alarm :sigh: Was worth it tho, we were down there (MK) by 9am and after some kerfuffle and 5 minutes where molly said 'will I wont I go on the box' were back on the road and home by 1pm. And THEN... I went to the gym. Was a bit rubbish though, it's the treadmill that knackers me out. Didnt do it today cos I had new(ish) trainers on and they're a bit too small (bless the christopher for trying though) and I thought they'd make my feet hurt so I did the bike instead and got numb toes on there. Plus the bike is BOR-ing.
So at least I did some exercise to counteract the sat-on-my-arse-all-day ness & bread/chocolate chip cookies.
Knackered now, have already fallen asleep in the bath and still have much to sort out. No idea how to work logistics of getting to the yard-work out :unsure:
Friday, 4 April 2008
definately crazy
Today I have jogged/walked round Yeadon Tarn twice (took 20-ish minutes, shockingly I didnt check properly), then I went to the gym, I was going to do my normal treadmill stuff, but just walked for a mile on a 4% incline & at 4mph. Might not do so much for the fat shifting, but hey, I went running for that.... it's more than I would have done. Then I did a rubbish rower and on the x-trainer. Did do some arms, but started texting people so gave up and went home. Made OH come get me. Oops.
Still not sleeping greatly, but I genuinely dont know what it is that's making me so wide awake. Overexcitement, I think is part of it, but other than that? Money... Bought the baggage a new saddle this morning (ouch, better fucking fit) which at the minute will take approximately a million years to pay off, my weight, I hate it. It's not shifting and I can't stop eating. Have wine now, and if I still dont sleep tonight I'm having my migraine pills tomorrow night.
We've arranged to go out with friends tomorrow night with friends for a meal, I really dont want to go now. I don't hugely want to eat in front of people I dont know that well and I'm not drinking (not if I need the pills). I hatehatehate one of the boys that's going and I can think of about a million things I'd rather be doing.
Girl from the yard came down to work this morning with my keys - really must go look at it :blush: but have a backup ready, so that if it's hugely awful, The Pony only has to stay there one night then I can walk her to another yard. Sounds a bit too good to be true though, 40 per week inc haylage & shavings, use of 20x60 arena, showjumps (it's a showjumping yard), if I'm not there by a certain time in the morning, she'll get put out by the (one) other livery and YO will bring her in and check her every night. Doesnt sound like DIY to me, but I'm not complaining :lol: Think I'm going to have to be brave at hacking alone though, she said no one really did but there's no way I'm having her on the chevin and then not hacking on it :lol:
Please let me sleep tonight, I'm REALLY tired, but also wide awake, if that makes sense.
Food:
1 salami slice, 2 x laughing cow light, 1 x rice cake, 1 packet of crisps, 1 slice melon, 1 chocolate rice crispy cake with 2 mini eggs, chris stew, yorkshire pudding, chris-brioche, nutella, 1 bottle white wine.
Still not sleeping greatly, but I genuinely dont know what it is that's making me so wide awake. Overexcitement, I think is part of it, but other than that? Money... Bought the baggage a new saddle this morning (ouch, better fucking fit) which at the minute will take approximately a million years to pay off, my weight, I hate it. It's not shifting and I can't stop eating. Have wine now, and if I still dont sleep tonight I'm having my migraine pills tomorrow night.
We've arranged to go out with friends tomorrow night with friends for a meal, I really dont want to go now. I don't hugely want to eat in front of people I dont know that well and I'm not drinking (not if I need the pills). I hatehatehate one of the boys that's going and I can think of about a million things I'd rather be doing.
Girl from the yard came down to work this morning with my keys - really must go look at it :blush: but have a backup ready, so that if it's hugely awful, The Pony only has to stay there one night then I can walk her to another yard. Sounds a bit too good to be true though, 40 per week inc haylage & shavings, use of 20x60 arena, showjumps (it's a showjumping yard), if I'm not there by a certain time in the morning, she'll get put out by the (one) other livery and YO will bring her in and check her every night. Doesnt sound like DIY to me, but I'm not complaining :lol: Think I'm going to have to be brave at hacking alone though, she said no one really did but there's no way I'm having her on the chevin and then not hacking on it :lol:
Please let me sleep tonight, I'm REALLY tired, but also wide awake, if that makes sense.
Food:
1 salami slice, 2 x laughing cow light, 1 x rice cake, 1 packet of crisps, 1 slice melon, 1 chocolate rice crispy cake with 2 mini eggs, chris stew, yorkshire pudding, chris-brioche, nutella, 1 bottle white wine.
reasons i cant sleep
1. weight
2. money
3. IAS
4. worried I wont do the pony justice now!!
5. Work
6. letting people down
7. just being a bitch in general
I'll leave it there for now
2. money
3. IAS
4. worried I wont do the pony justice now!!
5. Work
6. letting people down
7. just being a bitch in general
I'll leave it there for now
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