doo-wop, ba-ba doo-wop....OBLIVION!

Terrorvision were fab and I've been trying to convince people to come with me tonight to see them in Newcastle but no one's playing :( Sang along to it all, the acoustic bit was fab (Tequila? Acoustic??) and I have utterly fallen in love all over again. I went to buy a t-shirt at the end and the woman told me she was sorry, but they only had large shirts left. Got a bit :( cos I thought she meant it'd be too small but Chris said she thought I'd need a medium, which was nice :D got it and am now sat here wearing it. Have itched though at some point :( Don't remember (when do I) doing it, maybe I do it at night?

Been up and ridden this morning. It was REALLY windy and she was a pain in the arse but we had fun anyway. She had fun arsing about in front of jumps and I was just pleased to have ridden. I#m not feeling gymmy today, so I'll *think* about going for a run later. I'm not sure how much further I'll get with that thinking tbh, I'm really tired, struggled to stay awake in the bath :blush:

Must. Stop. Eating. Come on, get with it... Thin....

So tired...

Last night I did the town run, but felt good, so added a bit more on. Mapped it when I got home (I walked quite a bit of the last bit tho) and it was 3.44miles - 38minutes. I was shattered. Got in the shower, ate my tea then fell into bed and slept until 5.30 this morning.

Still tired now and I've been to the garage (to fill the car up) but accidentally bought a HUGE bag of malteasers. Have eaten the lot and feel sick now. Stupid.

Got to wait for the boiler man before going shopping. But yay, Terrorvision tonight!!

Challenge Queen Rach

I ache....

Day 1 challenge was 0.5mile run 2% incline, 50 close pull downs (30kg), 50 sit ups, 500m row level 10 X 2, then another 0.5mile run on a 2% incline. Did that in 29minutes and my arms ached like hell yesterday. Picking up the phone was an effort. Yesterdays was 2000m row (8m17s), 400m run, 15 sit ups X 5, then 1 mile 3.5mph on a 15% incline (20mins = 1.17m). I can move this morning, but it wont be a good idea to sit still for long today lol. I'm going to go for a nice 'easy' run tonight, same one I did Monday. Hell, I might even attempt to do it twice (4 miles then). I'm not sure I want to know what day 3 challenge might be...

Chris bought my christmas present yesterday... a new laptop, am HIGHLY excited - squeeeeeeeee. It's ruby red. I picked that colour. Could have had bubble gum pink.

The boots I got Vickie for Christmas arrived today...Sadly instead of the boots, they appear to have turned into a full neck stable rug. Would fit a fathorse but I'm a good girl and I'm ringing them later. Poor person who bought it paid the extra for next day delivery too. At least these boots have a while before they're due to turn up.

I need to do some sums to try and work out how soon my credit card and work account can be paid off. Hopefully by April. I might think again in March/April time, if I've been able to move FatHorse about maybe getting a sharer again. I'm already worrying about what might happen with her over Christmas while I'm away. Might just pay Fanny to sort her out and risk getting everyone offended.

rant, blah, bollocks, fuck, wahhhh

Lack of sleep last night hasnt helped current mood, then I took FatHorse round the triangle, something I've refused to do before now because I thought it was frankly, dangerous. I was right and nearly got the pair of us killed. She was a star though. Catching some pikeys robbing some horse feed out the warehouse, and putting 2lbs on at FatClub has topped the lot off.

Even winning £100 on premoum bonds (I'm so cool) can't cheer me up.

Bollocking bastard fucking hell.

Bah

I can't sleep.

Work wasn't overly productive yesterday, must do better today. Wish you could disable certain sites apart from at particular times, ahemfacebookahem.

Went up to the yard after work, intending to ride, despite the wind and the fact it was trying to be dark. Got her all tacked up and was about to lead her out the barn when the farrier turned up to shoot some (nonexistent, thanks to FatHorse) ducks. So, high winds + dark x shooting = FatHorse getting untacked again :wimp: I wouldnt have got anything productive out of her anyway, especially considering her reaction when inside the barn. When I get up again this morning (assuming I can go back to sleep...) we'll go in the school. It's raining now but if it comes to it we can just go on a 20m circle I guess.

Anyway, left the yard and went down to the gym, not exactly full of enthusiasm, but needing to do some form of exercise. Got there and it was packed, so walked out again :blush: Seriously, I've never seen it so full, even in the post-Christmas guilt trip. Got home and decided to do the run I did with Fanny the other day. Walked up to the top of W.Drive, then ran ALL the way nearly. I think I walked for the length of 2 street lamps (maybe 3?) up Farnley Lane. Took me 22minutes. Nike+ says it's 1.33miles, mapmyrun said it was 2miles exactly. So, yay!! Suddenly running 3 miles doesnt feel so out of reach anymore, although Swinsty, I think I have some kind of mental block over it. It's that first bridge, I swear.

FatClub tonight, I'm not hopeful tbh, unless I suddenly get a big bout of sickness before I go. Serves me right for having such an amazing weight loss last week. Going to go to the gym before, but think I will do intervals rather than trying to run without stopping again. Do I do incline or fast? Fast I find easier, so it's a bit of a cheat really.

I've booked a week off at the end of November and then I'm going to be paid for the last of the holiday I havent taken, which, provided I can keep my sweaty little paws off the money, it will go towards paying off my work account. Hopefully on Friday I'll get some money back from 'The Christmas Fund' to pay a bit of what I got from Body Shop to take some ff my credit card too. Technically Molly has enough in her account now (don't tell her, she'll invent some kind of disease) to pay off some of my credit card/account for me but I'd rather leave it there for emergencies. I have £10 now to last me till Friday. Stu won the bonus ball at work, irritatingly. I wanted that, it was nearly £200. That could have paid for something LOL.

Shame really it's dark, I'm wide awake and quite fancy riding. That would be highly organised, to have gone up and ridden already by 6am. One day, when I'm rich and I have my own place, that naturally has an indoor school (with lights) I'll be able to do that... Yeah, I'm just dreaming now.

Sunday

Fuck me, it's cold.

Been to gym (treadmill = 16mins, 1.6miles, 1 min 4mph 90secs 7.5mph, rower = 10 x 30secs 45spm 10secs rest, x-trainer = 11mins,1 min fast 30secs rest 167calories, also did some sit ups and thin arms (reverse pull down 40kgs & hateful arm thing 2 x 3kg weights), was there ages (clearly) and am about to go to Danefield with Fanny and the dogs. Havent ridden.

There was a lady in the gym the other night, I'm sure I've seen her in FatClub but she congratulated me on how much weight I'd lost, then asked me how long it had taken (is taking...). Told her it will be 2 years at the end of next month and she said 'oh... well I've lost 5 stone since June'. I'm pleased for her and all, but am so jealous. And yes it made me feel a bit shit. 5 stone in 4 months. Fuck me.

It was Sues bodyshop party last night. It wasnt as bad as I was expecting actually. Linda Dawn and Sue have all got me nice stuff from there as Christmas presents and I got something for Nicola and Claire from there along with stuff for Linda Dawn and Sue. Spent too much really, but it is Christmas presents....

Must ride in the morning, will read my schooling book for some inspiration and will maybe put the pelham on her for some 'oi, I AM here...' reminders. This is if it doesnt rain over night, if it does the arena will be unusable. I wonder how long a quick Danefield would take actually? Too long I think. I would do the triangle, but the first bit of Yorkgate would be far too dangerous. I rang the Potential New Yard again, they're building some more stables and will ring me when they're finished. Hopefully. In the meantime, I'm not hating it AS much up there....

Christopher off to France in 3 weeks for some more wine.

No less than I deserve really

And I (and Chris) absolutely predicted it too. In fact Chris outright TOLD me that I ruined things with friends by being crazy and I didnt quite believe him. All ok now but is too late, but also means some people arent who I thought they were, which I find far more upsetting and wish I hadnt let so many things go.

Anyway. To thinness!

Tried TAMs dress on again today. I think it does fit better, but my flabby belly shows far too much, dress is still tight over it. Plus I dont think I'd trust a strapless bra in it. Chris had to agree and he also says that 7 weeks isnt long enough to get rid of the bellyness so we've agreed I'll find something else to wear. What I have no idea. New Look has failed me and I like some Monsoon stuff but they are WAY out of my price range. Plus TAMs dress is Monsoon so it seems a bit pointless replacing it with something from there, because I dont want to go up a size if that makes sense.

I can't make up my mind about whether to gym today or not. I've been up and done the horses but not ridden. I should ride later but dont want to go for a hack, and field and school both still wet. Bah. Well..... must motivate self... urgh housework

Blahhhhhh

I MUST start blogging again properly and writing down what exercise I do each day. I've forgotten what I've done during the week and thats not great.

The gym was rubbish today. I tried to recreate Tuesdays amazing running-all-the-time run, but managed 5 minutes before giving up and doing fast intervals instead, rather than the hard, incline stuff. Rower was average and cross trainer was slow. Managed situps and a minute of a normal plank. Also did arms.

Not massively impressed with myself at work or in general really. I am obnoxious sometimes.

IdiotHorse (and Good Day Yesterday Shocker)

Yesterday I got to the yard to bring her in at lunchtime (trying to turn her into ThinHorse) to find the little shit hock deep in the pond at the bottom of the field, eating reeds off the island. Her wellies were sopping and she sported highly attractive black fetlocks, white cannon bones and black to the knee/hock yesterday afternoon. Turns out there's a man who comes shooting and he puts corn on that island to encourage the ducks there. Apparently he can't work out why he's not had that many birds this year. I think I've found out why.

Anyway, brought her in, went back to work and then to the gym afterwards... Had my BEST EVER run - 2.5miles in 25minutes dead. I walked for 2 minutes. Was nearly dead by the end and I made Fanny take a picture on her phone to prove it, then I texted everyone with it :geek: Bit cross though, in that I had to stop so I wasnt late for FatClub, but I KNOW I could have made it to 3miles. Probably not in 30minutes, but near enough. FatClub though...think (hope) my weightloss mojo is back...had lost 7lbs from last Tuesday. And yes, I am eating.And not being sick.Wish I could do that every week!! So naturally Chris and I went for pizza for tea. Was SO good. Garlic bread was the best ever.

So, yeah, good day yesterday.

Today...not so good, but its still cool cos yesterday was my favourite day of this week so far. Went on a hack with FatHorse this morning, went the 'wrong' way round the bridleway. Raced a cow (technically, I think it was chasing us) then had a full on fit at a (stationery) 4x4 with an (empty) sheep trailer attatched. Was horrible at the time... First we were in the bush, then the middle of the road (cars behind) then I made the mistake of whacking her, so we had PROPER toys out of the pram for about a minute - felt like a lifetime. Had to stop any thought of doing anything effective and just cling on. Then the little fucker finished her tantrum and strolled on as if nothing had happened!!! We were nearly home as well, like 100metres from the turning back to the yard.

Got to work...had an ok day, bit boring really and just had a really shit gym session, although I DID do 2000m on the rower in 8.30minutes. Itched though, which was shit. And Chris brought some Ben and Jerrys home, which was a bit rubbish lol, although am still within points. Going to go running round Cambridge tomorrow night with Fanny.

Am determined to be in the dress Tam gave me for the Christmas party. I need a strapless bra though, which could be ...difficult. I have 7 weeks to lose 2 dress sizes. I am assured it's doable. Had a FatScan tonight which shows almost no difference to last time I had one, which is shit. Next time will be better.

So tired...

Have had a kind of rubbish gym session, a fab ride - schooling - when she wasnt rushing she was Very Good Indeed and then went to Swinsty with Fanny and the dogs. Took us 50minutes, which was rubbish, but hey...3 workouts today. I'm knackered now though.

Not got nags to do in the morning either, probably just as well, I'm feeling a bit rubbish now. Thought it was dehydration earlier, but I've drunk nearly 6litres of fluid this afternoon/evening, so can't be, surely? FatHorse is playing out in the field tonight, big :crossfingers: she doesnt colic overnight. She was such a star today, was SO proud of her.

OK food, have pointed everything I've eaten and am still 0.5point inside. Think thats probably actually been used up by the generous helping of Nutella I had though. Tomorrow have Shreddies & porridge for lunch, along with the obligatory pink & whites and rice cakes. Must. Be. Good. Can't decide whether to attempt an evening ride tomorrow, ask Fanny if she wants to go for a run, then some sit ups at the gym afterwards or just go running on my own. Oh, these decisions I have. OR I might even gym tomorrow morning. Depends on what time I get up/how I feel. Was awake from 4am to 5am this morning then went back to bed, the next time I looked at the clock it was 9am. Poor ponies.

Or, I might just do nothing :rolleyes:

Woman about the yard never phoned back. Will try again tomorrow morning.

Right. Enough.

This is ridiculous. While I don't want to get back into my shitness of over summer, I DO need to get that self control back. I'm getting lazy in the gym, I'm not running as much and it's all rubbish. I've lost 8 stone, I 'only' have 4 stone left to lose, I can't give up now.

So. A goal.

I'd like to be 13stone by Christmas. Preferably less, but, you know.

I'm not running with Tam on a Monday night anymore, but that doesnt stop me going. Still going to the gym with Stef on a Wednesday and Thursday evening. I like to gym on a Sunday morning. Depending on my mood, Tuesday before FatClub helps. Plus riding. I'd like to start swimming again too. When I'm not entirely sure.

I'm hopefully going to look at a new yard for FatHorse over the weekend, if there's space there. Hopefully it won't be a rat infested flea pit, I've stalked it a bit on GoogleEarth, it seems nice enough. It means hacking round town but at least it will be lit, so if the arena is flooded, I can still ride. Havent told Steph yet I'm thinking of moving. Can't imagine it going down overly well. It's on my way to work too. According to mapmyrun it's 1.7miles from home across the park, and I could hack with Stef and Noddy too, as well as people from the yard, if I like them. It's cheaper too and my car won't have to struggle up the Chevin anymore. So, I've pretty much convinced myself I want to go, without even seeing it. They might be nutters.

My finances are a bit shit at the minute, but I've got stuff for sale at the minute, if it doesnt go on SU/ebay I'll attempt a car boot or something. Was going to put the money from the horsey stuff in FatHorses account, try and get it to £300 as a 'buffer' for emergency vets/checks etc, then use the £30pw I put in it to go against my work account (currently £700, eek) or my credit card (darent admit what's on that). And anything non-horsey I sell can go straight against my card or work account. Have been giving Chris £20pw (for, ooh, 2 weeks) to go in a Christmas Present account, so will keep on with that. I've got Fannys present, got her a Nike+ kit. Havent even thought about what to get Chris. He might end up with socks yet.

Urgh, whingey, meh....

Hopefully this is just cos I'm over tired and I've eaten too much today.

Came back from Evies last night (top night), straight to bed and then alarm went off at some ridiculous hour so I could drive to Birmingham for the trade fair. Wasn't bad, think I might have been flashed on one of those average speed check things though :S Actually, the fair was really good. I should have spent tonight going through it all and sorting it out but all I've actually managed to do is bath, eat and watch telly. Rubbish. If I'd got organised a bit better I could have gone to the gym before it shut but I...didnt. Also clearly have not been for a run OR ridden. Will ride and gym tomorrow. Honest.

I hate liars. Why tell me one thing, then for someone else manage to do the one thing you can't do for me? Fine, so you dont think enough of me to do xy or z, but please dont lie about it. It always gets found out, and because I'm such a chicken I'll never say anything to you, or confront you over it, so I'll just write about it here, where I know you'll never read and twist myself into getting an ulcer or some such bollocks over it all.

And now Iceland.... I want to go, I really do, but I'm going to miss my pony and my kittens and I am SCARED about the flight :( and I can see myself getting horribly worked up over it all and not enjoying any of it.

happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts

acheyachey

Dont know why but moving is an effort this morning. Knee is still sore and leaking mank which isnt helping.

Rode the FatHorse last night, she was a good girl and poo picked her field. Will finish it off later today. Also had an emergency eyebrow wax last night lol. Can't decide whether I want to ride or not - was meant to be going for a walk-only hack with Sue but she's bailed out on me (not entirely unexpected), and now the thought of schooling makes me want to poke my eyes out and can't really be arsed with hacking on my own. But then, I want to ride before I go away, although I suppose I can Monday at some point and Tuesday morning.

Having my hair done this afternoon, very exciting. Going to GLEE tomorrow, can't really be arsed but never mind. I'm going to go uber early, aim to get there for when it opens and then be done and home by 6pm. Aims and all that. Never driven to Brum before, bit nervous lol.

I'm going to be ill for Iceland, I know it. My head is fuzzy.

Have packed most of the stuff I'm taking. Thought 20kgs would be hard to keep within, but :touchwood: i seem to have kept it under.

As for dieting, exercise etc.... Since I fell over (I;m still so embarrassed) I had 2 rubbish gym sessions, Wednesday I should just not have bothered going. Food has been eaten, a lot of it as well. Yesterdays gym wasnt so bad, could be better but I say that every time and never push myself hard enough. I should really go today or for a run, but as with riding I can't pull myself together enough to go. I've got so lazy :( but I know if I go and dont do it any quicker/better than any previous runs I'll be rubbish. Tomorrow I wont get to go to the gym although depending on when I get back, I might go for a run. I can gym monday and tuesday hopefully.

I cant remember if I put that those bras I got from La Senza on tinterweb didnt fit - I took them back yesterday and was going to get more bras to replace them. Nothing fit :bawling: The only ones that vaguely fit (cupsize) were way too big in the back. I'd forgotten the card I'd paid for them on, so now I have #40 vouchers which i can only spend on pants cos nothing else fits me.

Shockingly this hasnt increased the self loathing, just means I can't stop eating. PLEASE kick back in soon, I'm putting weight on like you would not believe.

Urgh

Stupid manky knee. Got greeny-yellow shit coming out of it...nice.... Still hurts to do the rower, get on and off machines and....stuff. It's only a graze, how can it hurt so much?!

Was meant to be my day off tomorrow, but have to go in - Stu forgot that K had already booked the day off and let V have a days holiday, so I'm doing a half day and not going in at all Tuesday.... Just as well cos I'll be utterly over excited lol.

FatHorse got sedated today to have her legs done. Nicola sedated her, stayed to make sure she was ok, then left and the little shit (Moll, not Nicola) came round seconds after N left. So we twitched her and got her done. I'm so jealous, she has uber skinny legs now. Wish my legs got thin just by shaving. She looks so smart now. Well, her legs do, the rest of her resembles a yeti but I'm not clipping her till I get back from holiday.

Still thinking about yards etc. Is making my head hurt. There is a potential in Otley, which sounds good. No lights on the arena though, but I could ride on a morning, and there are lights in the barn (there arent at current yard). I dont know, am trying not to get too overexcited. Not doing anything till I get back from holiday anyway.

Food has been shit. Gym wasnt so bad as last night, but was painful. Stupid knee. Dont want to go to GLEE on Sunday on my own :( Bah humbug.

Wish I could get back into being good again.

Bah

Self loathing isnt really kicking in as I'd like. Put 1lb on at FatClub yesterday :( I have a sneaking, horrid suspicion it will all kick in while we're away and I'll be too busy being a grumpy arsed bitch to enjoy the holiday and ruin it for the pair of us. Obviously I will try and avoid that.

My knee hurts :( Stupid grazed knee. Why is it always the little things that hurt most?

Rubbish.

So, about that self loathing and hatred...

Can I have it back please?

Went for a run this morning....was both successful and highly unsuccessful.... Successful in that I ran up more hills than Saturday AND it took me a minute or so less (hey, it's less) BUT I also fell over :hugeblush: and have a rubbish ankle that hurts to walk on and a grazed knee which hurts to have clothes on.

FatClub was rubbish, another 1lb on, but instead of channelling the hatred, Chris and I went to the Royalty for tea instead. Was nice, but not as amazing as we like. Still, I have got drunk so i am happy.

Need to ride a FatHorse in the morning - clearly safer than running!!!

There we go!

Self loathing and hatred has kicked in at last, just in time for my holiday. Better late than never I suppose. Hasnt stopped me eating a sandwich, having dessert or hot chocolate though :rolleyes: Have been a dick.

Had a fat scan. Same weight as way back in July.

La Senza shopping arrived, doesnt fit.

Work....I'm not seeing I'm getting into my new office any time soon.

Fat Fighters tomorrow, MUST go. Can't decide what to do, work - QUICK Mol then gym & FF, or swap Mol and FF?

Oh these decisions. And no, I'm still no closer to knowing what to do about yards.

stiff, achey, grumpy....

Pffft, I don't like squat thrusts. I can't move. Well, I can't decide if it's them or the toetap whatsits. I havent done any squat thrusts today, but HAVE done the toetaps and could barely move afterwards. Am very stiff now!!

Gym wasnt as good as it could have been, but did do homework (bar squat thrusts & the planks) and did thin-arms too. So happyish.

FatHorse attempted to tell me she had colic today, but I disbelieved her and tacked up anyway :bitch: Funnily enough, as soon as she realised we werent going in the school/on the normal bridleway ride she forgot about being sick. She was ok on the triangle (was only going to do a short ride in case she WAS sick so made sure was in yelling distance of Steph, Carl and Beth at all times :lol: ). Got back 'home' and she was full of it, so decided to carry on and do the bridleway ride backwards. We had a mini tantrum because I made her go past the track to home, then was tense and ridiculous for a good while after. Then noticed a Discovery coming up (slowly) but there was a little red car tucked right in behind it, looked like it had come up fast, then was jut going to scoot out and overtake as we passed. Turned out it was being towed, but the disco braked which little-red-car obviously wasnt expecting so the tow chain clanked on the floor as we were level with it - FatHorse did the biggest spook ever, then picked herself up by bucking then stopping dead and was clearly trying to decide whether to head for home (but that would involve following The Monster of feck off the way we were headed, so I made her mind up for her by booting her in the ribs and off we went. Somewhat slower than I expected/intended as we now had to spook EVERY step in case there was something else to be concerned about. Got very cross and she got Big Smacks. All this was witnessed by Carls brother - ooops. Was telling him the other day what a good pony she was, and his young daughter was more than welcome to come and tootle about the school on her. Ah well, dont suppose that will happen now LOL.

oooh, I do ache. Will school the little monster tomorrow. Can't decide whether to put spurs on or not. I'm not entirely convinced my legs are stable enough, especially in canter. Need some James Bond style ones, which could be built into my boots and everytime I put my leg on it activated them. I'm insane.

Must go for a run tomorrow, after work. If I can move. Need to stop being a lazy cow. I may be GOING to the gym and getting sweaty, but I dont seem to be progressing very much, if at all.

Been a while....

And not much new to report, as ever.

MUST get back on the wagon with food and exercise, I've let myself become lazy and undisciplined this last week. I have homework from the gym - because I won't do it AT the gym, it's embarrasing - but I did it tonight... Turns out I HATE squat thrusts. They HURT. Only managed half the time I was meant to. And I fell over doing the side planks. Amused Chris by using the cat as a weight for the twistyturny stuff, but she objected so used 2 bottles of vodka instead.

Have moved FatHorses FatCamp, onto the hilly bit next to the arena, so hopefully it wont get so wet/cut up and she can stay out for longer and I wont have to worry about her paws. I'm still undecided about what to do about yards. Technically I have to go up twice a day anyway, but the arena has mostly washed away and what's left is still flooded. Plus there's no indoor lights to muck out in (headtorch needed maybe). I dont know, I really dont. I know I'm better off than some people, but I have been so spoilt by other yards I've been on.

Went shopping today in Hgate. Chris was adament we were buying matching winter jackets, but I managed to customise mine and it ended up being cheaper than his (ha!), so I got some clever thing that can be about a billion different things, but I'm just going to use it as a hat, and hope it doesnt make me itch. Also got some sunglasses (Bloc) and a big handbag which can be used for my hand luggage on the flight :biggrin: Oh and La Senza pants. I've just looked on the site and apparently I fit into their bras. Hmmm....

I'm sure there was something huge I meant to blog about tonight, but buggered if I can remember what the hell it was.

tired and complacent

I'm in 2 minds over whether to go to FatFighters or not tomorrow. This week has been SO BAD food wise it's unreal. I've been a Very Naughty Girl. It's been very tasty though. Self loathing and hatred is starting to kick in again though, which is good. I'm getting far too complacent and lazy. Gym this morning was RUBBISH. Was most amusing when Fanny fell off the treadmill and then we couldnt do anything constructive for laughing too much. I really wish there was cameras in the gym precisely for that reason, it was the funniest thing I've seen in ages.

That doesnt say very much really, does it? :unsure:

FatHorse was a pain in the arse in the school, so just trundled up and down the bridleway quick. I'm trying to decide how long a 'short' Danefield would take on a morning. Minimal roadwork.... Hmmm. It's just getting down the hill, doing it on the bridleway could be a bit treacherous (uneven is not the word) but not sure I fancy being on the road AND downhill at that time? We dont do trotting downhill. Decisions...