long time no blog....

TPO is still pregnant and dragging everyone down, got a new girl who is FAB, has settled in really well and works hard. Can't fault her, although she wants to leave cos of TPO. So that's shit.

Went shopping cos everyone moaned that I had no decent trousers so went shopping and found fuck all fitted, so came home in tears, went to the gym and didnt eat for the day. That was grown up.

I've found a pony I really want but I must be grown up and desist. Quite apart from the fact I dont have the money. Or the time, or the...anything really.

Got my race for life stuff through last week, I'm runner 300. Must up my running. meant to be going round some reservoir somewhere at some point. Running in public. Erk.

Have badly fallen off the wagon this month, must get back into things.

so fucked off

Had my bodyfat measured properly last night :bawling: 41% of me is Bad Fat. 9 stone is Good Fat. This bothers me as it looks like I will never get to 11stone goal, if 9stone of me now is Good - going to the gym surely means that will only increase...? Must find out what a good range is. BMI is 34 :bawling: (computer told me it was 33...ok, only a point, but hey).

Might not go to gym tonight - not cos I'm disillusioned, honest, but more because my house needs cleaning, properly, and I'll be knackered if I gym then clean :wimp: I'm yawning now!!

Next day off looks like it will be the 22nd March. Nightmare, but at least I'm getting paid The Deserters wage on the days that should have been my days off. They can go into New Clothes Fund.

tired

B has walked out. TPO is still there, 'feeling really guilty you all have to do my work for you' :| I'm fast running out of sympathy, especially as tomorrow I will be the only one in.

Food-restraint is WAY out of the window.

Gymbitch suggested I do some boxing. Tempted.

Measurements

Saturday March 1st 2008
L. calf - 17
R. calf - 17
L. thigh - 28
R. thigh - 28
Hips (inc tummy)- 49
top hips (on bellybutton)- 49
waist - 38
under boobs - 34
L upper arm - 14
R upper arm - 14

Friday February 1st 2008
L. calf - 17.5
R. calf - 17
L. thigh - 28&aquarter
R. thigh - 28&aquarter
Hips (inc tummy)- 50
top hips (on bellybutton)- 51
waist - 40.5
under boobs - 34.5
L upper arm - 15
R upper arm - 14.5

8.5 inches gone... Better than I thought.

Looking through my diary last night, I saw my next target was to be 14.8 by my birthday. Really dont think that's going to happen :( I MUST get back into it, I've had such a bad week, last night we had pizza, wine and chocolate. :S But was same weight this morning as I was yesterday so not all bad. And I have a one on one with Gymbitch tomorrow.

I want to go shopping though.... I must admit now I need some more work jeans and possiblya belt or 2, but dont really want to go on my own. But what if the same happens as last time and I end up utterly depressed cos nothing fits? Dont really have the money for shopping either. Rahhh.

tantrums, hormones and meh-ness

rahhhh/ Stinky is still pregnant. She is 'not allowed' to lift AT ALL and has had everyone (bar me cos I'm mean) running about fetching and carrying for her. I want to rant on some forums I go on, but I know how it will be taken.

Weight is Not Good. Had a bad 2 days which involved chocolate and a hot ham sandwich. I'm shocked at how much I've put on tbh. I didnt think it would be as much. Definate gain week. And pizza tomorrow. Must go to gym tomorrow night.

Work not bad. S'ok.

tantruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmm

I cant stop eating and have put on 6lbs since my WI on Friday :bawling: First 2lbs I blamed on totm, but no chance now.

Wedding last night was gorgeous. I'm kind of jealous :rolleyes:

*sigh*

I was 15.5 yesterday morning :( So have put on weight through eating that yummy flapjack (not sure it was worth 12 points though)and drinking the pink wine. Sigh. But, hey, it's still a loss from last week.... New 10% goal is now 14 stone, by which point I will only be overweight according to my BMI, as opposed to morbidly obese :rolleyes:

Gym in a bit - tbh I cant really work up enthusiasm to go, esp as will do EVERYTHING.

I was oh-so-right re the Work Thing with S. Knew it. Boys are so shit at hiding stuff.

Must get motivated. Have Things To DO before I go to the gym, plus I need to remember to take the stupid grate with me to swap it. bah. Why couldnt OH do it tomorrow?

sulky

The Pregnant One is pregnant no longer. Do we give it three months before she is again?

I dropped a bale of chop onto my leg which was out to the side earlier, nearly popping it out of the hip socket. Bastard well hurts now. OH is Off Games for the forseeable now. Also meant I didnt go to the gym. Half pissed off, half kind of relieved, we were so busy with TPO being off, that I'm not sure I really needed the gym tonight :lol:

There are Decisions and Dilemmas about TPO and also my job, I think, if I want to have a family, or get into the family way at any point.Erk.

Had to do an emergency Tesco shop today, which pissed me off (we only went Friday!!!). Just means we spend more money we dont really have on things we dont especially need (yes, I bought a DVD) and we've still forgotten stuff.

Hands are all dry and horrid :( They look like they belong to a 100yo woman :(

Not the best day

Bad nights sleep, plus an 8am 'alarm' (haha) call from work, divided by The Most Irritating Man in the Universe, bar none = really fucking grumpy FB.

I had loads to blog earlier, I'm sure of it, but I just kept putting it off (ooh, I'll just put some washing on/mop the floor/hoover - clearly I am ill) and now I cant remember what it was.

I think it can be summed up by 1. This connection on the internet from this computer REALLY fucks me off, and 2. I'm fed up of hovering round this weight. I have 4 days to lose 4lbs (maybe a bit more) and it's SO not going to happen.

bugger it. I'm off to bed.

I'm not dead!

But I did run. New program is:

rower - 5 x 300metre/30seconds rest. The AIM is to do it in less than 1m15. That idea is laughable.
treadmill - 1min @ 3.5mph/5% incline, 1min @ 5mph/0% incline, although I may up it to 5.5mph.... Took me 14minutes to do a mile.
cross trainer - random setting, level 7, 7 minutes. I will build up to 10mins - in fact I might try it on monday. But :whinge: it will be busy and those fast running girls will be there and I'll fall off the treadmill.

I almost find it easier than the last one she did me. Dont tell her though.

Also went for a quick walk on the chevin - was out for 33 minutes. Now I have times for both walks, will try and beat myself back on them the next time I go up there.

Looby is being sick :( Silly bugger ate a packet of egg fried noodles yesterday.

So spoilt

:wub: OH. Lush toys and a necklace from Tiffanys awaited me this morning :hyperventilate: Such a shock, truly cant believe it. It's been everywhere with me today LOL.

Having a bit of a 'cant be arsed' mood today though. Day off and I have troughed my bodyweight in Bad Things. This is doubly bad as not only is it WI tomorrow, it's been such Bad Things, I'm STILL hungry.

Tried to get a fire going for OH to come home to, but it goes for about a minute then dies.

Gymbitch collared me at the gym last night and I had my arm twisted into booking another review for tomorrow. But it's still hard!! She wants me to run too. I dont want to.

N came round, moaned she was single, moaned I was so lucky, moaned she had no job (whos fault?) then left.

Really must get motivated, mum wants me to write something about the smallest kitten for her cat club newsletter and I. Have. No. Inspiration.

Food today:
6 pink & whites
1 packet cheese puffs
3 rice cakes
2 laughing cow light
LOTS of chocolate
2 packets jumbo munch dairylea dunkers (:S)
1 mars drink
slimey chicken
marshmallows
martini asti
hot chocolate (highlights)

Tomorrow will be a gain, I've checked :( I went for a long walk on the chevin (just under an hour) and had some laxatives but nowt. I cant get in an arse about it, it is my own undisciplined fault.

really tired....

ran at the gym tonight again. Only managed a minute each time. Think I'm getting worse. Rower I just couldnt do....not under a minute anyway, more like 1m10. Arms really ached. Did core and legs today, going to attempt little plank for 1m30 tomorrow (laughable), side planks for 15 seconds (again... my feet slip out from under me) and upper planks for 40 (I did 30 today). Gymbitch still wants me to have a review.

B at work is pregnant. She found out today. Boyfriend doesnt know. They've been together less than 3 months. It was a deliberate accident.

Checked my account after Sundays shopping extravaganza. My current account is now #2.58 in credit. Shit. Still. At least it's in credit. And my credit card is at zero.

What else can I have for lunch? I'm kind of sick of fat fighters banoffee pies for dessert.

Gym again tomorrow, am tired just thinking about it.

podged....again

Loving the curry. Although I had put on 2lbs this morning :s . My joules jogging bottoms turned up this morning.....THEY FIT!!! An 18! In Joules!!! Bottoms!! S said they were fine (such a boy answer) but I'm not convinced I'd wear them in public.

Went to the gym tonight (fitting in an 18 bottoms inspired me) but only managed cardio and arms. Bit cross now as may as well done the lot, but can go tomorrow. Gymbitch thinks it's time for a review. Hmmm.

OH keeps mentioning my valentines present and what a HUGE thing it is but then gets cross when I ask about it. Boys.

My shoulder is a bit sore tonight.

I think I am going to have to be careful, looking at the new clothes I have bought is not to get carried away with the fact that I fit into clothes from XXXX shop on the high street and wear them regardless, but wear them because they actually FIT and look good.

Uh-oh, who's in trouble?

I went Shopping today. Only went to HGate for some jogging bottoms and a *little* bit of Lush.

Came home with 2 DVDs, a Wii game, a cd, a *lot* of Lush, a hoody, some jogging bottoms, 4 books and some pants from La Senza.... Assistant in La Senza suggested I get measured for one of their bras :heehee: pointed out I was a GG cup (:blush:) and she told me to get measured there one day as they sized differently. Hmmmm. I might. Dont really want to go up a million back sizes though :S

Spent morning with N on the yard. I missed horses today. Even the shitty (haha) jobs like mucking out and pottering about. Sorted the horse out and got introduced to a few of the liveries. Some potty rules, but actually, they probably mean the yard runs very well. Sometimes they do part loans there, and I was so sorely tempted for in a couple of stones time....but its expensive, it's over 10 miles away, and i suspect I wouldnt fit in with the majority of liveries there (you know, I work and my OHs income is less than several million a year...).

Having fat fighters curry for tea tomorrow and Tuesday (had it lastnight and this too) so I can save points for valentines day. Bit of a bugger having WI the day after, esp as will be having sparkly wine. OH is winding me up saying I'm not allowed his present until after work so I dont blab to everyone about it. Odd.

Feeling Virtuous

And also poor...

Took the car down this morning to get the exhaust fixed. They werent quite ready to start it when I took it, so as I had my gym kit in the boot I went to the gym and just did my cardio program. So tomorrow can be a Nell day.

So virtuous - gym, yay me, as i wasnt planning on going, but poor....Car cost #176.

N is back. Going to see her and B tomorrow. I wonder if she is still self-diagnosed depressed? It is such hard work when she is like this as she expects (and demands) all the answers NOW to stuff no one else could ever possibly know, and then gets in an arse when either what you've said never pans out/she doesnt like it.

I really must motivate myself to get this house clean. So far I've washed up and thats it. Everywhere is such a state.

weigh in....

I'm in the 15's!! I'm not getting over excited because a) I'm hardly convincingly in there, b) I've just eaten an OH pizza and c) I'm 4.5points over today.

I'm quite cross with myself because c) was my own fault. OH had left his lunch at work and I couldnt help myself and ate half his sandwich.... which was 4.5points for that half :S Still the pizza was amazing as always and...I'm in the 15's!

My aim of being 15.7 by Feb 26th seems a little far fetched though.

I thought I would feel so thin when I got to the 15's but I really dont.... 14's seems a much better number....13's even better etc.

My teeth are in dire need of being sorted now. I really must make a concerted effort now to save and get my broken tooth fixed (18months now it's been broken) and get the rest of them sorted and get me on DenPlan or similar. Plus I need to save for my divorce.

My bonus was paid today....yay!! But the exhaust on my car has fallen off, so guess where that's going. *sigh* I was so positive about money too, not so long ago.

I'm going to have put on so much tomorrow. Almost tempted not to look. Must gym. Or potentially a Nell DVD.

Ubercore

Uuuurrrrgghhhh My tummy aches already. Doesnt really feel like we did much tbh, but I ache already. Managed plank for 1m13s - a personal best! Also increased the x-trainer to level 10.

cannot WAIT until payday.

so tired

Went to gym tonight and did my full program. Am knackered!! Not a chance in hell of running, was an effort to stay on the treadmill just walking. Didnt get any of the rower metres under a minute. I did, however, manage to plank for a whole minute and have increased the cross trainer to level 8. It's all good, right?

Pancakes for tea - I cant have pointed right, I still have 1.5points left and had 4 pancakes.... 2 with ham & mozzerella (mmmm), 1 with chocolate spread and marshmallows and one with lemon juice & sweetener.

Dont think laxatives worked. Well. They probably have. I am Fat Bloater-4 poo's today and am HIGHLY windy this evening.

Must motivate myself and go to bed. Am in grave danger of falling asleep here. This YouTube obsession is Very Bad.

Woe is Me

*sigh* How do I get this pound off? I'm still just teetering on 16stone and it's starting to piss me off.

Without getting too graphic, I constantly feel like I need a Very Big Poo so OH has trundled out to Tesco and is getting me some laxatives. Must gym tomorrow. I did plan on going today, but I felt so shit at lunch time - blurry eyes, swaying, slurred speech, I really thought I was going to have a migraine. Typically I am fine now and itchy cos I havent done much today.

Not much else to blog really. A friend and I are considering doing the BHF Leeds-Skipton walk (the whole thing!!) but that isnt till September - she should have been her GW for months and I should just about be getting there. Race for Life is applied for etc, just waiting for my pack now. Different Friend still hasnt applied which has pissed me off - I really dont want to do it on my own.

Hope OH comes back soon. How long do they take to work? Hours? Minutes? I'm going to need my Big Poo at work, or at the gym, arent I? :(

Another Tantrum brewing...

Well, after the excitement of the other day of FINALLY being in the 15's, I dont think I'll make it under 16stone this week - Not unless I have a rice cake for tea on thursday night anyway.

Gym again today, was quite busy so I didnt do any running. Did do full program though. Can't decide whether to do cardio and core tomorrow or have a night off. Hmmm, decisions decisions.

Still loving YouTube and Facebook. Is it wrong to have such obsessions?

Work might be awkward tomorrow, one of the managers wants to sue for loss of earnings from yesterday :S Was busy today though.

Pancake day on Tuesday, another reason why my diet might be buggered. Lambstew & pudding again tomorrow, pancakes Tuesday, Omelette on Wednesday...what to have Thursday? A rice cake is looking an attractive option.

I'm so tired and not really done anything. treadmill was hard work today, maybe just as well I didnt run.