still being stupid

Today started out such a good day. I refrained from chips, and other yummy town-related treats. I refused to go to Sainsburys on the way home on the grounds that I'd be too tempted by yumminess from there. So I went to the shop instead. Drove, didn't walk. Bought 2 creme eggs. One ostensibly for Christopher. Only I ate them both. Then ate 4 (I think, could have been 6) laughing cow light triangles. And half a Thorntons fudge bar. And a hot chocolate. So far I have managed to resist the yogurt and nutella. I did not go to the gym. I had a utter hissy fit at work and was depressed for the afternoon, really wasn't feeling the gym love. Obviously wish I'd gone now though. Keep thinking about doing some crunches, but not actually doing them.

So. Tomorrows plan. I will get up, go to the gym (I'm not riding, it's Friday 13th)and have an amazing workout. Then, I will go to work and remain on food ban till at least 1pm. After work, I will go see the horse, pat her and tell her how pretty she is, then go to the pool and swim for 45minutes. Then I will come home, shower, eat my vegetables and then go see Waynes band play.

Rode this morning. She was a bit of a dickhead, really. Trot was 100000miles an hour with her head in the air, until I started sitting trot and she was much MUCH better. Odd. Still, I have a lesson on Saturday with YO. Will either be amazing or rubbish.

I am finding lots of pictures of people I want to look like to look at when I want fatfood. And things I want, such as nice riding boots, nice clothes, nice things... On Saturday I will get up early and go for a run, before my lesson/town wakes up. Sunday I'm going to the gym. Then Monday morning I will gym...Maybe run in the eve.... I MUST get back into exercising. It's no wonder I'm not losing weight.

silly again

Filling done, all dentistry FINITO :squeee: and there is No Pain, I can move my mouth normally, it's all good. Unfortunately this means I have eaten, lots, today. I did go swimming this morning though and did 50 lengths, which I admit is rubbish, but I haven't swum since Iceland.

Rode this aft, I am a rubbish rider, I really am :( I got run away with in trot as well, that was embarrassing. Right after saying she was perfect for confidence giving (disclaimer: in the school). Oh well.

i would say I'd be good tomorrow, but we're off out with Nicola, which I assume means takeaway.

Going to ride in the morning & gym in evening. I am. Must.

Silly

Was having A Very Good Food Day, but have just spoilt it by having a 'secret' (ie, unpointed :nono: :bad: ) peice of salami & laughing cow, then a slice of Pie D'Angloys. Then 1 hot chocolate and 6 pinks and whites :rolleyes: (those I've pointed...) Still. Tomorrow I don't know when I'll get to eat anything (dentist at 10.20) so maybe it'll be ok. I'm going to go swimming in the morning too, before my appointment. My mouth will be too numb to go afterwards and then too painful when that has worn off. It's the aim anyway. I might not wake up in time yet.

Gym was good this morning, didn't do the stepper though, did 5 x 30 seconds on a 15% incline at 5.5mph instead. Stepper probably would have been more...whats the word...beneficial, but I wanted the rests :lazy:

I'm cross with myself now for having the pink & whites. I knew before I got the packet out I didn't really want them, but got them anyway. Stupid. Didn't enjoy them either.

Unacceptable.

I got on the scales at the gym this morning - back to 15stone AGAIN. This is ridiculous. I must must MUSt get back into things again.

I met with Andy on Thursday night. Dear God did it prove I was rightrightright to get out of that. He is the most depressive man I have ever met. He hasn't changed a bit, in either outlook or appearance. He managed to turn it into a bad thing that I'd lost weight and was most put out I had a nice car. There were a few little snidey asides about that. Anyway, he has the divorce papers and needs to send them to the courts, so hopefully I'll get them to sign in a few weeks and I can draw a line under the whole thing. Still, it meant I ended up here, but I do wonder now just how much I could have done without him? Whatever, what is done, is done. There is no point bitching about what I could have done. If it was meant to be, I would have done it.

Am hating the snow, it's brought everything to a standstill almost. Can't ride cos the school is under 6 inches of school and the bridleway is a sheet of ice. I did lead her down yesterday so I could go in the indoor but it was dicey and I do wish I hadn't done it. Can't get my car up the bridleway either. I was going to attempt it tomorrow, but it's snowing AGAIN now.

Back in the gym tomorrow. This week coming I am going to aim to go 5 times. I probably won't go Tuesday cos I have the dentist (last appointment!) and I don't tend to go on a Saturday. I don't know why not, I just don't. Maybe I should. I just don't feel the gym-love on a Saturday. Going to go before work tomorrow if we're not snowed in, and see Mollymol in the evening. She's bored of the snow now too.

Ooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwww

I do not like root canals.

Had my sore-tooth finished off today. Is still painful now but that's to be expected. The actual thing wasn't too bad, I guess (only needed one injection, check me out)until he put the filling in and I nearly went through the roof - apparently its cos it was warm I felt it more or something. Whatever, it hurt. So, that was a surprise, getting a missed call then calling it back and them saying can you come in NOW? Errr... Well, I spose I didnt get chance to get overly nervous beforehand. One more appointment and it's all finished :banana: Just need to decide what I want doing with that bottom broken tooth now. Have it out and be gappy (cannot afford implants, I've looked!!) or try (another) filling. I have a couple of weeks to think anyway. Technically I suppose I've paid for the filling already.

Rode this morning, FatHorse was A Very Good Pony. Was very pleased with her. Hacked down to the bottom school in half-light (7.20pm) so she didn't really walk out on the way down cos it was a bit dark, was ok when we got to the school though. She was a bit tense when the planes came over again, but didn't spin or anything today. Had 2 tiny canters but that knackered the trot a bit. I must work harder on getting her quicker off my leg. Meant to put spurs on this morning but I forgot. Will reread my 101 schooling exercises book a bit tonight, inspiration was lacking somewhat this morning really.

Tomorrow I must go to the gym and get thin. Must. I was going to go tonight by my mouth kept throbbing when I moved so I decided I wouldnt bother. Lazy arse.

I want thin thighs....

Well, I want thin everything, obviously, but I especially hate my thunderythighs today. Although, when I was at the gym I did think they weren't as porky looking as they WERE, I must measure on 1st Feb - can't remember if I did any measurements on 1st Jan.

Anyway, tomorrows weigh in will be a bit bollocks now, I've just troughed an entire days worth of food in about half an hour and had wine. So cross now about that.

Have been to the gym, did new program, it's good, I like it. Do the stepper too in an attempt to get thinthighs. It's all good. Was a bit silly beforehand but honestly I do workout better when I do it, it's odd.

Went and rode straight after the gym and I probably shouldnt have done, I didn't ride overly well. She was a bit silly anyway and there were a few planes coming into land very low and she arsed about, spinning and the like everytime they did, stupid arse. She was very quiet tonight though when I went back up, bit grumpy. I've knocked her down to one feed a day now, she's getting decidedly porky and I dont think she's impressed. Still, I suppose I get shitty when I'm not allowed food.

Have it in mind to ride in the morning, but am kind of bored of schooling, at least until maybe after our lesson, I dont really know what to work on. I know she knows how to work in an outline and she's just being argumentative with me, but I don't know what to dooooo. I'm certainly not improving her at the moment. But it's still a bit dark to hack before work....

Still thinking about dental implants. Must win lottery.

Must not get complacent....

I was thinking today, as I bought the second packet of Hobnobs this week, that just because I *only* have 4 stone left to lose and in the grand scheme of things of what I have lost etcetc it's not an awful lot more, I have definately started to rest a bit on my laurels.

Must not do this. Although, as predicted I did not go to the gym today and I have not been for a run. I did ride for an hour though. Was in a t shirt by the end of it. Apparently Stinks and I are going to do some dressage. Hmmm.