I was having such a really good day as well today.
RRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
God, i piss myself off and now theres all sorts of extra explantions.
twat twat twat
it was no surface, all feeling....maybe at the time, it felt like breathing.
Saturday, 21 June 2008
positive things for a saturday
1. Still dont seem to have pissed anyone off
2. I am healthy
3. My vets bill is totally paid (as in, I paid off the credit card last night. Poor again now)
4. I'm going to be thin soon
Think thats it for this morning, eek!!
2. I am healthy
3. My vets bill is totally paid (as in, I paid off the credit card last night. Poor again now)
4. I'm going to be thin soon
Think thats it for this morning, eek!!
Friday, 20 June 2008
two blogs in one day
and they're both positive ones, who knew??
Had a really nice day today, but dont know why, really, it's just been A Good Day. Maybe I should start my day by thinking of positive things more often? (actually, it's probably not a bad idea lol).
Went to gym this morning and had a review done by text LOL. It was hard!! run 400metres as fast as I can (7.5mph today, for the first 2 anyway, then 6.5mph for the last 2) with a minutes rest as many times as I can... Today it was 4 times, is harder work than I thought it would be. Anyway, 2.5km in 18minutes. Can't decide if thats good or not? I was red, out of breath and sweaty by the end though, more so than when I just do 2 miles in however long I can anyway, so must be good. Then went on rower, 500metres with 30second rest. Fastest was 2.05m, slowest was 2.09m. Again, no idea if thats good. The idea with the cross trainer was to do 2minutes fast and a minute slow.... I just couldnt do it, so just did my normal x-trainer routine, then I went and tried to get thin arms with the weights. By the time I finished I looked like I'd showered in my clothes - and I had nothing to change into, yuck yuck yuck. And I had to get to vets to see if Molls vet bill was ready - it was, and it was a shocking EIGHTY SEVEN POUNDS. I did ask her, numerous times, if she was sure it was right, if she had the right horse, the right account etc... she seemed to think so anyway.
Got back home, to find a letter from Barclays to say I'd been charged for a DD that I thought I'd canceled and which I obviously hadnt and it had come out of the account which had insufficient funds. So trundled back down into town and paid that, and the bank-lady has refunded the #15 charge, check her out!
Went to see FatHorse and decided to go OUT for a ride. As we left we ended up joining 2 riders going past. Asked them if they minded me tagging along till the bridleway and they said they didnt. Ended up having a really nice chat, I might accost them the next time I see them and ask if they want an extra hacking partner. Had a bit of a tantrum when we left them, but nothing like I was expecting, and to be honest, I'm not entirely sure the tantrum wasnt actually over the fact I wanted her to walk over a drain and not over the fact she had to leave her two new friends at all. Met a couple with their kids on the bridleway and FH embarrassed me totally by sticking her head in the pushchair while I was talking to the parents. Expected child to scream (I nearly did) but kid loved it. Left them and carried on, got to Yorkgate and :eek: there were 2 piles of sand either side of the track. Dear God, the reaction was suitably drama queen esque. They were hiding trolls and all sorts. Trundled back along YG and back to the yard, the pair of us in great moods. I might even do some jumping tomorrow night. Check us out, hey?
I was thinking earlier about the stupid things I do. I think I can narrow it down now to the times when I would have had a cigarette before. It's getting ridiculous at the minute though, although I've been good today, I really cant hide it for much longer. Mostly when I'm 'stressed' or cross. Or just bored. Before the gym because I dont think I'll do as well as I want to, after the gym because I havent done as well as I wanted to, at work because customers/staff/reps have infuriated me, at the yard because I havent ridden well or FH been an arse... Anyway, the whole act of taking care of it afterwards distracts me from whatever has happened and by the time I've dealt with it, whatever has upset me has passed. Thats my theory anyway, it's probably a load of bollocks.
Got home to find that V had bought me some of my most favourite ice cream ever as a thank you for doing some posters to find her dog... AND I was still within points enough to eat some. I told her she really didnt need to, but I loved that she had LOL.
See, today has been a good day. I am happy, happy, happy. I have a lovely Christopher and some amazing friends, who all mean the world to me. I just need to not fuck things up and it's all good.
Had a really nice day today, but dont know why, really, it's just been A Good Day. Maybe I should start my day by thinking of positive things more often? (actually, it's probably not a bad idea lol).
Went to gym this morning and had a review done by text LOL. It was hard!! run 400metres as fast as I can (7.5mph today, for the first 2 anyway, then 6.5mph for the last 2) with a minutes rest as many times as I can... Today it was 4 times, is harder work than I thought it would be. Anyway, 2.5km in 18minutes. Can't decide if thats good or not? I was red, out of breath and sweaty by the end though, more so than when I just do 2 miles in however long I can anyway, so must be good. Then went on rower, 500metres with 30second rest. Fastest was 2.05m, slowest was 2.09m. Again, no idea if thats good. The idea with the cross trainer was to do 2minutes fast and a minute slow.... I just couldnt do it, so just did my normal x-trainer routine, then I went and tried to get thin arms with the weights. By the time I finished I looked like I'd showered in my clothes - and I had nothing to change into, yuck yuck yuck. And I had to get to vets to see if Molls vet bill was ready - it was, and it was a shocking EIGHTY SEVEN POUNDS. I did ask her, numerous times, if she was sure it was right, if she had the right horse, the right account etc... she seemed to think so anyway.
Got back home, to find a letter from Barclays to say I'd been charged for a DD that I thought I'd canceled and which I obviously hadnt and it had come out of the account which had insufficient funds. So trundled back down into town and paid that, and the bank-lady has refunded the #15 charge, check her out!
Went to see FatHorse and decided to go OUT for a ride. As we left we ended up joining 2 riders going past. Asked them if they minded me tagging along till the bridleway and they said they didnt. Ended up having a really nice chat, I might accost them the next time I see them and ask if they want an extra hacking partner. Had a bit of a tantrum when we left them, but nothing like I was expecting, and to be honest, I'm not entirely sure the tantrum wasnt actually over the fact I wanted her to walk over a drain and not over the fact she had to leave her two new friends at all. Met a couple with their kids on the bridleway and FH embarrassed me totally by sticking her head in the pushchair while I was talking to the parents. Expected child to scream (I nearly did) but kid loved it. Left them and carried on, got to Yorkgate and :eek: there were 2 piles of sand either side of the track. Dear God, the reaction was suitably drama queen esque. They were hiding trolls and all sorts. Trundled back along YG and back to the yard, the pair of us in great moods. I might even do some jumping tomorrow night. Check us out, hey?
I was thinking earlier about the stupid things I do. I think I can narrow it down now to the times when I would have had a cigarette before. It's getting ridiculous at the minute though, although I've been good today, I really cant hide it for much longer. Mostly when I'm 'stressed' or cross. Or just bored. Before the gym because I dont think I'll do as well as I want to, after the gym because I havent done as well as I wanted to, at work because customers/staff/reps have infuriated me, at the yard because I havent ridden well or FH been an arse... Anyway, the whole act of taking care of it afterwards distracts me from whatever has happened and by the time I've dealt with it, whatever has upset me has passed. Thats my theory anyway, it's probably a load of bollocks.
Got home to find that V had bought me some of my most favourite ice cream ever as a thank you for doing some posters to find her dog... AND I was still within points enough to eat some. I told her she really didnt need to, but I loved that she had LOL.
See, today has been a good day. I am happy, happy, happy. I have a lovely Christopher and some amazing friends, who all mean the world to me. I just need to not fuck things up and it's all good.
Being Positive.
I am. Today will be A Good Girl Day. I think I need to start making a list of positives everyday, because I really am a lucky person, I just dont see it at times.
So. Todays positives. This may get shorter as the week goes on..!
1. I have a Christopher and some lovely, amazing friends.
2. I also have The FatHorse and The Kittens
3. The above are happy (I hope) and healthy.
4. I am losing weight, I will do it and I will be thin.
5. We've had the plans approved for the first bit of the house extension.
6. I am still remotivated re the weight thing, despite a flapjack-shaped slip up yesterday.
7. My manky foot did not hurt at all yesterday
8. I've just paid off my credit card, so when FatHorses vets bill arrives, I can put it straight on that and not worry about it sitting on S' account for ages.
9. I do love my job. Despite how much I complain about it. Got told the other day that I have 20days of holiday I'm still to take before he end of November, otherwise I'll lose it, no carrying over or getting paid for them. Normally I've used my holiday by the end of March!!
10. I'm going to Iceland!!!
11. I've almost done a full week of riding before work and then gym or some sort of exercise in the evening. (Today I MUST do both as well - day off). Tuesday was the only day I didnt do any real exercise (dont count walking to fatfighters, esp as Sarah drove me back home), but, a day off is good...I guess.
Wow. That is more positives than I thought. Now I just need to stop the ridiculous scratching and then I can go to bed whenever I want rather than hiding in there before Chris gets in. And wear my shorter armed tops when I have thin arms. And it's just a stupid thing to do.
Now I just need to motivate myself to get to the gym.... Or ride this morning, one of the 2.
So. Todays positives. This may get shorter as the week goes on..!
1. I have a Christopher and some lovely, amazing friends.
2. I also have The FatHorse and The Kittens
3. The above are happy (I hope) and healthy.
4. I am losing weight, I will do it and I will be thin.
5. We've had the plans approved for the first bit of the house extension.
6. I am still remotivated re the weight thing, despite a flapjack-shaped slip up yesterday.
7. My manky foot did not hurt at all yesterday
8. I've just paid off my credit card, so when FatHorses vets bill arrives, I can put it straight on that and not worry about it sitting on S' account for ages.
9. I do love my job. Despite how much I complain about it. Got told the other day that I have 20days of holiday I'm still to take before he end of November, otherwise I'll lose it, no carrying over or getting paid for them. Normally I've used my holiday by the end of March!!
10. I'm going to Iceland!!!
11. I've almost done a full week of riding before work and then gym or some sort of exercise in the evening. (Today I MUST do both as well - day off). Tuesday was the only day I didnt do any real exercise (dont count walking to fatfighters, esp as Sarah drove me back home), but, a day off is good...I guess.
Wow. That is more positives than I thought. Now I just need to stop the ridiculous scratching and then I can go to bed whenever I want rather than hiding in there before Chris gets in. And wear my shorter armed tops when I have thin arms. And it's just a stupid thing to do.
Now I just need to motivate myself to get to the gym.... Or ride this morning, one of the 2.
Tuesday, 17 June 2008
Hmmm
Fat Fighters meeting - LOADS of people from the gym there, suppose it was to be expected really, but it means that I can't give up now. One of the gym people does the weighing. REALLY dont like that, but I'm sure I'll get over myself. I came out all remotivated but I sem to have lost it a bit now... I'll take the stuff they gave us and have it as bedtime reading, hopefully I'll rediscover the motivation.
Really must ride the fathorse in the morning, meant to this morning but was so tired when the alarm went off I just lunged instead and I feel rubbish now, especially as it took as long as riding would have and I ate shit all day.
Still, riding and gym tomorrow, thursday and friday. Must put my stirrups up a hole, I was so ineffective in trot the other day.
Wish I was thin. And rich. And probably someone else entirely.
Really must ride the fathorse in the morning, meant to this morning but was so tired when the alarm went off I just lunged instead and I feel rubbish now, especially as it took as long as riding would have and I ate shit all day.
Still, riding and gym tomorrow, thursday and friday. Must put my stirrups up a hole, I was so ineffective in trot the other day.
Wish I was thin. And rich. And probably someone else entirely.
tired this morning
Dan gave me a Dan-Compliment yesterday. Apparently 'it's been fucking AGES since you were in a bad mood Rach!!'. So, yay me! Unfortunately I am knackered this morning and am already in a bad mood, and all I've done is get up and dressed. Doesnt bode well for rest of day, does it?!
Ran/walked from work to Business Focus last night with T&someone she works with. I held them back :( I'm 1000000% sure the more running I do, the more rubbish i get, I really do. I did it with swimming too. Rode FatHorse yesterday morning as well, she was ok, there was some moments of brilliance, but mostly she was a tit. I'm meant to be riding this morning, but like I say, I'm knackered so I'm just going to lunge.
Made her a FatCamp Sunday night and she went out in it yesterday. Checked her a couple of times during the day and she'd fencewalked a bit, but, I know its mean, but I'm not hugely bothered. If she's fence walking she's not stuffing her face AND she's working off what she's eaten lol.
Got a FatFighters meeting tonight with Sarah. I just dont have the willpower anymore so I'm going to go and be shamed into losing weight. Hopefully the competitiveness will reinspire me. I have 3months (ish) to lose 2 stone and it's just not happening at the minute :(
Need to think of things to sell to pay for this bloody vet bill. I dont even want to know how much it's going to be.
Ran/walked from work to Business Focus last night with T&someone she works with. I held them back :( I'm 1000000% sure the more running I do, the more rubbish i get, I really do. I did it with swimming too. Rode FatHorse yesterday morning as well, she was ok, there was some moments of brilliance, but mostly she was a tit. I'm meant to be riding this morning, but like I say, I'm knackered so I'm just going to lunge.
Made her a FatCamp Sunday night and she went out in it yesterday. Checked her a couple of times during the day and she'd fencewalked a bit, but, I know its mean, but I'm not hugely bothered. If she's fence walking she's not stuffing her face AND she's working off what she's eaten lol.
Got a FatFighters meeting tonight with Sarah. I just dont have the willpower anymore so I'm going to go and be shamed into losing weight. Hopefully the competitiveness will reinspire me. I have 3months (ish) to lose 2 stone and it's just not happening at the minute :(
Need to think of things to sell to pay for this bloody vet bill. I dont even want to know how much it's going to be.
Sunday, 15 June 2008
3 things
1. check me out, the cardio queen.... rower 2000m 8minutes,29.3seconds, bike, program 6, 15mins, 5.05km, x-trainer, level 17, hill program, 240calories, treadmill, 2miles in 23minutes dead, but did have to walk 3 times (3 minutes) but did the last 3 or so minutes at 6mph. Was pleased today.
2. Rode FatHorse. She was, um, turbocharged. We were only going to have a mooch round the school, but we did a better impression of something speedy. I did think about taking her in the field, but given its only two days since the vet was twittering on about colic surgery and 'is she insured?' we stayed in the arena.
3. Built Fat Horse a FatCamp. Cross everything that she doesnt escape into the main field, or onto the bridleway, she doesnt colic and she doesnt do anything else that might cost me more money. Oh, and cause her ill health, obviously.
But. Still no self control around food, still rubbish on the treadmill, still rubbish at running outside. Running from work into town tomorrow with 2 extra people I dont know and I really dont want to do it, they will be uber fast and I wont keep up and will hold them back but can't back out now.
Made a bit of a mess.
2. Rode FatHorse. She was, um, turbocharged. We were only going to have a mooch round the school, but we did a better impression of something speedy. I did think about taking her in the field, but given its only two days since the vet was twittering on about colic surgery and 'is she insured?' we stayed in the arena.
3. Built Fat Horse a FatCamp. Cross everything that she doesnt escape into the main field, or onto the bridleway, she doesnt colic and she doesnt do anything else that might cost me more money. Oh, and cause her ill health, obviously.
But. Still no self control around food, still rubbish on the treadmill, still rubbish at running outside. Running from work into town tomorrow with 2 extra people I dont know and I really dont want to do it, they will be uber fast and I wont keep up and will hold them back but can't back out now.
Made a bit of a mess.
Thursday, 12 June 2008
See, its going well now
But I cant be happy - because if I'd stuck to it for the last 3 months then I would have been so much further on.
Still I cant be too cross, it's my own stupid fault.
Belly is in season, she woke me up at 3am by sitting on my head, yelling her head off. Chris slept through it.
Do I gym or ride in the morning? Am tempted to gym. Tonight was far more successful than last night, even beat my rower - 8.36m. Did level 5 on the bike, level 17 on the x-trainer and also managed to do 2miles in under 25minutes. Couldnt run it all though.
Must ride FatHorse tomorrow night, although I suspect seeing how she was tonight I'll be wanting nice big arm muscles.
Still I cant be too cross, it's my own stupid fault.
Belly is in season, she woke me up at 3am by sitting on my head, yelling her head off. Chris slept through it.
Do I gym or ride in the morning? Am tempted to gym. Tonight was far more successful than last night, even beat my rower - 8.36m. Did level 5 on the bike, level 17 on the x-trainer and also managed to do 2miles in under 25minutes. Couldnt run it all though.
Must ride FatHorse tomorrow night, although I suspect seeing how she was tonight I'll be wanting nice big arm muscles.
Wednesday, 11 June 2008
Fat Fighters day one...
I'm a point over already :lol: but am under points for tomorrow so can make it up then hopefully. Must. Be. Good.
Gym was predictably rubbish, but I managed to run a bit which I didnt think I'd do, in fact I did everything, just a bit slower than I would have liked. Had to do it in a vest top which I did NOT enjoy cos my stupid burnt shoulders really hurt.
Gym was predictably rubbish, but I managed to run a bit which I didnt think I'd do, in fact I did everything, just a bit slower than I would have liked. Had to do it in a vest top which I did NOT enjoy cos my stupid burnt shoulders really hurt.
Starting Again
Fat Fighters is starting again today. I have loads of fruit with me, I'm having vegetables for tea... I WILL be thin. Need to lose 2 stone by September, at least. Back off to the gym tonight as well.
New 10% goal is 13stone3lbs. After that, only 2 more (ish) stone to go before my Big Goal Weight. Makes it sound so easy.
Yeah, new weigh in day is a Wednesday too.
New 10% goal is 13stone3lbs. After that, only 2 more (ish) stone to go before my Big Goal Weight. Makes it sound so easy.
Yeah, new weigh in day is a Wednesday too.
Tuesday, 10 June 2008
oh god...
A blog of realisations tonight.
1. Work. When Graham left, we all had a laugh and a joke over who would be the one who stepped into his lazy arsed shoes. I suspected it would be me. It was never going to be Chris. It isnt me. And its pissing everyone off - all I had all weekend was pissed off texts saying how lazy S had been. This happens everytime we go away or have a day off together - either he turns into Mr Lazy or else his gf turns up for the day and they book holidays on the tinterweb. Irritating. Mostly irritating because it feels like Chris and I cant go away for any length of time... Iceland is already irritatingly short because it isnt fair to leave S on his own for so long without a day off, but if we have to worry about unhappy staff to get back to as well? Happy holidays...
2. Weight. This is getting stupid. I havent lost any weight at all for fucking ages because I have no will power. So I'm changing my weigh in day to tomorrow and I'm starting again. Again. Current goal is to lose 2 stone before we go to Iceland. I want to get in the Blue Lagoon and not feel like a whale has got lost. I will be a good girl, I will not be tempted by yummy food, if I even LOOK at a tub of B&J I may as well stick the tub straight on my thighs. No more wine, pink or otherwise either, for a while.
3. Exercise. I've missed it so much. I've done nothing today, not even a walk and I feel itchy because of it. I've missed running more than I thought I would actually. Cant wait to get back in the gym tomorrow, although I'm already dismissing it as a rubbish workout because my chest is still slightly dodgy and its been a week since I was last in there. A WEEK? I cant remember the last time I stayed out of there a week. I really have changed.
4. The sun. Next time, you silly bitch, PUT SOME SUN CREAM ON. My upper arms, back and front of my legs are lobster-red. And sore.
5. I want a different job, or at least to not work with Chris anymore. I want to go away on a proper holiday and not still have to deal with stuff while we're away.
6. Oh, and to discuss the idea of cosmetic surgery calmly and rationally without either of us having a tantrum.
Dont want much, do I?
1. Work. When Graham left, we all had a laugh and a joke over who would be the one who stepped into his lazy arsed shoes. I suspected it would be me. It was never going to be Chris. It isnt me. And its pissing everyone off - all I had all weekend was pissed off texts saying how lazy S had been. This happens everytime we go away or have a day off together - either he turns into Mr Lazy or else his gf turns up for the day and they book holidays on the tinterweb. Irritating. Mostly irritating because it feels like Chris and I cant go away for any length of time... Iceland is already irritatingly short because it isnt fair to leave S on his own for so long without a day off, but if we have to worry about unhappy staff to get back to as well? Happy holidays...
2. Weight. This is getting stupid. I havent lost any weight at all for fucking ages because I have no will power. So I'm changing my weigh in day to tomorrow and I'm starting again. Again. Current goal is to lose 2 stone before we go to Iceland. I want to get in the Blue Lagoon and not feel like a whale has got lost. I will be a good girl, I will not be tempted by yummy food, if I even LOOK at a tub of B&J I may as well stick the tub straight on my thighs. No more wine, pink or otherwise either, for a while.
3. Exercise. I've missed it so much. I've done nothing today, not even a walk and I feel itchy because of it. I've missed running more than I thought I would actually. Cant wait to get back in the gym tomorrow, although I'm already dismissing it as a rubbish workout because my chest is still slightly dodgy and its been a week since I was last in there. A WEEK? I cant remember the last time I stayed out of there a week. I really have changed.
4. The sun. Next time, you silly bitch, PUT SOME SUN CREAM ON. My upper arms, back and front of my legs are lobster-red. And sore.
5. I want a different job, or at least to not work with Chris anymore. I want to go away on a proper holiday and not still have to deal with stuff while we're away.
6. Oh, and to discuss the idea of cosmetic surgery calmly and rationally without either of us having a tantrum.
Dont want much, do I?
Monday, 9 June 2008
Bored now
Man flu is starting to piss me off now. Walked into town earlier to pay fat horses vet bill and get some more asprin, and had to have an hours sleep when I got back. How rubbish? Also attempted the Nell DVD and could only do 20 minutes (inc warm up!!) before dying in a sweaty, out of breath heap.
Fat Horse got freezemarked today, she was a good girl, only 1 minor aberation when she twitched as the first mark went on, so her 9 looks more like a deformed lollipop but still, she's been branded.
Kitten has also been vaccinated, he is in fine health apparently. Belly was FURIOUS when we got back and had trashed the house. Who needs a teenager?
Operation Anti Fat Ass is not going well. A cheese doritoes sandwich, a bottle of wine and some B&J cookie dough ice cream kind of not well.
I'm ill, meh.
Fat Horse got freezemarked today, she was a good girl, only 1 minor aberation when she twitched as the first mark went on, so her 9 looks more like a deformed lollipop but still, she's been branded.
Kitten has also been vaccinated, he is in fine health apparently. Belly was FURIOUS when we got back and had trashed the house. Who needs a teenager?
Operation Anti Fat Ass is not going well. A cheese doritoes sandwich, a bottle of wine and some B&J cookie dough ice cream kind of not well.
I'm ill, meh.
Sunday, 8 June 2008
what a weekend....
Back early(ish) - about 5.30, because mum and I had a huge argument about, of all things, sausages. I only wanted one, but no, I HAD to have 2. So I offloaded it onto Chris' plate. You'd think I'd done something AWFUL by the reaction. So we left asap, with barbed 'compliments' ringing in my ears. Got home, sorted cats out and went to see Fat Horse... Such a sweetheart, very cuddly. Still feel bad about having her freezemarked tomorrow, even though I know it *shouldnt* hurt.
There were also 'issues' cos Chris and I went for a walk earlier. It would have been a run, on my own if needs be,I actually really fancied it, but I've come down with chronic man flu and could barely breathe after an hours (flat!) walk. This was another bone of contention - I slept a lot of the weekend, partly because I am/was ill, partly because the thing I was panicking about turns out fine - for me anyway. Worrying over nothing.... But it meant I could finally sleep without chewing things over.
I must sort out Operation Anti Fat Ass again, I'm still stuck at the weight I was 2 months ago and it's so frustrating. Although I could always do more exercise I guess. Swimming again is the next on the list, but I'd want to be fitted for a costume as well. At least I'll never drown while they're this size though... Did I blog about getting a sports bra? If not... I can only go down one more back size before I am too humungous for a sports bra :eek: I will need to have them specially made at great expense. Would be far cheaper just to have a boob job.
Anyway, whatever, its food I mainly have issues with, in that I cant stop eating... It's rubbish. Really must develop some self control somehow. Other people do it, why cant I?
Back in gym tomorrow. Gonna be hard work, havent been since... Wednesday!! Bugger, it will be hard work.
There were also 'issues' cos Chris and I went for a walk earlier. It would have been a run, on my own if needs be,I actually really fancied it, but I've come down with chronic man flu and could barely breathe after an hours (flat!) walk. This was another bone of contention - I slept a lot of the weekend, partly because I am/was ill, partly because the thing I was panicking about turns out fine - for me anyway. Worrying over nothing.... But it meant I could finally sleep without chewing things over.
I must sort out Operation Anti Fat Ass again, I'm still stuck at the weight I was 2 months ago and it's so frustrating. Although I could always do more exercise I guess. Swimming again is the next on the list, but I'd want to be fitted for a costume as well. At least I'll never drown while they're this size though... Did I blog about getting a sports bra? If not... I can only go down one more back size before I am too humungous for a sports bra :eek: I will need to have them specially made at great expense. Would be far cheaper just to have a boob job.
Anyway, whatever, its food I mainly have issues with, in that I cant stop eating... It's rubbish. Really must develop some self control somehow. Other people do it, why cant I?
Back in gym tomorrow. Gonna be hard work, havent been since... Wednesday!! Bugger, it will be hard work.
Friday, 6 June 2008
No news is good news....?
Lets hope anyway.
Went sports bra shopping yesterday, have gone down 2 back sizes and UP about a billion cup sizes. There are no cup sizes bigger!! Still, it kept them in place during a Very Naughty Fat Horse ride and a wet run...
Dont know what got into FatHorse yesterday, but she was turbocharged. Did some babyjumping again, I made a specific effort not to grab at her (in fact, I probably needed more of a contact) and I genuinely wasnt tense - not that I felt, anyway, but she towed me into everything. Then took her in the field to walk her off, and, er, ended up galloping round it 3 times. And I mean proper galloping too, I didnt realise she had a 4th gear. It wasnt intentional, but fuck it, so much fun. Steering and braking both in the arena and the field were minimal though.
Then the run...was so much fun actually. Went round Fewston instead of Swinsty and got caught in a torrential rainstorm about halfway round. I have never been so wet with clothes on in my entire life, there wasnt a single inch of me that was dry. And I'm obviously crazy, fun??? But it was, so much.
Off to parents tonight. Want to take my trainers and go for a run, but the grief and teasing I'll get will be unreal. Shame I cant go to a gym really... Who would have thought I'd have got so itchy at the thought of not being able to exercise? Something is obviously wrong....
Oh, gym on Wednesday night... (having been to Whitby - lovely day)... 22minutes on level 4 (bike) = 6km, 15mins on level 17 (cross trainer) and 8.42 on the rower.
Went sports bra shopping yesterday, have gone down 2 back sizes and UP about a billion cup sizes. There are no cup sizes bigger!! Still, it kept them in place during a Very Naughty Fat Horse ride and a wet run...
Dont know what got into FatHorse yesterday, but she was turbocharged. Did some babyjumping again, I made a specific effort not to grab at her (in fact, I probably needed more of a contact) and I genuinely wasnt tense - not that I felt, anyway, but she towed me into everything. Then took her in the field to walk her off, and, er, ended up galloping round it 3 times. And I mean proper galloping too, I didnt realise she had a 4th gear. It wasnt intentional, but fuck it, so much fun. Steering and braking both in the arena and the field were minimal though.
Then the run...was so much fun actually. Went round Fewston instead of Swinsty and got caught in a torrential rainstorm about halfway round. I have never been so wet with clothes on in my entire life, there wasnt a single inch of me that was dry. And I'm obviously crazy, fun??? But it was, so much.
Off to parents tonight. Want to take my trainers and go for a run, but the grief and teasing I'll get will be unreal. Shame I cant go to a gym really... Who would have thought I'd have got so itchy at the thought of not being able to exercise? Something is obviously wrong....
Oh, gym on Wednesday night... (having been to Whitby - lovely day)... 22minutes on level 4 (bike) = 6km, 15mins on level 17 (cross trainer) and 8.42 on the rower.
Tuesday, 3 June 2008
Measurements again...
Tuesday June 03rd
L. calf - 17
R. calf - 17
L. thigh - 27.5
R. thigh - 27.5
Hips (inc tummy)- 47
top hips (on bellybutton)- 43
waist - 37
under boobs - 35
L upper arm - 14
R upper arm - 14
Thursday May 1st
L. calf - 17.5
R. calf - 17.5
L. thigh - 27
R. thigh - 28
Hips (inc tummy)- 48
top hips (on bellybutton)- 46.5
waist - 38
under boobs - 34
L upper arm - 14
R upper arm - 14
5.5inches off, I think? Not bad I guess. Shame it's not all in one place!!
L. calf - 17
R. calf - 17
L. thigh - 27.5
R. thigh - 27.5
Hips (inc tummy)- 47
top hips (on bellybutton)- 43
waist - 37
under boobs - 35
L upper arm - 14
R upper arm - 14
Thursday May 1st
L. calf - 17.5
R. calf - 17.5
L. thigh - 27
R. thigh - 28
Hips (inc tummy)- 48
top hips (on bellybutton)- 46.5
waist - 38
under boobs - 34
L upper arm - 14
R upper arm - 14
5.5inches off, I think? Not bad I guess. Shame it's not all in one place!!
shit shit shit
I did something, work related, a while back which probably wasnt a great thing to do. I think it might have just come and bitten on the ass, big time. Like loss of job, fines, loss of friendship....I hope to fuck I'm wrong, but I really dont think I am.
Now cant sleep and feel sick, but will be nothing like how v's feeling.
Now cant sleep and feel sick, but will be nothing like how v's feeling.
Monday, 2 June 2008
amazing exercise day.... (kind of)
not such a good food day anymore...
It started out so well, Jen and I went up to Swinsty at 7am and went round, then I went to work...finished work and decided to calibrate the nike+ thing properly, so went to the gym and did that (eventually), but felt embarrassed at only going to run 400 metres, so did 20 minutes on level 4 on the bike, then normal cross trainer.
So that was all good. Then went up to the horse, was going to go out but couldnt be arsed locking everywhere up behind me, so went in the school. It was hard work actually (for her) as the arena was waterlogged in places still and really really deep. Still she managed to tit about for ages before doing some real work and then we did some more JUMPING. I have to be brave though, I absolutely cannot jump out of trot, it does have to be canter. I just need to remember to sit quietly and not fiddle and tense up as her turbo kicks in in canter. Its only when I get tense and snatchy that she really powers in. It's not rocket science, why cant I do it?! I think I might ride in the field tomorrow, its easier to avoid the puddles :rolleyes: Its not like we;re jumping high either, we're talking about 1foot6 at the most!! After that I was feeling decidedly faint, so scooted down to waitrose and got some pasta salad, some fruit (which i havent eaten) and some aero bubbles (which I have). Then went round the tarn with Tam, we were both rubbish and couldnt be arsed, so we just ended up going round twice and walking most of it at that. And even now I dont think my nike + is calibrated properly, although walking & running is going to alter the reading somewhat.
So, up till this point the whole food thing was going fairly well, but since I got home I've had a ham and cheese sandwich, tea, a fat fighters pudding and, um, wine...
Getting stiff already lol.
Work wasnt too bad, even better now I'm not going back in till a week tomorrow.
Must be better tomorrow, food wise. Dont think I'll ever better todays exercise :lol:
It started out so well, Jen and I went up to Swinsty at 7am and went round, then I went to work...finished work and decided to calibrate the nike+ thing properly, so went to the gym and did that (eventually), but felt embarrassed at only going to run 400 metres, so did 20 minutes on level 4 on the bike, then normal cross trainer.
So that was all good. Then went up to the horse, was going to go out but couldnt be arsed locking everywhere up behind me, so went in the school. It was hard work actually (for her) as the arena was waterlogged in places still and really really deep. Still she managed to tit about for ages before doing some real work and then we did some more JUMPING. I have to be brave though, I absolutely cannot jump out of trot, it does have to be canter. I just need to remember to sit quietly and not fiddle and tense up as her turbo kicks in in canter. Its only when I get tense and snatchy that she really powers in. It's not rocket science, why cant I do it?! I think I might ride in the field tomorrow, its easier to avoid the puddles :rolleyes: Its not like we;re jumping high either, we're talking about 1foot6 at the most!! After that I was feeling decidedly faint, so scooted down to waitrose and got some pasta salad, some fruit (which i havent eaten) and some aero bubbles (which I have). Then went round the tarn with Tam, we were both rubbish and couldnt be arsed, so we just ended up going round twice and walking most of it at that. And even now I dont think my nike + is calibrated properly, although walking & running is going to alter the reading somewhat.
So, up till this point the whole food thing was going fairly well, but since I got home I've had a ham and cheese sandwich, tea, a fat fighters pudding and, um, wine...
Getting stiff already lol.
Work wasnt too bad, even better now I'm not going back in till a week tomorrow.
Must be better tomorrow, food wise. Dont think I'll ever better todays exercise :lol:
Sunday, 1 June 2008
check me out....
Or, um, not...
In gym this morning, ran 2miles in one go, without stopping. Check me out, huh? took 25minutes to do 2.18miles (walked the last bit). Then tonight, was calibrating my nike + thing...struggled, like, really struggled, to run 400 metres.
Didnt help that I hadnt pressed go to calibrate it the first time, so we ended up doing it 3 times. AND....it says 400metres when you walk is shorter than when you run. What? Oh well, it's set up somehow.
Work wasnt too bad. New girl started yesterday. I dont think she'll stay long. She doesnt really fit in, and shes a bit like B in that she has to have done everything better than everyone else. She rubs me up wrong way anyway.
Fat Horse was ignored again tonight, it's pissed it down all day so she didnt get ridden. Think I'm off round Swinsty with Jen tomorrow before work, so might scoot up and bring her in before we go so she is at least dry in the afternoon.
Food ban is not going well. Must be better, just in general. I'm so rubbish at running outside, compared to on a treadmill. Its not like I dont practise enough outside, or is it? Who knows.
In gym this morning, ran 2miles in one go, without stopping. Check me out, huh? took 25minutes to do 2.18miles (walked the last bit). Then tonight, was calibrating my nike + thing...struggled, like, really struggled, to run 400 metres.
Didnt help that I hadnt pressed go to calibrate it the first time, so we ended up doing it 3 times. AND....it says 400metres when you walk is shorter than when you run. What? Oh well, it's set up somehow.
Work wasnt too bad. New girl started yesterday. I dont think she'll stay long. She doesnt really fit in, and shes a bit like B in that she has to have done everything better than everyone else. She rubs me up wrong way anyway.
Fat Horse was ignored again tonight, it's pissed it down all day so she didnt get ridden. Think I'm off round Swinsty with Jen tomorrow before work, so might scoot up and bring her in before we go so she is at least dry in the afternoon.
Food ban is not going well. Must be better, just in general. I'm so rubbish at running outside, compared to on a treadmill. Its not like I dont practise enough outside, or is it? Who knows.
Saturday, 31 May 2008
tired...
Ash were great, I think. I got drunk, probably made a fool of myself and wore a too tight/too small top. Have been fine all day, but have just been up to pat-a-pony and tiredness has really hit me now. Was even considering going to the gym at one point, although useless thinking that now cos it's be shut. Bah.
I might wii fit later, see how I feel lol, I could happily go to bed now! Food ban yesterday worked a bit too well and I was pissed after about 5 minutes. Am eating more than enough to make up for yesterday though lol.
Working tomorrow and Monday then a whole week off, I cant wait. Off to Whitby on Wednesday apparently. Have never been. Can't decide if it'll be fun or really quite boring lol, then down to parents for the weekend.
Urgh, I need to go do something before I actually fall asleep.
I might wii fit later, see how I feel lol, I could happily go to bed now! Food ban yesterday worked a bit too well and I was pissed after about 5 minutes. Am eating more than enough to make up for yesterday though lol.
Working tomorrow and Monday then a whole week off, I cant wait. Off to Whitby on Wednesday apparently. Have never been. Can't decide if it'll be fun or really quite boring lol, then down to parents for the weekend.
Urgh, I need to go do something before I actually fall asleep.
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