I'm having a lazy, eat all the pies day today. I can't get motivated at all.
Well, I went to the gym at 8am (couldnt stay asleep, had been up since half 6), then went up and did the nags, havent ridden (and dont feel like riding), just mucked out her stable from yesterday, gave them all haylage and scrubbed her water bucket and refilled it. Also moved her fencing out again. Little bugger has been leaning on the fence to get to more grass and sticking her head through the 2 lines of tape, so I put the energiser on it. God love her, she had the shock (haha) of her life, I feel almost sorry for her lol. She did it twice more then seemed to remember it bit, but everything was snorted at and generally made a high drama of for a while afterwards.
Have also walked into town and spent a ridiculous amount of money in Netto - getting the alcohol for the jumpathon. Really not looking forward to it now, none of my friends are coming and I can just imagine Chris and I sitting with the BBQ all night. Oh well, it's all for charity...
I've been thinking about some stuff Nicola said the other night and the more I think about, the more offended I get. I know the logical thing to do would be to not think about it, but I cant stop dwelling on it. But I cant decide if what she said was offensive or just fact. Chris was off being pissed somewhere so I cant even ask him.
I'm so tired now, I should finish tidying but can't even be arsed to stand up. Was planning on going for a run this afternoon, but....nah.
Friday, 8 August 2008
Thursday, 7 August 2008
Grrrr
Hmm. Last night actually ended up being quite fun. Maybe I just can't cope with her when she's single? He sounds lovely though and I hope he looks after her properly.
Was meant to ride this morning but I woke up at half 5 and it was bouncing down, went back to sleep and it was still raining hard when the alarm went off at 6.15, so decided I wasnt going to ride and (attempted) to sleep a little longer. It's now dry as a bone and I COULD have ridden and I'm cross now that I havent.
Can't decide whether to gym or run tonight. At the minute I dont really feel like doing either. Two (big, admittedly) glasses of wine last night and I feel rubbish! I'm nearly as bad as Christopher LOL.
Was meant to ride this morning but I woke up at half 5 and it was bouncing down, went back to sleep and it was still raining hard when the alarm went off at 6.15, so decided I wasnt going to ride and (attempted) to sleep a little longer. It's now dry as a bone and I COULD have ridden and I'm cross now that I havent.
Can't decide whether to gym or run tonight. At the minute I dont really feel like doing either. Two (big, admittedly) glasses of wine last night and I feel rubbish! I'm nearly as bad as Christopher LOL.
Wednesday, 6 August 2008
fatfatfat
Urgh, I feel fat already. Today at lunch there was a minor slip up with some thorntons fudge AND some ginger cake and tonight cos Nicola is coming round, we're having pizza, garlic bread and wine.
Can't wait though, I'm such a pig.
Work still tense, went to the gym before work this morning, was lovely. Only 3 of us in. Still couldnt get on the cross trainer though, so did bike instead as fast as I could. Only program 1 though cos I"m thick and can't work out how to change the levels. Did 15 minutes on that (think it was 6km), 30 seconds work/10seconds rest X 10 on the rower and on the treadmill...ta-dah!! 1 minute rest (0% incline, 4mph) and work 80seconds on 4% incline and at 6.5mph. I might try 5% next time, see how I go. Only did that for 10 minutes though. Rode tonight and she was A Good Pony, even did some little jumping - not as big as yesterday though. Friends little boy is coming over tomorrow night to 'ride' her (he's 5) so I'm going to ride in the morning to make sure she's calm in the evening lol. I can't decide whether to gym after they've gone, or go for a run. Or just do bugger all.Check me out having dilemmas over exercise.
I'm so hungry, I can't wait for this pizza to be ready.
FatHorse is out in her LW run tonight to make sure I can ride in the morning (is raining now) so I fully expect that to be trashed tomorrow.
And mum rang, she's lost one of the kittens :bawling: She's really upset and I dont know what to say to her.
Can't wait though, I'm such a pig.
Work still tense, went to the gym before work this morning, was lovely. Only 3 of us in. Still couldnt get on the cross trainer though, so did bike instead as fast as I could. Only program 1 though cos I"m thick and can't work out how to change the levels. Did 15 minutes on that (think it was 6km), 30 seconds work/10seconds rest X 10 on the rower and on the treadmill...ta-dah!! 1 minute rest (0% incline, 4mph) and work 80seconds on 4% incline and at 6.5mph. I might try 5% next time, see how I go. Only did that for 10 minutes though. Rode tonight and she was A Good Pony, even did some little jumping - not as big as yesterday though. Friends little boy is coming over tomorrow night to 'ride' her (he's 5) so I'm going to ride in the morning to make sure she's calm in the evening lol. I can't decide whether to gym after they've gone, or go for a run. Or just do bugger all.Check me out having dilemmas over exercise.
I'm so hungry, I can't wait for this pizza to be ready.
FatHorse is out in her LW run tonight to make sure I can ride in the morning (is raining now) so I fully expect that to be trashed tomorrow.
And mum rang, she's lost one of the kittens :bawling: She's really upset and I dont know what to say to her.
Tuesday, 5 August 2008
Tired
As ever.
Work has been odd today. One member of staff ended up having to go to hospital thanks to some new spray we were using to control mites, but it turns out that not only have we just poisoned a staff member, but we may have just inadvertently written off a load of stock by using the spray on it. The word 'fuck' sums it up quite nicely, I think. Now D has rung up to say his girlfriends mother has just died and he doesnt think he'll make it in Thursday or Friday - so I think I've just waved goodbye to my days off this week. I feel awful for minding, but... I do. I dont mind working all hour if I'm going to get paid for it, but I've been told no more for definate now.
Rode the FatHorse this morning - we jumped the dizzying heights of 2ft, check us out. We'll maybe not do that too many times, I felt sick going in, and sick afterwards for fucking ages lol.
I'm not going to get much done tomorrow at work, I can tell.
Gymmed tonight before FatClub, it worked lol, they think I've lost 2lbs. Well, gym + semi food ban for the day. So that wasnt bad. Shame I've spoilt it all by having the biggest bowl ever of cheesey pasta and chocolate chip brioche!! Tomorrow night is another bad night - garlic bread, pizza and wine. Have invited Nicola over as its her birthday at the weekend and I have ensured I'm busy, but I'm fed up of being a shit friend so she's coming tomorrow instead. I will become A Good Person.
Can't decide what to do in the morning. It's raining now, so if it's been wet all night/still raining in morning, as FH is out at the minute, riding will be out the window, so will just go up, throw some haylage at the ones that are in and go to the gym instead. Maybe. If it's dry I'll ride in morning like normal and then gym in evening.
Gym tonight was rubbish, although it was lovely and empty. Had to go on the bike rather than the x-trainer cos people kept getting on them before me and on the treadmill, i ended up having to put the incline down. Only did 10minutes on that too. Pathetic. Tomorrow I'll do better.
Mum still has 3 kittens and the mum, they all seem to be doing well at the minute. Mum thinks they were just too old when they were born as they actually seem about a week old, not a day old at the minute - eyes are opening, ears are up and their points coming through already. Can't wait to see them. She's panicking they're doing too well though and this is the good bit before she loses them all. She's also decided to stop breeding. I can't decide if I believe her or not.
Work has been odd today. One member of staff ended up having to go to hospital thanks to some new spray we were using to control mites, but it turns out that not only have we just poisoned a staff member, but we may have just inadvertently written off a load of stock by using the spray on it. The word 'fuck' sums it up quite nicely, I think. Now D has rung up to say his girlfriends mother has just died and he doesnt think he'll make it in Thursday or Friday - so I think I've just waved goodbye to my days off this week. I feel awful for minding, but... I do. I dont mind working all hour if I'm going to get paid for it, but I've been told no more for definate now.
Rode the FatHorse this morning - we jumped the dizzying heights of 2ft, check us out. We'll maybe not do that too many times, I felt sick going in, and sick afterwards for fucking ages lol.
I'm not going to get much done tomorrow at work, I can tell.
Gymmed tonight before FatClub, it worked lol, they think I've lost 2lbs. Well, gym + semi food ban for the day. So that wasnt bad. Shame I've spoilt it all by having the biggest bowl ever of cheesey pasta and chocolate chip brioche!! Tomorrow night is another bad night - garlic bread, pizza and wine. Have invited Nicola over as its her birthday at the weekend and I have ensured I'm busy, but I'm fed up of being a shit friend so she's coming tomorrow instead. I will become A Good Person.
Can't decide what to do in the morning. It's raining now, so if it's been wet all night/still raining in morning, as FH is out at the minute, riding will be out the window, so will just go up, throw some haylage at the ones that are in and go to the gym instead. Maybe. If it's dry I'll ride in morning like normal and then gym in evening.
Gym tonight was rubbish, although it was lovely and empty. Had to go on the bike rather than the x-trainer cos people kept getting on them before me and on the treadmill, i ended up having to put the incline down. Only did 10minutes on that too. Pathetic. Tomorrow I'll do better.
Mum still has 3 kittens and the mum, they all seem to be doing well at the minute. Mum thinks they were just too old when they were born as they actually seem about a week old, not a day old at the minute - eyes are opening, ears are up and their points coming through already. Can't wait to see them. She's panicking they're doing too well though and this is the good bit before she loses them all. She's also decided to stop breeding. I can't decide if I believe her or not.
Monday, 4 August 2008
Raaahhh
We're not talking about weight today. I didnt have much sleep last night (WHY???) and I was fine until about midday (ie, I'd eaten all my lunch bar the porridge & banana) when Fanny announced she was off to Weegemans. I resisted for approximately 5 seconds, then got a hot ham sandwich, a scotch egg AND a flapjack. The scotch egg and flapjack were both gooood but the sandwich was RUBBISH. So not only do I have food-guilt, it's over some rubbishy shit sandwich I didnt even enjoy. Rahhhhh, indeed.How to lose 5lbs (and keep it off) overnight?
Work was rubbish, although got my final bonus figure. That isn't rubbish, but seeing the amount I have on my credit card IS. Ouch. Work wasnt rubbish, actually, *I* was rubbish. Very lazy and even tiredness doesnt excuse it.
Went running with TAM after work, panicked a bit when we got to Golden Acre and there were the 2 others there as well, all four of us were running :eek: Tried to wriggle out of it, but wasnt allowed and OMG if it wasnt a REALLY GOOD run. We didnt go far - 2.3miles but we (all - inc me!!) ran the first 2miles without stopping (the last 0.3 was up a steep hill, so none of us did that). Only managed it cos the first bit was all downhill and the rest of it till the very end was flat, but hey, I did it, and I POSSIBLY could have gone round again, with a walk break. I might try it again sometime, it was nice. We're going to do Swinsty next Monday night. That I'm not looking forward to so much.
Rode FatHorse after the run, I really shouldnt have. Neither of us were really in the mood and she was a stubborn, nappy, backwards thinking pain in the arse and I lost my temper too quickly. Got off after 20minutes before I did something I regretted.
Mum rang earlier, her queen (bellys mum) went into labour early this morning, but had dificulties, so she ended up going in for a cesarian. There was 5 kittens, but they've lost 2. Mum cant decide if she wants to keep one or not (she doesnt know sexes yet) but has said it's the last litter she's having. Still undecided about Bellyboo, she is gagging for it at the minute and everyone in Otley knows about it.
Hope I sleep tonight.
Work was rubbish, although got my final bonus figure. That isn't rubbish, but seeing the amount I have on my credit card IS. Ouch. Work wasnt rubbish, actually, *I* was rubbish. Very lazy and even tiredness doesnt excuse it.
Went running with TAM after work, panicked a bit when we got to Golden Acre and there were the 2 others there as well, all four of us were running :eek: Tried to wriggle out of it, but wasnt allowed and OMG if it wasnt a REALLY GOOD run. We didnt go far - 2.3miles but we (all - inc me!!) ran the first 2miles without stopping (the last 0.3 was up a steep hill, so none of us did that). Only managed it cos the first bit was all downhill and the rest of it till the very end was flat, but hey, I did it, and I POSSIBLY could have gone round again, with a walk break. I might try it again sometime, it was nice. We're going to do Swinsty next Monday night. That I'm not looking forward to so much.
Rode FatHorse after the run, I really shouldnt have. Neither of us were really in the mood and she was a stubborn, nappy, backwards thinking pain in the arse and I lost my temper too quickly. Got off after 20minutes before I did something I regretted.
Mum rang earlier, her queen (bellys mum) went into labour early this morning, but had dificulties, so she ended up going in for a cesarian. There was 5 kittens, but they've lost 2. Mum cant decide if she wants to keep one or not (she doesnt know sexes yet) but has said it's the last litter she's having. Still undecided about Bellyboo, she is gagging for it at the minute and everyone in Otley knows about it.
Hope I sleep tonight.
Grumpy....
I'm not riding this morning, which has annoyed me, but after having approximately 2 minutes sleep, I've woken up in a bad mood and I just know we'll wind each other up something chronic. Can't help feel I'm a lazy bitch though. Could have/should have gone to the gym instead. Still running tonight with TAM.
I think I've done something to the right side of my chest, slept funny or something, it hurts a little.
Did think about having today off as holiday, but can't really be arsed with the questions and comments I'll get. I wish I could just take a month off from everything, get my head together and go back feeling good.
It's a definate gain week this week. I might forget FatClub tomorrow.
I think I've done something to the right side of my chest, slept funny or something, it hurts a little.
Did think about having today off as holiday, but can't really be arsed with the questions and comments I'll get. I wish I could just take a month off from everything, get my head together and go back feeling good.
It's a definate gain week this week. I might forget FatClub tomorrow.
Sunday, 3 August 2008
Bah
I'm so tired. Went up to the yard and rode before going to the gym. Don't know what had got into FatHorse, but she was an argumentative pain in the arse. I can't decide whether to leave the flash off (could be a bad move) or put a martingale on her. Or just to lunge her, but I could do with riding really - re-establish that we CAN go round corners without falling in or generally being a cow.
Gym was 'ok' - if I'm honest it was a bit rubbish, but I was giving myself benefit of doubt having just ridden. I was being too kind to myself, it was a shit gym, I ended up doing the last work 70seconds at 3% incline and the cross trainer was bollocks, I dont think I made it over 65 on the 'fast' section once. Rower was ok though I guess. No time for thin-arms or stretching. I dont know why I'm still late on a Sunday morning. I shouldnt be.
Work was good, very busy to start with but utterly dead all afternoon, so we ended up not taking a great deal at all. Got some new stock out and have ordered some more new things. I'm getting as bad as chris, hope it sells :S, there isnt room for it NOT to.
I did think about riding again tonight, but ended up just going for a pat. She couldnt care less. Soon as she realised I had no food for her, she just trundled off, no interest in cuddles whatsoever. Ungrateful old bitch.
Went for a run tonight as well, it was shit too. Walked far more than I ran. I'm doubly cross too cos I was too embarrassed to run in front of a bunch of chavs so I ended up walking far more than I should have done. Stupid AND rubbish. Mapmyrun says it was just under 3.5miles though so I should maybe do that one a bit more often, practise it, until I can run the lot. There are a *few* hills though...
I think the next time I go running I'll try Fewston, just a bit scared I'll get lost :rolleyes: I dont really remember the way (I've been round it once) but I do remember a bizarre twisty bit around a car park, which is where I have every potential to get lost. Hmmm.
Jumpathon the week after next. Everyone I've invited has either forgotten, made other plans or just plain refuses to say yes or no. So I'm going to know 4 people there and look like a twat too. I dont want to do it anymore, because I am a spoilt brat.
Might attempt Fewston on Friday, I think. Oh God, I need to get Nicola a birthday present. Her birthday is Saturday. And arrange to do something with her. What to get her?
Gym was 'ok' - if I'm honest it was a bit rubbish, but I was giving myself benefit of doubt having just ridden. I was being too kind to myself, it was a shit gym, I ended up doing the last work 70seconds at 3% incline and the cross trainer was bollocks, I dont think I made it over 65 on the 'fast' section once. Rower was ok though I guess. No time for thin-arms or stretching. I dont know why I'm still late on a Sunday morning. I shouldnt be.
Work was good, very busy to start with but utterly dead all afternoon, so we ended up not taking a great deal at all. Got some new stock out and have ordered some more new things. I'm getting as bad as chris, hope it sells :S, there isnt room for it NOT to.
I did think about riding again tonight, but ended up just going for a pat. She couldnt care less. Soon as she realised I had no food for her, she just trundled off, no interest in cuddles whatsoever. Ungrateful old bitch.
Went for a run tonight as well, it was shit too. Walked far more than I ran. I'm doubly cross too cos I was too embarrassed to run in front of a bunch of chavs so I ended up walking far more than I should have done. Stupid AND rubbish. Mapmyrun says it was just under 3.5miles though so I should maybe do that one a bit more often, practise it, until I can run the lot. There are a *few* hills though...
I think the next time I go running I'll try Fewston, just a bit scared I'll get lost :rolleyes: I dont really remember the way (I've been round it once) but I do remember a bizarre twisty bit around a car park, which is where I have every potential to get lost. Hmmm.
Jumpathon the week after next. Everyone I've invited has either forgotten, made other plans or just plain refuses to say yes or no. So I'm going to know 4 people there and look like a twat too. I dont want to do it anymore, because I am a spoilt brat.
Might attempt Fewston on Friday, I think. Oh God, I need to get Nicola a birthday present. Her birthday is Saturday. And arrange to do something with her. What to get her?
Saturday, 2 August 2008
Hello, good evening, welcome to nothing much
It's been a weird day.
Been up since 5.30 as S has broken her foot and Steph went to Myerscough Futurity so I was only one about to do t'nags. Did it all though AND rode, all before work check me out. FatHorse was...ok. But then I dont think I rode as well as I could have done. Pissed it down while I rode as well, then it's been glorious sunshine all day. Typical. Have left FH, Soph and Gunnner out tonight, despite the fact their stables are all ready, was such a nice night. Have left FH naked, it'll rain overnight now and I'll not be able to ride in the morning, you watch. Just got her and Lu to swap in the morning, do haylage for the indoor3, sort t'dog out and ride. Oh, and waters, natch. Should be doable without getting up at 6am...
B hasnt said thank you for her leaving present. Not to me, anyway. I would love to say I'm shocked, but I'm really not. Silly bitch.
I did my measurements this morning and have lost a big fat nothing over the last month, whats happened there? :bawling: I think I've run more and gymmed more in the last month than ever. Soon it will kick in and I'll feel rubbish, but right now, it just doesnt feel right. Very odd. I know I SHOULD be feeling rubbish, but right now, I dont. It's very disconcerting.
Went for a run tonight though, am pleased I went, about 2pm I was going to give it up as a bad idea and play on wii fit instead, but although it was a rubbish run, at least I did it. What is with this un-negative thinking? It can't last. My Nike+ is getting more and more odd though, reckoned this run (the exact same one it measured at 3.44miles) was 1.84miles. I know I walked more, but nearly 2 miles out? Eek. Almost wish I could go out again, feel full of energy again. All odd this week, I havent liked it at all.
Not sure I can be bothered to school in the morning, but no quick hacks, other than the bridleway I ran round the other day and I am bored to tears of that now.
Now I'm getting cross. This is much more like it.
Been up since 5.30 as S has broken her foot and Steph went to Myerscough Futurity so I was only one about to do t'nags. Did it all though AND rode, all before work check me out. FatHorse was...ok. But then I dont think I rode as well as I could have done. Pissed it down while I rode as well, then it's been glorious sunshine all day. Typical. Have left FH, Soph and Gunnner out tonight, despite the fact their stables are all ready, was such a nice night. Have left FH naked, it'll rain overnight now and I'll not be able to ride in the morning, you watch. Just got her and Lu to swap in the morning, do haylage for the indoor3, sort t'dog out and ride. Oh, and waters, natch. Should be doable without getting up at 6am...
B hasnt said thank you for her leaving present. Not to me, anyway. I would love to say I'm shocked, but I'm really not. Silly bitch.
I did my measurements this morning and have lost a big fat nothing over the last month, whats happened there? :bawling: I think I've run more and gymmed more in the last month than ever. Soon it will kick in and I'll feel rubbish, but right now, it just doesnt feel right. Very odd. I know I SHOULD be feeling rubbish, but right now, I dont. It's very disconcerting.
Went for a run tonight though, am pleased I went, about 2pm I was going to give it up as a bad idea and play on wii fit instead, but although it was a rubbish run, at least I did it. What is with this un-negative thinking? It can't last. My Nike+ is getting more and more odd though, reckoned this run (the exact same one it measured at 3.44miles) was 1.84miles. I know I walked more, but nearly 2 miles out? Eek. Almost wish I could go out again, feel full of energy again. All odd this week, I havent liked it at all.
Not sure I can be bothered to school in the morning, but no quick hacks, other than the bridleway I ran round the other day and I am bored to tears of that now.
Now I'm getting cross. This is much more like it.
August rubbish measurements
Saturday August 2nd
L. calf - 17
R. calf - 17.5
L. thigh - 26.5
R. thigh - 27
Hips (inc tummy)- 45
top hips (on bellybutton)- 44
waist - 35.5
under boobs - 34
L upper arm - 13.5
R upper arm - 13
Wednesday July 2nd
L. calf - 17
R. calf - 17.5
L. thigh - 27
R. thigh - 27
Hips (inc tummy)- 46
top hips (on bellybutton)- 43
waist - 37
under boobs - 32
L upper arm - 14
R upper arm - 13
A grand total of ... zero inches lost, I believe. Fuck.
L. calf - 17
R. calf - 17.5
L. thigh - 26.5
R. thigh - 27
Hips (inc tummy)- 45
top hips (on bellybutton)- 44
waist - 35.5
under boobs - 34
L upper arm - 13.5
R upper arm - 13
Wednesday July 2nd
L. calf - 17
R. calf - 17.5
L. thigh - 27
R. thigh - 27
Hips (inc tummy)- 46
top hips (on bellybutton)- 43
waist - 37
under boobs - 32
L upper arm - 14
R upper arm - 13
A grand total of ... zero inches lost, I believe. Fuck.
Friday, 1 August 2008
This was the day
I was meant to have got to my goal weight.
Nowhere near it.
One day I'll manage it, then fuck it all up. You know it's going to happen.
Nowhere near it.
One day I'll manage it, then fuck it all up. You know it's going to happen.
Not sure what happened there
Was fine yesterday morning, feeling a bit lazy and by the time I'd worked up the energy to get dressed and go to the yard, S had already been and got FatHorse in AND mucked out done her water and hay :blush: so patted her, told her she was a good pony, and came back home.
Took a bit longer to work up the energy to go to HGate and get B a maternity present - felt really tight only getting her #20 from Mothercare as a work present so went to Lush and got her some babyish-related stuff as well. Said I wasnt bothered if I got the money back from that, but have been given it anyway, so thats ok. Also accidentally went into New Look and got some jeans to thin into and a top with Debbie Harry on - love that. Wore it today. Also went to Waterstones and got some more books, and while I was in Lush I got me some more toys. And a DVD. I MUST STOP SPENDING. I have no money. My bonus is spent already and none of it has gone towards Iceland. Also had an accident with some rubbish food. Oreo cookies, pringles and croissants. Nipped into work to take B's stuff in, then by the time I got home I had the start of a headache. I know I went to the gym and had a FatScan (it's rubbish, I'm not even talking about it) - I have the print out here at home, but do you think I can remember it? Last thing I remember from yesterday is leaving work and thinking I should get some petrol (which I didnt do). I have clearly taken some migraine pills at some point because I've found the wrapper out by the bed. Chris says I was asleep when he got in from work and didnt wake up all evening.
Finally hauled myself out of bed at 8.30 this morning and did the horses. Intended on riding but didnt - a good plan I feel, given I still feel dizzy and a bit meh. What wasnt such a good plan, in hindsight, was going to the gym, but I needed to do something. I should attempt going for a run tomorrow night, if I dont ride. I should ride, she's had 2 days off now. Keep spontaneously falling asleep as well which is mildly disconcerting. Have done it twice since I got back from gym. Am not tired?!
We checked the ingredients in the Oreo cookies, cos I wondered if they had set off a migraine, but apparently it's all flavouring and colourings, so not that. I've had them before and been ok as well, which is why it's odd. I'm not stressed. The only other thing I can really put it down to is lack of sleep (I got about 2 hours sleep not last night-obviously-but the night before). But I've had less and been fine? Very odd. I obviously shouldnt have boasted about not having had one for months :lol:
Back at work tomorrow and have eaten shit yesterday and today and have put on weight. This week is a definate gain week. When I feel a bit better I'm sure I'll start to panic and worry but for now ... it's all good.
Took a bit longer to work up the energy to go to HGate and get B a maternity present - felt really tight only getting her #20 from Mothercare as a work present so went to Lush and got her some babyish-related stuff as well. Said I wasnt bothered if I got the money back from that, but have been given it anyway, so thats ok. Also accidentally went into New Look and got some jeans to thin into and a top with Debbie Harry on - love that. Wore it today. Also went to Waterstones and got some more books, and while I was in Lush I got me some more toys. And a DVD. I MUST STOP SPENDING. I have no money. My bonus is spent already and none of it has gone towards Iceland. Also had an accident with some rubbish food. Oreo cookies, pringles and croissants. Nipped into work to take B's stuff in, then by the time I got home I had the start of a headache. I know I went to the gym and had a FatScan (it's rubbish, I'm not even talking about it) - I have the print out here at home, but do you think I can remember it? Last thing I remember from yesterday is leaving work and thinking I should get some petrol (which I didnt do). I have clearly taken some migraine pills at some point because I've found the wrapper out by the bed. Chris says I was asleep when he got in from work and didnt wake up all evening.
Finally hauled myself out of bed at 8.30 this morning and did the horses. Intended on riding but didnt - a good plan I feel, given I still feel dizzy and a bit meh. What wasnt such a good plan, in hindsight, was going to the gym, but I needed to do something. I should attempt going for a run tomorrow night, if I dont ride. I should ride, she's had 2 days off now. Keep spontaneously falling asleep as well which is mildly disconcerting. Have done it twice since I got back from gym. Am not tired?!
We checked the ingredients in the Oreo cookies, cos I wondered if they had set off a migraine, but apparently it's all flavouring and colourings, so not that. I've had them before and been ok as well, which is why it's odd. I'm not stressed. The only other thing I can really put it down to is lack of sleep (I got about 2 hours sleep not last night-obviously-but the night before). But I've had less and been fine? Very odd. I obviously shouldnt have boasted about not having had one for months :lol:
Back at work tomorrow and have eaten shit yesterday and today and have put on weight. This week is a definate gain week. When I feel a bit better I'm sure I'll start to panic and worry but for now ... it's all good.
Wednesday, 30 July 2008
Gah
Today has been not bad in the grand scheme of things I suppose. Bit of a nothing day really.
Hacked out on FatHorse this morning. Just did the bridleway. It's official, I HATE hacking on my own with a passion. She was an arse on the bridleway, took us 10 minutes longer cos she was a spooky witch and proper-forwards just wasnt an option at all, she was just being a dick. Then we got onto the road, and this redeemed her 100% - we had all sorts of twats trying to squeeze past us at ridiculous speeds. Two cars wing mirrors even collided some twat was so desperate to get through and FatHorse, God love her, didnt even flinch. She did then spook at a sheep, but there were no cars, thankfully. So, I can't really decide to be cross cos she was a pain on bridleway, or be releived because when it mattered, she listened and was sensible. I'll be releived, I think. I desperately want to find someone to hack with though. Chris keeps promising he'll come out on his bike but he never does. I'm almost tempted to ask Nicola if she wants to run with us again. THATS how desperate I am. Thats awful, I must stop thinking like that. I am not a nice person at times.
Work was ok. Money gone again. I'm sure it's D. Spent all afternoon going through the CCTV but nothing.
Went to the gym, did the same as I managed on Monday, check me out!! And did thin-arms. Was tired by end, trundled off in a world of my own.
Been rubbish though. Rubbish. I'm still gutted that the Beth Orton tickets sold out. MSP are just playing their Heavenly songs on another date, but that's already sold out and I cant justify ebay prices on 6 songs. I'm still tempted by the Beth tickets though, it's just the idea of paying 7 times the face value... But...Bonus... Hmm..
Hacked out on FatHorse this morning. Just did the bridleway. It's official, I HATE hacking on my own with a passion. She was an arse on the bridleway, took us 10 minutes longer cos she was a spooky witch and proper-forwards just wasnt an option at all, she was just being a dick. Then we got onto the road, and this redeemed her 100% - we had all sorts of twats trying to squeeze past us at ridiculous speeds. Two cars wing mirrors even collided some twat was so desperate to get through and FatHorse, God love her, didnt even flinch. She did then spook at a sheep, but there were no cars, thankfully. So, I can't really decide to be cross cos she was a pain on bridleway, or be releived because when it mattered, she listened and was sensible. I'll be releived, I think. I desperately want to find someone to hack with though. Chris keeps promising he'll come out on his bike but he never does. I'm almost tempted to ask Nicola if she wants to run with us again. THATS how desperate I am. Thats awful, I must stop thinking like that. I am not a nice person at times.
Work was ok. Money gone again. I'm sure it's D. Spent all afternoon going through the CCTV but nothing.
Went to the gym, did the same as I managed on Monday, check me out!! And did thin-arms. Was tired by end, trundled off in a world of my own.
Been rubbish though. Rubbish. I'm still gutted that the Beth Orton tickets sold out. MSP are just playing their Heavenly songs on another date, but that's already sold out and I cant justify ebay prices on 6 songs. I'm still tempted by the Beth tickets though, it's just the idea of paying 7 times the face value... But...Bonus... Hmm..
Tuesday, 29 July 2008
I really dont know why I'm surprised
My FatFighting friend, who begged and pleaded with me to go to meetings with her because she didnt want to go on her own has given up. Reckons Slimming World will suit her better. I dont even know why I'm shocked she's bailed out on me, but there we go. I didnt even want to go.
I went tonight though. Lost 5lbs, apparently. I dont get it. How can I be uber good one week and not lose a fucking thing, then this week go over points every day and yet lose a substantial amount? It makes no sense. I would say I'm not complaining, but I really am - I'd love a loss like that every week which blatently isnt going to happen and it upsets me that I can't. Rubbish. More compliments, more rubbish. I dont like it, I didnt realise people took that much notice and I wish they didnt.
Was going to ride this morning, but when I woke up it was pissing it down, so I did the Bridleway Run instead. My Nike+ is rubbish, it said it was 0.87 miles, and it took me 31minutes, which is clearly bollocks as I ran most of it. Mapmyrun says it's 2.6miles - much more likely. It was raining though and I got drenched. Had to get chris to bring me dry pants and socks and a towel to work. I intended on riding tonight but I was knackered by time I got back from FatClub, so she's just gone back in the field. I nearly went up and put her rug on but darent cos it was still fairly hot and I know perfectly well she would have trashed it the second my back was turned. I'd like it to be at least a month old before she does that. MUST ride tomorrow, but I'll be pissed off if it's raining again. Metcheck assures me it wont be, but it has been wrong before.
Beth Orton is doing a gig in London on 13th September which I am beyond desperate to go to, but Stu is being horribly slow in replying to my text asking to swap the weekend. Am tempted to just buy the tickets, as I've just watched the platform sell out almost in front of my eyes. Am resisting the urge to text again...and again and again and again.... I have the hugest crush ever on Beth, if I dont end up looking like Shirley Manson, I'd 'settle' for Beth.
GOD DAMMIT TEXT ME BACK.
I went tonight though. Lost 5lbs, apparently. I dont get it. How can I be uber good one week and not lose a fucking thing, then this week go over points every day and yet lose a substantial amount? It makes no sense. I would say I'm not complaining, but I really am - I'd love a loss like that every week which blatently isnt going to happen and it upsets me that I can't. Rubbish. More compliments, more rubbish. I dont like it, I didnt realise people took that much notice and I wish they didnt.
Was going to ride this morning, but when I woke up it was pissing it down, so I did the Bridleway Run instead. My Nike+ is rubbish, it said it was 0.87 miles, and it took me 31minutes, which is clearly bollocks as I ran most of it. Mapmyrun says it's 2.6miles - much more likely. It was raining though and I got drenched. Had to get chris to bring me dry pants and socks and a towel to work. I intended on riding tonight but I was knackered by time I got back from FatClub, so she's just gone back in the field. I nearly went up and put her rug on but darent cos it was still fairly hot and I know perfectly well she would have trashed it the second my back was turned. I'd like it to be at least a month old before she does that. MUST ride tomorrow, but I'll be pissed off if it's raining again. Metcheck assures me it wont be, but it has been wrong before.
Beth Orton is doing a gig in London on 13th September which I am beyond desperate to go to, but Stu is being horribly slow in replying to my text asking to swap the weekend. Am tempted to just buy the tickets, as I've just watched the platform sell out almost in front of my eyes. Am resisting the urge to text again...and again and again and again.... I have the hugest crush ever on Beth, if I dont end up looking like Shirley Manson, I'd 'settle' for Beth.
GOD DAMMIT TEXT ME BACK.
Monday, 28 July 2008
I should be really happy today
But somehow I'm not, and I dont know why. I know I SHOULD be.
I've found out what my estimated bonus is. It's a good one :nod: Will pay off credit card, put a healthy whack in the extension fund and boost the Iceland Savings Fund somewhat too. My payrise kicks in next week, thats an extra #30 a week after tax, which can go into The Iceland Fund up till we go and the extension thereafter. So money is kind of looking less of a struggle. So there's Reason One To Be Happy.
FatHorse has managed to stay out almost 24/7 since Saturday night and still has not colicked or anything stupid. Reason Two.
I went to the gym tonight, TAM couldnt make running - I was kind of relieved tbh. I'd worked myself up to doing The Bridleway Run (I dont know why it warrents capitals, but it just does in my head)....had even decided to go along Yorkgate first, as that was the bit I was really dreading and was almost looking forward to it, just pure nosiness to see how long it took, compared to being on FatHorse...and I wanted to use my Nike+ again lol, I do like nice shiney things. Then was told the gym was empty and it was, it was great. I'm even proud of what I did - treadmill 5% incline, 6.5mph for 70seconds on each work section to 15minutes, 15 rower intervals and then the cross trainer on level 15. Even did thin-arms. Reason Three I should be happy. It may not be a huge improvement, but it's the best I've done so far.
Reason 4 should be the best yet, but I think it's that that's one of the things that's made me all weird. A customer really complimented me on how I look now. It worries me...I forget how many people I see in a day. What if it all goes pear shaped, what if I get back into eating shit all day and all night? I do sometimes have to push myself to go to the gym or running, what if I give up? It would be so easy just to have a week off, which would turn into 2, which turns into a month...that's what happened at Aireboro. And then what would people think, when I get fatter again?
So that made me weird, added to the fact I had a disagreement with a girl at work, and the new work shirts I got don't fit (too small, natch) and Chris has got all weird about me being on the yard on my own or going running up there on my own, thanks to a sex attack in the forest, means that despite all the good stuff, I've actually been really rubbish all day.
I've found out what my estimated bonus is. It's a good one :nod: Will pay off credit card, put a healthy whack in the extension fund and boost the Iceland Savings Fund somewhat too. My payrise kicks in next week, thats an extra #30 a week after tax, which can go into The Iceland Fund up till we go and the extension thereafter. So money is kind of looking less of a struggle. So there's Reason One To Be Happy.
FatHorse has managed to stay out almost 24/7 since Saturday night and still has not colicked or anything stupid. Reason Two.
I went to the gym tonight, TAM couldnt make running - I was kind of relieved tbh. I'd worked myself up to doing The Bridleway Run (I dont know why it warrents capitals, but it just does in my head)....had even decided to go along Yorkgate first, as that was the bit I was really dreading and was almost looking forward to it, just pure nosiness to see how long it took, compared to being on FatHorse...and I wanted to use my Nike+ again lol, I do like nice shiney things. Then was told the gym was empty and it was, it was great. I'm even proud of what I did - treadmill 5% incline, 6.5mph for 70seconds on each work section to 15minutes, 15 rower intervals and then the cross trainer on level 15. Even did thin-arms. Reason Three I should be happy. It may not be a huge improvement, but it's the best I've done so far.
Reason 4 should be the best yet, but I think it's that that's one of the things that's made me all weird. A customer really complimented me on how I look now. It worries me...I forget how many people I see in a day. What if it all goes pear shaped, what if I get back into eating shit all day and all night? I do sometimes have to push myself to go to the gym or running, what if I give up? It would be so easy just to have a week off, which would turn into 2, which turns into a month...that's what happened at Aireboro. And then what would people think, when I get fatter again?
So that made me weird, added to the fact I had a disagreement with a girl at work, and the new work shirts I got don't fit (too small, natch) and Chris has got all weird about me being on the yard on my own or going running up there on my own, thanks to a sex attack in the forest, means that despite all the good stuff, I've actually been really rubbish all day.
Sunday, 27 July 2008
It was (kind of) all going so well
Bah. I've been rubbish with food tonight :( No reason, just being a greedy cow and it was There.
Went up to yard this morning and FatHorse was still within FatCamp and hadnt spontaneously colicked or anything ridiculous, which was nice. Brought her in and turned the shetland out (I LOVE that pony) and went down to the gym. Was a bit rubbish before but the workout was good, although the running was hard this morning. Kept it to a minute on the work sections but had the incline at 5% all the time. I can;t do any longer yet though, I've been trying. Didnt get thin-arms either, must do them the next time I'm in. Might go after FatClub on Tuesday, depends on how suicidal I feel.
Got to work at there was a msg from TPO saying she'd got so hot yesterday she couldnt possibly work today :rolleyes: So that was 2 off sick today, but we managed to get a load done, I'm proud of us today. Went back up to the yard afterwards and rode the FatHorse. Really shouldnt have done, or more to the point, I should have gone on a hack. We just mooched round the school for a bit, did a bit of trot then went in. Running tomorrow night so it will have to be schooling before work. I might lunge her actually, but thats a bit of a rubbish workout for me. Ive already done her stable etc. I've just thought of a run I might do on Thursday - just round the bridleway that I normally ride round. Takes about 40minutes walking and trotting, so I'm not sure how long it'll take to run it. I'm sure it's not 3 miles though, it doesnt feel as far as Swinsty when I'm on FatHorse.
Food tonight has been really rubbish, I'm never going to lose my 20lbs by Iceland if I carry on :(
Went up to yard this morning and FatHorse was still within FatCamp and hadnt spontaneously colicked or anything ridiculous, which was nice. Brought her in and turned the shetland out (I LOVE that pony) and went down to the gym. Was a bit rubbish before but the workout was good, although the running was hard this morning. Kept it to a minute on the work sections but had the incline at 5% all the time. I can;t do any longer yet though, I've been trying. Didnt get thin-arms either, must do them the next time I'm in. Might go after FatClub on Tuesday, depends on how suicidal I feel.
Got to work at there was a msg from TPO saying she'd got so hot yesterday she couldnt possibly work today :rolleyes: So that was 2 off sick today, but we managed to get a load done, I'm proud of us today. Went back up to the yard afterwards and rode the FatHorse. Really shouldnt have done, or more to the point, I should have gone on a hack. We just mooched round the school for a bit, did a bit of trot then went in. Running tomorrow night so it will have to be schooling before work. I might lunge her actually, but thats a bit of a rubbish workout for me. Ive already done her stable etc. I've just thought of a run I might do on Thursday - just round the bridleway that I normally ride round. Takes about 40minutes walking and trotting, so I'm not sure how long it'll take to run it. I'm sure it's not 3 miles though, it doesnt feel as far as Swinsty when I'm on FatHorse.
Food tonight has been really rubbish, I'm never going to lose my 20lbs by Iceland if I carry on :(
Saturday, 26 July 2008
Once again...two good days in a row!
(so far anyway, I've been feeling a bit wobbly the last hour or so...)
But yeah, today has been fairly good. I think the trick is keeping myself busy, but that's easier said than done sometimes. Havent ridden today OR run OR gymmed because I was working, but I'll gym in the morning and ride or run in the evening.
FatHorse has had her FatCamp rebuilt and she's in it tonight...Cross everything she is still standing in the morning and hasnt done anything ridiculous.
Was slightly stiff this morning but it eased up throughout the day. I think it'll hit me tomorrow!!
Payrise comes into effect August 8th :banana:
Wish I'd ridden though, tonight was perfect for a nice hack but I'm so BORED of going on my own. I might put an advert up at work asking if anyone wants to come riding with me :blush:
But yeah, today has been fairly good. I think the trick is keeping myself busy, but that's easier said than done sometimes. Havent ridden today OR run OR gymmed because I was working, but I'll gym in the morning and ride or run in the evening.
FatHorse has had her FatCamp rebuilt and she's in it tonight...Cross everything she is still standing in the morning and hasnt done anything ridiculous.
Was slightly stiff this morning but it eased up throughout the day. I think it'll hit me tomorrow!!
Payrise comes into effect August 8th :banana:
Wish I'd ridden though, tonight was perfect for a nice hack but I'm so BORED of going on my own. I might put an advert up at work asking if anyone wants to come riding with me :blush:
Friday, 25 July 2008
Had a really good day
Been so busy as well, havent actually acheived very much but it's occupied me all day and I havent wanted to be a twat at all. Check me out!
Got up fairly latish (lazy cow!), and went up to Swinsty and trundled round... Some woman I've never heard of told me I'd done good so that cheered me up. Wish I knew how far it really was, Nike+ told me it was 3.44miles which it REALLY isnt. But whatever, I was pleased.
Came home, got changed and went to the yard, did a full muck out of FatHorses stable and put 2 new bales of shavings in while she trundled about the yard grazing and just generally being in the sun... I'm sure she doesnt care, but I like her to be out in the sun just mooching about. She did chew the wing mirror on my car though. That wasnt so good.
Came home and got changed again and walked straight down to the gym... it wasnt the BEST of sessions - I had to knock the incline down a bit on the treadmill, but rower and cross trainer were ok. Didnt get thin arms but did the hurty-stretches. Had a shower...and got changed AGAIN!!
Walked home, did boring-housework had some lunch (at 5pm) and went back to yard to ride. Intended to do some jumping, but chickened out. Did 2 jumps and she was being silly so we fart arsed around the field instead. Pony came in all frothed up with sweat and I wasnt much better. Must clean my tack tomorrow :blush:
Finished at yard and got back home, Stef seems to have gone missing :S No one seems to know where she is, which is very odd. Am sure she's fine, but can't help feeling a bit worried.
Realy havent done very much and I'm knackered!! Am working tomorrow now as V has hurt her leg. Had a tantrum about doing it, but I'm getting paid for it, and it can either go towards Iceland-money or on the credit card. Working Sunday too but have thursday and friday off cos I'm working next weekend too. Why is it always my weekends that get fucked about with and never Stus???
Got up fairly latish (lazy cow!), and went up to Swinsty and trundled round... Some woman I've never heard of told me I'd done good so that cheered me up. Wish I knew how far it really was, Nike+ told me it was 3.44miles which it REALLY isnt. But whatever, I was pleased.
Came home, got changed and went to the yard, did a full muck out of FatHorses stable and put 2 new bales of shavings in while she trundled about the yard grazing and just generally being in the sun... I'm sure she doesnt care, but I like her to be out in the sun just mooching about. She did chew the wing mirror on my car though. That wasnt so good.
Came home and got changed again and walked straight down to the gym... it wasnt the BEST of sessions - I had to knock the incline down a bit on the treadmill, but rower and cross trainer were ok. Didnt get thin arms but did the hurty-stretches. Had a shower...and got changed AGAIN!!
Walked home, did boring-housework had some lunch (at 5pm) and went back to yard to ride. Intended to do some jumping, but chickened out. Did 2 jumps and she was being silly so we fart arsed around the field instead. Pony came in all frothed up with sweat and I wasnt much better. Must clean my tack tomorrow :blush:
Finished at yard and got back home, Stef seems to have gone missing :S No one seems to know where she is, which is very odd. Am sure she's fine, but can't help feeling a bit worried.
Realy havent done very much and I'm knackered!! Am working tomorrow now as V has hurt her leg. Had a tantrum about doing it, but I'm getting paid for it, and it can either go towards Iceland-money or on the credit card. Working Sunday too but have thursday and friday off cos I'm working next weekend too. Why is it always my weekends that get fucked about with and never Stus???
I wonder...
(todays Good Food Day isnt starting very well, I just stole some of Chris' nutella sandwich.)
But, that aside, I wonder if I'll ever be happy with the way I look? My thighs, I think, are finally starting to get some kind of definition to them, rather than just floppy flab, so that made me kind of happy last night before I realised that once those were sorted there was still everything else to work on!!
The Pregnant One sent me a text at 5am saying she needed today off as holiday because her neighbours had had a party and it didnt finish till late and she was tired. Chris has said to pretend I never got the message and see if she actually asks properly, the way staff are meant to. I'm glad I'm not at work today, if she does end up having the day off there will be uproar. She has tomorrow booked off as holiday - convenient that every time she has a holiday booked, the day before SOMETHING happens so she gets a longer one. She goes on mat leave next week and I cant wait, although when I suggested to everyone it might be nice (ha) to get her a leaving present and card they all had fits and refused to put any money in. Joyous.
I was looking at the Blue Lagoon website again last night, I really really must get back into weight loss and not be swayed by haribo and crisp sandwiches and the like. I need to buy a swimming costume, but I darent until the week we go to make sure it fits properly. There's only 8 weeks till we go now :S I'm so cross with myself, there's not a CHANCE I'll be under 13 stone by then :bawling: I've finally started putting money into an Iceland Account and I'll put #20 a week in it but thats only #160 saved up for it...judging by the prices of stuff, that will last me approximately the journey from the airport to the hotel!! PLEASE let me have a bonus in August... Actually, I wonder when my payrise kicks in? I can put that over too. Was kind of hoping I'd need a 'Clothes The Fit' shopping trip again before we went, but that's unlikely.
Fuck it, 20lbs in 8 weeks. It must be doable. I just need to be really good. And actually go running and keep running rather than bitching I'm about to die.
But, that aside, I wonder if I'll ever be happy with the way I look? My thighs, I think, are finally starting to get some kind of definition to them, rather than just floppy flab, so that made me kind of happy last night before I realised that once those were sorted there was still everything else to work on!!
The Pregnant One sent me a text at 5am saying she needed today off as holiday because her neighbours had had a party and it didnt finish till late and she was tired. Chris has said to pretend I never got the message and see if she actually asks properly, the way staff are meant to. I'm glad I'm not at work today, if she does end up having the day off there will be uproar. She has tomorrow booked off as holiday - convenient that every time she has a holiday booked, the day before SOMETHING happens so she gets a longer one. She goes on mat leave next week and I cant wait, although when I suggested to everyone it might be nice (ha) to get her a leaving present and card they all had fits and refused to put any money in. Joyous.
I was looking at the Blue Lagoon website again last night, I really really must get back into weight loss and not be swayed by haribo and crisp sandwiches and the like. I need to buy a swimming costume, but I darent until the week we go to make sure it fits properly. There's only 8 weeks till we go now :S I'm so cross with myself, there's not a CHANCE I'll be under 13 stone by then :bawling: I've finally started putting money into an Iceland Account and I'll put #20 a week in it but thats only #160 saved up for it...judging by the prices of stuff, that will last me approximately the journey from the airport to the hotel!! PLEASE let me have a bonus in August... Actually, I wonder when my payrise kicks in? I can put that over too. Was kind of hoping I'd need a 'Clothes The Fit' shopping trip again before we went, but that's unlikely.
Fuck it, 20lbs in 8 weeks. It must be doable. I just need to be really good. And actually go running and keep running rather than bitching I'm about to die.
Thursday, 24 July 2008
I've annoyed myself this week
OK, so work has been rubbish, but there has been no need for my rubbishness (with both rubbish-rubbishness and work-rubbish) whatsoever.
Today was appalling, got myself into a huge state this morning over NOTHING at all, and demanded Chris went out for chocolate hobnobs, I ate the entire pack, I have actually disgusted myself with what I've eaten today. I darent even admit anything else, it's too awful.
At least I've been for a run though, but my stupid out of breath-breathing really lets me down, it makes me so cross. The run was fun though, even if it was hardhardhard. I've decided Jen actually hates me and wants to kill me.
Tomorrow is a new day and all that, I MUST be good with food now, I hate still being this weight, so much for my aim at the beginning of the year to be 11stone by 1st August. I'll be lucky to be 14stone by then!!!
so, all rubbish and I must just stop being such a twat. So easy just sat here, announcing that. Must start running on a Monday night again too, wont get better if I give up!!
Today was appalling, got myself into a huge state this morning over NOTHING at all, and demanded Chris went out for chocolate hobnobs, I ate the entire pack, I have actually disgusted myself with what I've eaten today. I darent even admit anything else, it's too awful.
At least I've been for a run though, but my stupid out of breath-breathing really lets me down, it makes me so cross. The run was fun though, even if it was hardhardhard. I've decided Jen actually hates me and wants to kill me.
Tomorrow is a new day and all that, I MUST be good with food now, I hate still being this weight, so much for my aim at the beginning of the year to be 11stone by 1st August. I'll be lucky to be 14stone by then!!!
so, all rubbish and I must just stop being such a twat. So easy just sat here, announcing that. Must start running on a Monday night again too, wont get better if I give up!!
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