so tired

Went to gym tonight and did my full program. Am knackered!! Not a chance in hell of running, was an effort to stay on the treadmill just walking. Didnt get any of the rower metres under a minute. I did, however, manage to plank for a whole minute and have increased the cross trainer to level 8. It's all good, right?

Pancakes for tea - I cant have pointed right, I still have 1.5points left and had 4 pancakes.... 2 with ham & mozzerella (mmmm), 1 with chocolate spread and marshmallows and one with lemon juice & sweetener.

Dont think laxatives worked. Well. They probably have. I am Fat Bloater-4 poo's today and am HIGHLY windy this evening.

Must motivate myself and go to bed. Am in grave danger of falling asleep here. This YouTube obsession is Very Bad.

Woe is Me

*sigh* How do I get this pound off? I'm still just teetering on 16stone and it's starting to piss me off.

Without getting too graphic, I constantly feel like I need a Very Big Poo so OH has trundled out to Tesco and is getting me some laxatives. Must gym tomorrow. I did plan on going today, but I felt so shit at lunch time - blurry eyes, swaying, slurred speech, I really thought I was going to have a migraine. Typically I am fine now and itchy cos I havent done much today.

Not much else to blog really. A friend and I are considering doing the BHF Leeds-Skipton walk (the whole thing!!) but that isnt till September - she should have been her GW for months and I should just about be getting there. Race for Life is applied for etc, just waiting for my pack now. Different Friend still hasnt applied which has pissed me off - I really dont want to do it on my own.

Hope OH comes back soon. How long do they take to work? Hours? Minutes? I'm going to need my Big Poo at work, or at the gym, arent I? :(

Another Tantrum brewing...

Well, after the excitement of the other day of FINALLY being in the 15's, I dont think I'll make it under 16stone this week - Not unless I have a rice cake for tea on thursday night anyway.

Gym again today, was quite busy so I didnt do any running. Did do full program though. Can't decide whether to do cardio and core tomorrow or have a night off. Hmmm, decisions decisions.

Still loving YouTube and Facebook. Is it wrong to have such obsessions?

Work might be awkward tomorrow, one of the managers wants to sue for loss of earnings from yesterday :S Was busy today though.

Pancake day on Tuesday, another reason why my diet might be buggered. Lambstew & pudding again tomorrow, pancakes Tuesday, Omelette on Wednesday...what to have Thursday? A rice cake is looking an attractive option.

I'm so tired and not really done anything. treadmill was hard work today, maybe just as well I didnt run.

I wanna do great things

I don't wanna compromise....

Is going to be my new theme tune :nod:

I posted on a forum that I go on a lot (daily :rolleyes: ) about my weight loss and everyone is telling me how well I've done, which i can kind of accept on one hand. One the other, I still have another 5 stone to go, so I cant get TOO excited.

I got into the 15's today :grin: only just - half a pound in :lol: but, still, under 16 stone. I can't remember the last time that happened. In fact, I dont think I've EVER seen that on a set of scales when i've been stood on them. The excitement is actually unimaginable.

work was a bit baba today, really bad accident further down and the road was shut, so a lot of people assumed we werent open, despite the police allegedly telling them we were. I have my doubts. Very quiet, but it did mean we got some good work done in the shop.

Under 16 stone, me....weeee!!

Another 2.5 stone and I'll ask about riding lessons :)

Measurements Day

No pictures though, will do those 1st March to get (hopefully!) a better 'midway' pic.

Tuesday January 1st 2008:
L. calf - 18
R. calf - 17.5
L. thigh - 29.5
R. thigh - 29.5
Hips (inc tummy)- 52
top hips (on bellybutton)- 51.5
waist -43
under boobs - 37
L upper arm - 15
R upper arm - 15

Friday February 1st 2008
L. calf - 17.5
R. calf - 17
L. thigh - 28&aquarter
R. thigh - 28&aquarter
Hips (inc tummy)- 50
top hips (on bellybutton)- 51
waist - 40.5
under boobs - 34.5
L upper arm - 15
R upper arm - 14.5

Which if my adding is correct... I've lost 12 inches from ALL OVER my body in a month. Hail the GymBitch!! I'm having a day off from the gym this week, have been every day so far, but I *might* go on Sunday.

so, I've lost those 3lbs I'd put back on on Monday, but have failed on my 'into the 15's by February' challenge, so I now have to lose 8.5lbs this month to 'win' my 15.7lbs by March 1st challenge. It's do able. Now I'm out of my hormones induced tantrum, I know I CAN do it. This whole 'lost 12inches' malarky may have something to do with it too.

Wish I could find my fattest measurements. I think I put them on the fire so OH wouldnt see them.

Feeling guilty

In these last 2 years, with the exception of having to 'give up on' MCob I've been horribly lucky - undeservingly so. With some of the crap that some people I know are dealing with, I can feel it's about to turn round and bite me on the arse big time.

Measurements Day tomorrow. Not looking forward to it, I dont THINK I've changed size. I thought I might have done the other day (I had a sneaky peek) but either I'd not eaten or something was going on because I havent budged on todays sneaky peek. Gym again tonight, I ran, again!! Did 1min @ 3.5mph, 1m30 @ 5.5mph and another 1m30 at 4mph twice, then a break of 3mins at 4mph and one at 3.5mph and then a final burst of 5mph for a whole minute :lol: to finish. Was so sweaty :blush: embarrassingly so. but the AIM is to run at least part of the Race For Life, which I registered for today.

Work very slow today. I looked for some GCSE Maths courses but I cant afford any of them :( so much for being Debt Free. *sigh*

Exiled

Very odd. Havent been able to log in since Monday. No idea why, although tonight i tried going through blogger rather than signing in through my blog. Am posting so something seems to have worked, somewhere...

News? Well....we got the bonus :D So HOPEFULLY, it looks like by the end of next week I'll be able to pay off at least some of my second credit card (might not clear it now - reasons will become clear...) and pay off the car and mattress.

So...have been shopping. Joules have a sale on. I have spent about #70 :blush: but I have SAVED double that, easily. Honest. Plus I have some joggers to thin into. And they really will be to thin into, not a surprise like the Next joggers.

The tantrum seems to have passed. I struggle so hard though, the shopping on Saturday REALLY upset me and have spent the last 2 days constantly on the verge of tears. OH went out and got me some herbal happy pills in preperation for next month.

In Other News.... Gym tonight...I RAN on the treadmill :biggrin: for less than a minute and a half :lol: but I DID it, it was such a huge deal for me too.

Off for a bath now. I stink after The Run.

*sigh*

Dont come to me for optimism...

Now, I am 100% sure than in a weeks time I'll be all upbeat and positive again, but right now I just wanht to curl up into a ball and not see anyone ever again. I've been this weight for 2 months now, nothing fit me yesterday and I still have so far to go.

I'm only just over half way. Another 2 years minimum of this? No way. I'll go crazy.

I'm going to go to the gym tomorrow evening after work. Show willing if nothing else. Maybe it is time for meetings? I dont know. I didnt think I'd been SO bad this week (ok the baguettes, toasted sandwiches and muffins were a minor blip) but half a stone? Really? Scales this morning said 16.7 stone. I so desperately wanted to be in the 15's this week.

Tried to stay in the shop for today - was expecting lots of going up and down stairs for customers etc.... spent most of the day upstairs texting - great example.

IdiotChild came in. I made her cry.

The Adventures of DietGirl is REALLY good. Still jealous though. I want to BE her.

OH has ManFlu. He is not long for this world.

It's 9pm and I'm about to go to bed, how sad is that?

uuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I'm tired. No gym today, headachey and just meh in general.

Went into Leeds rather than HGate, what a disaster. Nothing fitted, not even a 22 M&S pair of jeans. Well. They went on and did up, but they were too tight to actually wear in public. And the top I tried on (in an attempt to lift my wardrobe of just dark colours) bagged badly at the back.

So I gave up, bought some Soap and Glory (new obsession) miracle creams and a book and came back home.

Why is my motivation slipping? I do wonder if it's the weather and the fact I am sick of winter now - and not even any ponies in sight. But, hmmm, I dont know. I want this so badly but I seem to have been trying for so long now.

I came on today as well (week early, hmm) which wont help. Also wont help in my 'lost 3lbs by monday to keep on track'. Need to lose 2lbs this week just to sts. Damn those baguettes/muffins over Tues & weds. Plus I now have the DEFINATE start of a cold.

IdiotChild has rung in 'sick' again for the weekend. Half hoped we'd see her in town, but nooo. Did hear a band playing live one of TheEx's bands songs today. Nearly had a fit, thought he was there.

Must stop spending money. It's my own fault I'm in so much debt.

I wanted to do an OU business course (I really am finding it hard at work) but it's SO expensive. I've asked the local college for information on any courses they might have instead. Shame because I would have liked a degree. No particular reason, I just want one... Was 1200 though just for the foundation - more again for the diploma and then even more for the actual honours certificate.

Hmmmm

OH and I both have a day off tomorrow, but I dont know what to do.

We SHOULD go through our finances and decide how much is left to pay for etc. AFAIK, I SHOULD be debt free by my birthday, although I must make a concerted effort to get my teeth sorted this year too.

What I want to do though, is go into HGate, and Shop. The novelty of being able to shop in at least 2 extra shops (M&S and next) will take a while to wear off. I doubt we wil. In the time I've started this entry, I've stopped and gone to Tesco to do the Friday Big Shop and now we're back I feel utterly drained. Tired and achey. I was almost considering the gym tomorrow, but if I wake feeling like this, I wont bother.

Mattress is still :wub:

So tired. Going to have an evening of Family Guy I think.

farty....and oh dear...

Oh my....I have horrendous wind. Such a classy girl lol.

CPD wasnt bad, bit boring in places, but the equine worming section was ace. Crap 'substantial buffet' so OH bought me 2 baguettes which i ate on the way home, along with 2 chocolate muffins and some Revels.

0point curry today.

My books arrived today, think I will read Dietgirl for inspiration. Doubt I will make it to 15's :(

OH!!! AND!!! I paid off AND cut up my barclaycard today. Just the car, my hsbc card, mattress, loan and surveying costs to pay back now :unsure:

Hopefully should be out of debt by my birthday. Dependant on a few things. Will have to ask for clothes for my birthday!!

rahhhhh

i cant really be arsed to blog.

Allegedly started early so I could go early. I did go early. I went to the gym and just did cardio (too lazy today for resistance too) and just as I came out....The alarm for work was going off. So have spent far too long waiting for a numpty to come out who took far to long to decide to leave it till tomorrow.

Also to make today go oh-so-slowly, the road outside is flooded, so we've had hardly any customers in. For a scary while we thought we might be flooded in, but thankfully not. Did mean though that instead of the 3 minute journey to the gym, it took me 23, and had to go up the bank, down the chevin and round about.

Mattress arrived today, looks FAB. I cannot wait to go to bed.

Thats about it for today. May have scuppered the 'be in the 15's by February' today - am 4 points over already. And CPD tomorrow and Wednesday....no pointage then. Sigh.

Still a little bit rahhh!

No idea why. Getting a little bit uptight about the CPD (why? Chances are I wont see anyone anyway) and just rahhh! in general.

Posted on the forum about makeup and either Clinique or Benefit seems to be the choice, although a few people have mentioned Lancombe too. Someone else suggested going to to proper beauty person and getting HER to pick my colours etc. And then there's mineral make up. Where to start? Where do I find a beauty person from?

Gym this morning, worked hard. Was bright red and very sweaty by the time I'd finished LOL. Think it is getting easier, and today I was 16.2 so something seems to be happening. Lets hope this next week or so doesnt go tit shaped cos then I will have easily made the Feb 1 target and be well on the way to March 1st target.

Didnt go to OHs sisters in the end, drank sparkly wine instead. Doubt we will go see I Am Legend either. I bought 28 Days Later today cos apparently IAL is like that and I managed 5 minutes before I made OH turn it off. Big pansy.

New mattress tomorrow. Cannot WAIT, I am so excited :grin:

hair, decisions and a banghead

Hair - took 4 hours, but I'm chuffed :biggrin: First colour didnt take so she did another with a darker colour - I like :D Will be a shock to OH though!! However spending stupid amounts of time in the hairdresser meant that I couldnt go to Boots and spend lots of money OR go to Next to buy more stuff. And I walked there and back.

Have also done the Nell dvd.... only managed 15 minutes the first time, then had a bit of a break (read quite a big break) and did the rest. Constant prancing. Floor may need reinforcing. Gym tomorrow. At least that floor feels solid lol.

Off to OHs sisters tonight and it's been decided we're going to see I Am Legend on Monday night.

Work alarm went off again this morning at 7am thankfully (would have been SO pissed off if it had been any earlier) cos the builders had left a wire dangling. So day started early and am now feeling effects. MUST get washing out of machine and do veg for tonight but I cant be BOTHERED.

Hair really is VERY dark....

Decisions - well, not really decisions tbh, more extra determination re the diet/sizeloss.

And the banghead? Why do people ask for advice and then either totally ignore what you say or pay such little attentiion to you that they go and do it anyway? I give it 2 weeks.

SSSSSSSSSSQQQQQQQQUUUUUUEEEEEEEEE

I'm so overexcited.

Today I went to Next (actually looking for shoes). I came out with a pair of joggers for me to thin into.

I am sat here, wearing them now. They fit.

I'll probably add to this later when I'm not quite so giddy...
-----------
Haircut tomorrow, also I must not go crazy with Next shopping.... I dont understand the sizing though, I'm obviously not a size 20 (tape measure says) yet they do appear to fit....dont think they would if they were jeans though. Just a smidgeon to tight. Anyway, woo!!

NewKitten is being an absolute pain in the arse. Today, she has broken a mirror, knocked a panel out of the kitchen cabinet and jumped up my back - that earnt her a smacked arse.

My thumb is still sore. Will buy some second skin stuff tomorrow.

Also, breaking news, TheEx has been in touch, ironically as I am listening to one of *his* bands albums. Anyway, he wants a divorce and will phone again in a couple of weeks when he sorts out his financial situation. Also tried a few obvious guilt trips, but I ignored them. I know his life hasnt been THAT shit in the 2 years we split up and I managed to get him to admit that it was best we did split up.

Might do a carmen DVD tomorrow, as not going to the gym. Going Sunday instead.

meh, not so positive :rolleyes:

Checked on the scales this morning, had put on 1lb :( But went to the gym again tonight. LazyFriend and I were clearly delirious and spent much of the session in fits of laughter. Especially when I went to do a step up and did a big fart....think we managed to disguise it as the bench squeaking.

Not going to the gym tomorrow, and have the weekend off. Looking forward to getting my hair done Saturday and will gym on Sunday. Due to CPD will have to go to gym Mon thurs and friday cos I'm working the weekend too.

I MUST get off the amazon website. I'm tired, I should go to bed...

positive

But then I have been to the gym twice already this week, am going tomorrow and will probably go Sunday.

Was hard work tonight, but I was with lazymate who bitched and moaned the whole time which I'm sure made it harder work. Very tired now AND havent eaten all points. Having 0point curry tomorrow.

I was thinking tonight, mainly cos my newly uber-thin ( :D :D ) friend came round, just how much better I feel for losing weight. I think more about food and while I do sometimes crave a bacon sandwich, I am able to ignore it...for the most part anyway. I have more energy, I want to do more, I am more organised, because i can be BOTHERED to do it now whereas before I was just too lazy. When I think back to how I was, I get so embarrassed :( I remember being too lazy to walk to the garage (a 5 minute walk,if that) and the food I used to eat, thinking I was being healthy. It's all positive, I just wishwishwish I'd never got to the stage/weight I did.

Fruit epiphany still going well. Had a fatfighters recipe as well tonight - pan fried chicken & bacon. 4 points, very nice. Bulked it out with 0point veg too.

Got a poorly...

Was sat in office this morning, having my (cold) cup of coffee, being as it was the first chance I'd had to actually have it. Heard a big crash from the shop, pondered on whether to ignore it and pretend I hadnt heard it, or to go and investigate.

I investigated and got slashed across the bottom of my thumb for my trouble. Not sure how, as I cant see what I did it on (a rat cage trap) but it's right on the bend, so everytime I move my right thumb - that would be a lot - it reopens. Very sore.

Gymmed tonight, did full program. Takes 1.5 hours. Was very sweaty by end :lol: but did EVERYTHING. Even the plank, and the step ups onto the bench (12). Sat on the boso ball and twisted with a 5kg weight, did 2 reps of 30 and my sides feel it now. Got a funky new sign in system now - all done on finger prints!! Bets on how long it takes before it breaks?

Spoke to a complete numpty at Bayer today....didnt have a clue what she was talking about, but I think we have it sorted now.

I'm so tired. Very chuffed I went to the gym though. Workout was hard work, but wasnt as bad as I was expecting. Bit cross because I ended up on the magically slow treadmill today but upped the speed so I hope I was doing similar. Didnt need to hold on today though till I got tired. Got a sweat on though. Is all good.

MMmmmm, lovely fruit....

Better be bloody lovely and good at fat burning at 7points a serving....

Didnt go to the gym tonight, but did do (the warmup of) Nell McAndrews DVD. I would have done it all, but there was lots of prancing and it sounded like I might go through the floor :unsure: BUT....I did the warm up and wasnt remotely out of breath or sweaty! I believe this is a first.

Absolutely tapped in the head....

I went to the gym AGAIN today. Not only that, I did my arms and core/abs review too (jenny wasnt busy and the gym was empty). MUCH harder work. Slightly confused over the arms I think, especially as I have to go into the boys bit for one of the bars (girls bars only go up to 6kg :blush: ) but i'm sure I'll cope. I ACHE now though.

Dont really have motivation to do much now. Work will hurt tomorrow lol. Not going to gym tomorrow - will be packed and I think I deserve a day off!!

Beginning of March treat can be a new gym kit....I muST be due one by then!!